The New Mrs Storer

Some tough times.

2012-02-17T00:39:00.000+11:00

I have NOT enjoyed the past 5 weeks. Not one bit.

Jamie moved away for work. So essentially I've been a single parent and I hate it. I hate the lack of company in the evening, I hate not being able to share the load.

Mark started high school and we had some major anxiety to deal with. Over the past three days, he's been suffering from a spasm-y stomach, the doc thinks it might be "migraine stomach aches".

Ryan has become super clingy, we attempted to put him in the "big boy bed" but after two weeks of hell, I convinced myself that it was ok to put him back in the cot, so I rearranged the boys room for the 5th or 6th time and his sleeping pattern normalised. Daycare has been a nightmare for Ryan, he doesn't enjoy* being dropped off, he screams and carries on, clings to me like a koala and pretty much needs to be pried away by the staff who always reassure me that the day improves. Currently Ryan is sick, he has a double ear infection and congested lungs. He is on penicillin and ventolin (via a spacer & mask)

Ben is still brilliant. He cut more teeth without a fuss, currently has 4 top teeth and two bottom teeth. He commando crawls very quickly and is very inquisitive and quite independent. He's not a great fan of cuddles but will give a kiss if you "pucker" at him. He is very smiley and loves the remote controls, 5c pieces and food! Ben also has a bronchospasm and is on ventolin via a spacer & mask.

I didn't cope with agency work. Being called at 5am to cancel a shift or be given one is just not my cup of tea. Dropping the boys off at 6am and dashing to my work with Mr Clingy was more than I could stand. Thankfully I am starting my "real job" on Tuesday at St Vincent's Private Hospital, I'm stupidly excited about it. I just have a great feeling that its going to be good. That our work situation will work out. Jamie will find a contract job at the airport down here that starts at 7 or 8am, so he can do the daycare drop off... men handle it so much better.... or is that Jamie will handle it better than me.

* this is a super understatement.

First Day of Year 8

2012-02-02T14:05:00.001+11:00

My biggest boy started school this morning, and as usual, nerves took hold.

It really looks like a nice school. Very big, about 1400 kids from year 7 -12. His old school had around 800 but only 7-10.

The uniform is nice, grey shorts/pants, a white shirt, white socks and black shoes. Sport uniform is green shorts and a green shirt, which to me begs the question, why the heck are there two uniforms, make the whole lot the sport uniform and be done with it.

Changes from Waratah to Gladdy Park are:

Lockers
Your own personal copy of the text books
Diary
6 classes a day, not 5

Gladstone Park appears to be the school Waratah wants to be. There is a full gym (along with exercise equipment), 300 seat theatre, hockey, basketball, AFL, soccer, cricket, and handball areas. Lovely grounds.

We did a dummy run yesterday - took us 40 minutes to walk there, Mark later in the day rode there in 10 mintues!

Today I drove him, tomorrow (depending on how today went) will be on the bike.

I hope he will allow me to take a photo when he gets home. Fingers crossed.

Aches and pains.

2012-01-30T12:09:00.001+11:00

38 so far has not been a good year for me. I feel I'm hurting all the time.

I broke my little right toe by kicking the door frame back in November, its almost fixed now, but can still be very tender.
Sciatica - OWWW
Sore shoulder from changing gears.
Torn medial meniscus (my knee) causing strong pain.
Tender back, I think that is from being stiff.
Frequently have a "cricked" neck from sleeping wrong.

Hopeless that is what I think.

Masses of photos

2012-01-22T12:52:00.000+11:00

Mark looking very cool, and quite grown up.

Benno, my little cheeky chops.

A nice stylish photo of our Skye.

Chaos at the Storer side Christmas dinner


Starting to open the pressies.

Mark helping Ryan open his presents - the look of delight on his face.

Daddy and Ben with a gorgeous soft dog that he got for a present.

Ben working out how to open the presents, Ryan's face is saying "what its not for me"

Mark and Margie, they gave him this lovely keyboard.

Cousins galore. That's Roy with the antlers on.

Sheena and Ben saying hello.

Christmas Day hail... yes that makes sense.

The bigger picture of the Christmas Day hail.

Mark changing Ryan's nappy... yes it was a doozy.

In the "big boy" bed.

Another one of cheeky chops.


Hello... can anyone see me?

Ryan on the tramopoline.

Selfies happen early these day. Ryan taking a self portrait.

The fantabulous lemon tree.

Our Tulla backyard.

help, Help, HELP HELP HELP please

2012-01-22T08:58:00.002+11:00

We're suffering, Ryan is not going to sleep at night. In the last months, lots of changes for him. Changes are as follows:

Moved house - seems to have coped with that well.
Lots of visitors - enjoys that.
Mark went away for 2 weeks - but he loves Mark, don't go.
Daddy went away - OMG he loves Daddy and now can't see him (last night he kissed Jamie's picture on my phone when he said goodnight)
We moved him to a "big boy" bed the day before we knew Jamie had the job, and he left 5 days later and routine was not established.
Started daycare 3 days per week.
Changeable weather - can't help that one.
Naps are erratic
Mummy goes walking at strange times, leaving Ryan at home.

So with all that in mind, Ryan is having so much trouble falling asleep.
We do the wind down procedure,

dinner - that is a whole other battle that I won't go into yet.
bath - love love love the bath, its a frequent calmer down.
relax in front of the telly,
story (ok I only started that yesterday, but they really enjoyed it, so it will continue *blush*)
The kiss, tuck in and say goodnight.

The the drama starts, he comes out, he cries/screams, he comes out, he comes out he comes out. All the time, Ben is in the same room, so his sleep is being disturbed.

I've done the "I've said goodnight, time to sleep, shut your eyes" He does this, then immediately returns.

I've growled, I've even smacked, I've been stony faced, I've been loving. I've given a drink, I've given the silent treatment. My main problem is when in the cot, he would scream, but in the bed, he just comes out screaming.

Help!

Next is the horrible wake up.
He wakes up screaming and thrashes about, yesterday he even butted his head on the ceramic tiles. This performance (which I try to ignore) goes on for 10-15 minutes. If I cuddle Ben, he weaves his way in and pushes, hits or kicks Ben to get him out of the way. Ryan is still essentially non-verbal, he will repeat words, but they appear to have no meaning. He grunts and points, often at nothing in particular which makes it even harder. Even Ben has taken to looking at him with a strange expression on his face.

I think the bed means he gets up before he wakes up properly and this is his wake up procedure. When in the cot, I could hear he was awake but lay there and chatted to himself, even for half an hour before he "asked" to get up.

Mark is a big softie and any time he cries he wants to give him his dummy, even though we've made dummies a bed only thing. His behaviour is making dummy-in-the-mouth an almost constant thing, which has given him an excoriation mark on his lip/chin.

Mark is desperate to help, but this usually means getting him out of bed for a cuddle, or hopping in his bed to calm him down, all of which will be a rod for Mark's back later on.

OMG, I'm suffering from lack of sleep. Feeling guilt as I have to give tons of attention to Ryan, so I feel I'm not giving Ben as much attention. Its so hard. I hate being a temporary single parent. I want my webcam, but can't find it.

But at the moment, Marko is playing his xbox talking to his bestie, Ryan is happily playing with a ball, Ben is wiggling around on the floor finding stuff to play with.

Like.... forever

2012-01-15T22:36:00.001+11:00

PART ONE - THE MOVE

Hi there,
It sure has been a while.
What have you been up to?

I'm guessing no one really looks on here, but I'll write just the same. So much has happened since the 10th of November, that I'm quite embarrassed to tell.

Firstly we moved. It was awfully stressful and an event I do not wish to do again - ever (unless someone else packs and unpacks and there aren't renovations being done at the same time)

That obviously tells you that our renovation actually got finished. Our home in Newcastle had a lot done to it over the 8 years we were there. We repainted every room, re-curtained every room, put a built in wardrobe in the master bedroom, took out a floating wall*, demolished the kitchen and built a new one from scratch, re-tiled the shower, re-surfaced the bath, made a new bathroom vanity unit, polished the floorboards in the kitchen and re-carpeted the whole house. It was a massive task, and although I have written that we did it, truth be told, Jamie did it, mostly by himself, some help from his parents and a few faithful fantastic friends, but essentially by himself.

Our house has been rented out, hopefully to a nice family who look after the place and want to be there for years and years to come.

We moved back to our home in Tullamarine. Its pretty good except for the carpet in the lounge/computer room which has been destroyed. Hopefully in the next month or two we will rip it up and polish the floorboards. I will have my work cut out for me in the sweeping department if that plan eventuates. We have slate at the front door, tiles in the kitchen, dining, rumpus, laundry and toilet and in the near future will have floorboards in the lounge and office. Eeek, so much sweeping.

We are loving the backyard. It was pretty stark when we first moved back, huge lawn, high wooden fences and a lemon tree. Since Christmas we have now got a trampoline (tramopoline), a kiddie pool, a slide and two pink cars. Along with the outdoor table, a pram or two, the dog bed and random car parts... its a full backyard now.

* What is a floating wall, its a term I made up, but the previous owners wanted to add a room to get more rental income, so a partition wall was created in our computer room, leaving a "space" without a light that contained the back door.

Changing ones mind.

2011-11-10T21:04:00.001+11:00

As a mother I'm allowed to change my mind and realise my mistakes. The hard part is explaining myself and holding true to myself.

I've stuffed up with Marko and his damned, stupid, irritating, life-sapping xbox. I allowed him to play war games, I purchased them for him. These are not just war, but graphic, realistic, blood splattering, violent war games, ones that are rated MA15+. Not sure entirely why I ignored the rating when I got the first one. He said "all my friends are playing it" I believed him and truth be told they are "all" playing it.

The latest and greatest of the Modern Warfare series came out this week. I heard on the telly that England is trying to ban it due to its extreme violence, realistic graphics and scenes that are obviously based on the Underground bombings in London several years ago. Mark is desperate for this game. Desperate to the point of tears when told NO.

There are two reasons not to purchase this game in particular.
The violence.
The cost.

Mark's response is: "Its exactly the same as my other games"
Me: "You don't need it then, play the ones you've got"
Him" THis one is better"
Me: "Oh well, too bad, I've made my decision and its NO"

Tears! Slamming of doors! Aggression! (Yet he swears black and blue that he is not being affected by these games).

He wants to know why he's allowed to play the old games and not the new one. So I've offered to sell them all. Didn't get a favourable response to that one.

I just don't know what to do at the moment. I feel hypocritical. I'd love to sell the whole damned system. I want him to be a kid, go outside and play. He is only interested in killing people on that stupid console. Tomorrow we MUST put the timer lock onto it. He has no self control with time.

grr

2011-10-31T10:14:00.001+11:00

I'm currently on hold to Centrelink. Enough to drive someone to drink!

We've had a super busy weekend, and physically I'm paying the price. Aches in my knees, hips, back and shoulders. Not happy Jan.

Currently I live in a massively messy house. I need to organise the kitchen so its habitable, the laundry (which is seconding as our bathroom) is full of shit (oops I mean stuff). We have bare floorboards in every room, along with staples and dirt. OH THE DIRT.

I need to de-staple Ryan's room today, Jamie will sand the walls tonight and then we can paint is either tomorrow or Wednesday.

Went shopping today, bought (or is that brought) 4 t-shirts, 2 shorts and 5 socks for Mark as he appears to have grown on the weekend. Everything is too small, too tight or worn out.

Got myself 3 tops and a pair of fashionable shoes, quite excited about the shoes actually.

Halloween mask and some cookies for Marko's party / get together tonight.

Photos of the Munchikins

2011-10-19T20:26:00.002+11:00

This is from tonight (19th October), Ryan was happy to have his picture taken, but Ben was not feeling very safe.

Starting out having solids, rice cereal is pretty yuck, but he does seem to like pumpkin and apple.

Morning tea time at Speers Point Park.

Ben at Speers Point Park.

It must be annoying being stuck in the pram,
when everyone else gets to play.

Mark and Ryan in the water play area. This was a tap that kept on running and gets recycled around. Ryan was enthralled by it.

Ryan with Christian's scooter. (Christian is Mark's friend Damien's little brother). Ryan LOVED this scooter, it's essentially a bike without the pedals

Ryan with the rocket launcher.

Ben after a bath.

Moving

2011-10-19T11:09:00.001+11:00

In 6 or 7 weeks we will have packed up our home in Shortland and will be on the road to our new/old home in Tullamarine.

Its a massive move. We've been here for 8 years, we've almost doubled the size of our family. We've accumulated, oh how we've accumulated.

When we moved up here, we had approx 50 boxes of stuff. I'm most intrigued with how much we'll have this time.

So far I've packed the china cabinet, trophy cabinet, photo albums, Mark's stuff (he did that himself) and half of the book case in the lounge room.

* * * * * * *

We also need to finish off the renovation!

Soon, we are getting new carpet in the four bedrooms, the hallway, the lounge room and what we have renamed the "rumpus room". The bathroom is halfway done, the kitchen still has 5 things to be done. Ryan's room needs to be painted. Might need to replace the clothesline, paint the "post" on the front porch, weed the garden and tidy up the backyard.

Getting it off my chest.

2011-10-17T08:29:00.001+11:00

Currently not coping with my lot. I don't want to sound ungrateful, I'm terribly grateful. I have a man who I love. 3 healthy children. A good job. Money. Family. So please don't think I don't appreciate all that, but some days you just need a good moan. So for this post, I don't plan to punctuate every sentence with "but I really love him" as that is a given. This is straight up saying how I feel.

I'm not happy.

I'm not coping with my Ryan, he is 22 months old and at the moment it feels like he is never happy, he is sooky, selfish, grumpy, annoying and a poor eater.

Today he woke up at 5.30am, I gave him his milk in a cup and then put him back to bed. He talked to himself until we got up at about 7am. That is pretty good. He isn't unhappy in his bed. His breakfast this morning was poor, wouldn't eat half of his (one) Weetbix, sultanas and a drink. Anything not eaten is thrown on the floor. He is refusing to go into his highchair, back arching and screaming when I attempt it. As for going out, don't get me started. I'm hating leaving the house with him, he has become "that child" the one that screams. He doesn't want to be in the pram any more (and I don't blame him, he's nearly 2), but I'm not entirely ready for him to walk. When he walks, he runs away. If I can get him in the pram, it feels like child abuse, pushing him in the chair. Awful. So how am I dealing with this.. by not going out without Mark or Jamie, or waiting until Jamie comes home and leaving the boys at home. Hence they are not being socialised and not learning the proper social skills for out of the house.

I'm very stressed about his lack of language skills. But am not willing to do anything about it until after our move. Maybe I will. Oh dear. I'll call a speech path today and see what kind of cost/wait it is.

I'm stressed about Mark. He is addicted to the xbox and I can't seem to stop him playing it. That feels like a cop out as he's only 13 but its the truth. Yesterday at the end of the day he calculated that he played for at least 7 hours. That's not good. I can't get him to do homework without threats and I don't like that. This afternoon he needs new shoes, so we'll go shopping and then he can do some homework.

Ben is a dream except he has nappy rash which is making me feel like a bad mother.

Jamie is working so hard and I'm just riding him harder. He have to have everything finished in about 6 weeks now, but I thought about it yesterday, he knew all year that we were moving, he's known for 3 years that we were renovating our kitchen. I don't need to feel guilty about him doing 15-18hr days at the moment as it should have already been done! Harsh but fair. Plus when we get to Melbourne, he most likely will not be working, so can have a break then.

Sometimes things just happen

2011-10-13T06:11:00.001+11:00

And you haven't made a conscious decision about it.
Take Ryan for example: he now only gas one nap! Surprisingly this works. I don't recall thinking the two.naps are gonna be over soon.
And take Ben: all of a sudden I was carrying him on my hip, not in my arms.....
Weird.

WOW

2011-10-10T12:12:00.001+11:00

I'm almost at 500 posts on this here blog. Who would have thought?

Mark:

Today starts the beginning of Term 4 at school. Mark went off this morning in a mostly happy mood. Challenges this term will be getting to bed on time (he believes he is 16 not 13), prioritising correctly and limiting time on the blasted xbox.

I asked him yesterday what his priorities in life were, after a bit of thinking

My brothers
Doing well
xbox

Do wish xbox wasn't on the list, and wish that I was on the list. But that seems fair (and quite sweet).

This term I believe will be the same as the other terms and there will be bugger all homework, I have a feeling that Waratah High School is catering to the lowest common denominator and not pushing the children. Last term he had weekly Maths homework and one other assignment. Most of the parents I know have rules that are

Homework
Chores
Blah blah blah
TV or video games.

If there is no #1 it makes it hard to enforce it. So I'm thinking that there will be limited homework again. So I want him to make time each day to walk the dogs, do the chores, do some reading which he is really lacking, do any homework and THEN play xbox.

Ryan:

Is 22 months old now, almost 2 years old. He is a strong willed little fellow, who is a bit whiny and cranky these days. His main problem (I believe) is his speech, he lack almost all speech, except for MUM and UGH. He has said "thank you", "I don't know", "football" and others. But those were one off's.

His eating is still pretty poor and his ability to drink from a cup (just embarrassing). But mostly he is a happy guy, likes to kick balls, tap balloons, dance to his favourite song "Party Rock Anthem" by LMFAO still!

Haven't decided whether to move him into a big boy bed yet. My heart says NO, so I think I'll listen to my heart.

Ben:

Ben is gorgeous. He's super happy, barely makes a sound, so much so, that when he does cry, we don't know what to do. As he is six months old now, we've started him on some solids. Yesterday was good, he had rice cereal in the morning and mashed pumpkin for dinner. This morning the cereal didn't go down well.

He's trying to roll, trying to sit and can be quite noisy (which is a contradiction) but its happy noisy, so that doesn't count. Loves looking at his brothers and when he's allowed to hold a toy, he likes it.

His whole body smiles when he smiles and we all adore him.

BIG NEWS:

We're moving back to our home in Melbourne. I've resigned from work, last shift on the 13th November. Jamie is due to resign any day now. We are moving any day of the week commencing the 5th of December. So home for Christmas!

It'll be really sad to say goodbye to the friends we've made up here in Newcastle, but it was never supposed to be permanent. This year became the year to do it. Very happy with the decision too.

Heating up

2011-09-20T21:04:00.000+10:00

Well only sort of...

Today was at least 30 deg and it was warm. I didn't mind it though, I love wind and it was mighty windy. It was windy enough for Newcastle City Council to evacuate the Art Gallery because of the fig trees.

I've had Mark at home for the past two days, he's had a cold and hay-fever. Its quite nice having him around, but he really needs to go to school. Driving me freaking nuts... he is highly addicted to his Xbox, Jamie and I are really wishing we didn't buy it for him for his birthday.

The babies are gorgeous.

Turning 38

2011-09-19T12:13:00.001+10:00

Saturday was my birthday.

I wasn't expecting much. Jamie always forgets to prepare. Mum had been in hospital, so couldn't send a card, Dad wouldn't send a card. The rest of the family are not "senders" either. Sure they'll call, but send a card, ahhh no.

Saturday morning, 4am, Ben woke up for a bottle. I had a pain in my chest, it hurt when I breathed (get it, hurt all the time, but was worse when I breathed in). The pain went through to my back, I thought it was my back-pain playing up. Then my mind wandered, the pain when I was breathing, was this a pulmonary embolism? Best plan... ignore it.

5am Ryan woke up, the pain was worse, I felt I had to "hold my chest" which is not an easy thing to do. I ummed and ahhed for a bit, by 5:30 I had woken Jamie to ask him what he thought. I had a pain in my chest, all over my right side, my back, felt nauseas and a bit sweaty. Jamie consulted his "first aid" book and then we both decided it would be best to call the ambulance. We did and one was here in about 15 mins.

The worst/ best part was the pain went away - before the ambulance came. They did an ECG, blood pressure etc, all looked normal, but we decided I'd go to the hospital anyway to be checked over as I had never had any thing like that before. Plus all the advertisements say "don't wait when you have chest pain"

They took me to the Mater Hospital, and the nurses were sneery at me. I'm sure the ambo handed over "Here is Christy she had chest pain ***whispered*** but its all in her head ***returned to normal volume*** we've done an ECG" blah blah blah.

The nurse did another ECG (my skin has reacted to the adhesive!). Within 5 minutes the lovely Dr David arrived and he took my history and some bloods.\

Then Dr Katie (I think) she was an intern on the Renal side when I was largely pregnant with Ben and was completely thorough and wonderful, she remains so. She came and had a long chat with me, explained that I hadn't had a heart attack, didn't have a blood clot and now I'm thinking it was an anxiety/panic attack. I was home by 9am.

Good start to one's birthday don't you think?

The fellas picked me up, gave me a lovely card and a Lotto ticket, my real present is a ticket to Dolly Parton for later in the year.

I ended up not going to work, had a snooze in the afternoon as I was feeling *heavy and down.* We went to the Shortland Pub for dinner with my dearest Terese and her boys. It was very nice indeed.

So Happy 38th Birthday to me.

Why???

2011-09-13T20:51:00.001+10:00

Why do things have to change? Blogger looks different and I don't like it.

Emails.

2011-09-06T09:15:00.002+10:00

Email is a fact of modern life. Different people use it, well, differently.

In our family, email is at the top of the ladder of communication. Emails are read promptly, answered promptly and most definitely kept!

When people ask for help, it is provided, but then they don't respond for two days... why ask for the help unless you actually need it. Then PLEASE say thank you, so we know you have received said help.

Its hard to put yourself in someone else's positon and know their regard for email. I feel everyone should be that same as me... surprise surprise.

What is your email philosophy?
What is your Facebook philosophy?
What about Twitter?

I quit Twitter because it was too constant and far too flirty for my liking. As a lot of your will know, I love Facebook, I feel its my home in a way. I respond to a lot of stuff, and it confuses me when people don't comment on your comments. Maybe I'm craving attention... oh I know I am.

The toddler's baby.

2011-08-23T13:41:00.003+10:00

Ryan loves his teddy, Roger. He is quite obsessed with him at the moment. Started about 3 weeks ago. Roger had to be taken everywhere, given super tight cuddles and is really treated as his baby.

Roger has an incontinence problem, so is normally seen wearing a nappy. He is sometimes dressed in a onesie. He is put in the rocker. He is put on his tummy for tummy time. He requires to be wrapped before bed, sometimes he needs a longer sleep than Ryan, so we must creep out of the room, so as not to wake him. Roger likes a drink of pretend milk out of a bottle.

I love that Ryan has this imaginative play. Mark was not big on it. He preferred to push a car around. Ryan is not a "player", he likes to run around, and throw/kick balls. He is also VERY big on playing Daddy to this bear of his. I'll upload a video in another post (from my phone) of this morning play... very cute.

Tuesday Rants.

2011-08-23T08:14:00.002+10:00

I feel a rant coming on.

#1. Motorbike insurance.
In NSW you need "Compulsory Third Party" (CTP) insurance, also known as a Green Slip. This is to cover injury in an accident. In Victoria this is a general insurance called Transport Accident Commission *TAC* and it is a part of the cars registration. In NSW, they have privatised the CTP part, so you need to shop around for it as well as your comprehensive insurance. That is the back story!
Jamie rides a motorbike to save money on petrol for going to work. It was up for renewal this week. The Registration costs $111 for the year, CTP is $421 and full insurance is $374. We have to do this for 3 vehicles every year. Jamie shopped around for his CTP, found a better price (our previous company wanted $50 more), but he was informed that the CTP will NOT cover at fault accidents for his own injury (I'm pretty sure that is what he said). So in the very unlikely event that Jamie would cause an accident on his motorbike....

Just read the fine print. Jamie got me in a tizz for nothing. Most of the greenslips are a "no fault" argh.

Coping with a 20 month old.

2011-08-10T13:00:00.004+10:00

I think I'm having trouble with the gorgeous Ryan. I have just admitted in writing here that Ryan is hyperactive, aggressive and destructive. Its completely true as well.
It's not all the time. Most of the time he's affectionate and sweet (always hyperactive though). But its the aggression that is worrying me.

Reading what Courtney said in the link above, and I shall quote:

In considering Pudge's behaviors, we could definitely classify most under two categories:
1. Behaviors that occur because she doesn't have the communicative skills to appropriately express herself (i.e. slapping an adult across the bottom or jabbing a peer in the chest to announce her arrival instead of using her voice to do it.)
2. Behaviors that occur because she is sensory seeking. (i.e. emptying toy boxes and laundry baskets and any drawer in the whole blessed house she can reach, tackling her brother, body slamming the shih tzu, etc.)

Pudge is an almost 3 year old girl with Down Syndrome, so her challenges are different. That being said, Ryan is still non verbal, he grabs me by my jeans and pulls or pushes me until I'm where he wants me to be, I know there is a voice in there, just want him to say "come here Mummy". The sensory seeking part is very very true (just wish I knew what it meant), he opens everything, pulls out stuff, goes through any open door, escapes at every opportunity. Ryan is also similar to Pudge in that he has a high pain tolerance. Give him a needle, he'll give you a dirty look. Fall over and get an egg on your head, rub it better and just a little cry. Smacks on the hand are greeted with amusement "why the heck did you do that?"

But onto the aggression. Mark is rough with him. Mark is very rough with him. They "play" constantly, in a throw you around, pretend to hit, trip you over, yell in your face. Mark never (well hardly ever) uses real words when around Ryan, its all "arrrrhhhhhh" and stupid laughing. Whenever Ryan starts to cry because Mark has taken it too far, "I was just trying to make him laugh" Who freaking cares about him laughing. Its teaching a wrong behaviour. Ryan is learning that aggression is ok, because Mark does it. Ryan will then choose his target - Ben. But Mark (sort of) knows when to stop, Ryan is still very young, and doesn't yet possess the skills to say, oh this might hurt Ben.

I seem to be stuck on a record player saying "time to calm down Mark", "stop screaming Mark", "that's enough Mark". What if my younger boys only remember me being angry with Mark?

The hyperactivity is crazy. He runs from the minute he wakes up. If he sits down, he will want a blanket on his knees (its cold here at the moment and we don't use our heater, we put blankies on our laps). Instantly the blanket is pulled up, he is standing up again, spins in a circle, sits down and does it all over again. This can happen 10 times in the space of one minute. The only relief Ryan gets is when he is in his high chair, bed or car. I wish sometimes he would just relax, but he doesn't seem to be able to. I take him outside to run around and kick the ball, but I never do it for long enough, so then there is a tantrum.

At least he still sleeps fantastically. 7:30pm until 7ish. Then a 2-4 hour nap in the day time. PHEW. But last night he woke at 12:30 and was awake until around 2:30am... strange.

Is it because of this challenging behaviour that I'm almost relieved to be going back to work? I feel a bit of a failure as a parent at the moment, I know I'm not. But the lack of talking is really getting me down. Last night our friends daughter said "I love you Daddy". She is about 3 months younger than Ryan! BUT she is a girl, the eldest and her mother is a trainee primary teacher.

Advice is most welcome.

Confused.

2011-08-08T16:04:00.003+10:00

Mark, Ryan, Ben. Ryan, Ben, Mark. Ben, Mark, Ryan.

Too many names. Oh there is a good one, "Jame, I mean Mark"

What the heck do you call them??

Gorgeous little boys.

2011-08-03T14:28:00.002+10:00

Happy 4 month birthday to my little dude Ben Arthur. Time has gone so quick.

So being 4 months old means he had needles today. He's currently sleeping it off. He was really good about it, so good in fact that Ryan got a lollypop!

Ben is getting quite chunky, his face is filling out, he is full of gorgeous expressions. I just love him to bits.

Ryan is a handful, but then he's 20 months old. He's getting taller (just). But its his understanding that is amazing. As you know, we've restricted dummy usage. Now when he gets out of bed, he hands him dummy to me and we place it on his dresser. He also gets to suck on it during nappy changes (a trick that Roy taught us), this morning I asked for it back after his nappy change and he wouldn't open his mouth. So I said to him, its either give me the dummy or you go to your cot. No handing back of the dummy, so I put him to bed and he fell asleep. Also yesterday, I was sitting on the floor feeding Ben, I asked Ryan "please give mummy the remote" and I pointed to it (it was on the next chair) he walked over, picked it up and handed it to me. Excessive praise given. He's a smart cookie.

Mark is a teenager! He's totally obsessed with war video games, they are very *very* violent, so he spends most of his time killing people! As always, he's great with the little boys, although sometimes a little rough. Food and filling Mark is an issue. I feel I want to say another story, but I can't remember it.

I must find my camera cord, I need to upload photos.

Today

2011-08-02T08:33:00.003+10:00

This is a post about the Today show. (I was going to do it on my phone, but I'm at my computer now, so will do it here - quicker)

I spent years hating the Today show, I was a firm fan of GMA (before it was axed) followed by Sunrise. I loved Kochie and Mel and their antics. But then they started to sour on me. I think it was during the coverage of the Christchurch earthquake when Kochie was standing in front of the Grand Chancellor Hotel and you could just see him wishing it would fall down so he could be in the footage.*

Then I saw/read that Karl Stefanovic was up for a Gold Logie. Not that dickhead Karl I thought. Then I switched. He is very funny, I love Georgie and Ben. Lisa is the weakest link I feel, but still think she is great. The things that irk me about the Today show.

They sit so close together on the couch, I know its so they both get in the shot. But I don't even sit that close to Jamie, let alone someone who isn't my husband.
What is Richard Reed laughing about all the time?
Why is Richard Wilkins still on tv?
Why is the weather readers job the best on tv?
How come they spend so little time on each topic, surely some things deserve a little longer than three minutes.
I think its funny when the segment "Girls on the Grill" comes on, Karl starts with a "Good morning to you Lisa and Georgie" yet they have all been talking and sitting together since 5.30am and the segment is at 8.30am

And I shall leave my Today discussions there.

* I don't know whether he was actually wishing that, but it sure looked like it.

Blogging on the go

2011-08-01T19:59:00.001+10:00

Now have installed Blogger on my phone. More silly typing on this touch pad.
Sitting here watching Masterchef, once again frustrating the hell out of me. None of them have ever skinned a chook before, but they only give them the bare basic time. Why why why?
I was talking to Jamie yesterday asking about this conflict that "they" say is necessary in reality shows. Who wants conflict? Who wants this stupid pressure? Not me, I'd rather see them do it well and see how to cook the dishes rather than super complicated food.

Today's cooking.

2011-08-01T10:33:00.004+10:00

I'm making Beef Stroganoff for dinner (minus the mushrooms).
Dessert is going to be some sort of apple puff/turnover, need to find a recipe for it.

I played secretary for MyNetHost this morning, two of our clients needed some help, so I did phone support and got them through it. Very satisfying that. It also baffles me in this day and age that I rang a client and they gave me their credit card number no questions asked. I still have it written in front of me. If I was another person (ie my evil twin or just plain criminal) I could do some online shopping.

Babies are both asleep. Neither really napped at all yesterday, so I am looking forward to a peaceful day.

I was sick overnight, that was yuck. All better now.

A week in the life.

2011-07-29T16:50:00.003+10:00

I'm starting this on Monday!
The idea/suggestion came from here.

The idea is to write down the nitty gritty of day to day life to document it.
Although my life is quite mundane, it'll be interesting in years to come to look back at how I survived the two under two phase (with a teenager).

So I'm putting my *memory joggers* in a display folder with my camera and I'll document it all on here too. Yay, that should be exciting.

Coffee.

2011-07-29T13:02:00.003+10:00

We have a Caramali coffee machine. Its pretty awesome and Jamie makes great coffee out of it, (I'm still learning).
Last week whilst it was heating up, there was an awful smell. Plastic melting or something like that. No smoke, so we checked out our downlights but alas, it was the poor coffee machine.
It has since been pulled apart, de-scaled and is currently soaking in hydrochloric acid (eek). Having a LOT of trouble to source the offending part that melted, but in the mean time its getting clean and hopefully put back together.

Post Script.

2011-07-28T11:09:00.003+10:00

We've relented a little.

Bed and nappy change ONLY for the dummy.

He has been pretty good with that.

He is a little bit little to be stopping completely at this stage.

**********

I had the best evening with Ryan yesterday. We played "kick to kick" for about half an hour. We had cuddles. He was clearly indicating what he wanted.. alas no words, but I knew what he was after.

The tale of the dummy.

2011-07-26T21:19:00.006+10:00

Our dummies (or pacifiers) have always been blue, but this has been the saviour for the past 20 months of our lives. Not just Ryan, but Jamie, Mark and I as well.

Mark never took a dummy. So many of my friends say it too... I'm hearing that phrase belong to first born, healthy children. We have time to rock them to sleep, other "stuff" isn't as important.

Ryan's first day was in NICU (yes only his first day, but the dummy addiction started then). NICU give babies dummies. So from day one he had the blue thing stuck in his mouth. He has had it on a chain (for some reason I call it a dummy catcher), attached to his top 24 hours a day. Over the past 4 months, I guess from just before Ben was born, we started to give it only to him in bed. Take it off him when he got up. But often the little tyke would sneak back into his room, reach into his cot and retrieve the dummy. Two hours later... "where the heck did that thing come from?"

Then Ben was born, Ryan's little life was turned upside down, so I relented and let him have the dummy. The molar teething started, and I relented. Then he got a cold and I relented. Then I just couldn't be bothered, so I relented.

The addiction was entrenched.

Then in the past three weeks, he's been losing it. Taking it off of his own volition. This has been VERY painful, as the latest dummy was essentially clear and difficult to find. He would take the chain off when having a drink, dropping it "wherever". Tossing it when he got angry *which is frequent. The last straw was the biting. He bit holes in the teat, therefore making it a choking hazzard. I've had to buy several new dummies recently due to holes. At $5 a pop, I wasn't going to make a habit of it.

Tonight - 26 July 2011 he bit a hole and then chewed until the teat came off. He looked quite proud of himself. Jamie said "Ok, that's it, dummy is gone" I have to agree, its embarrassing to go out with a toddler who has a dummy. So we prepared. We talked to him, reassured him that although his safety net was gone, that we would still be here and he can go to sleep without it.

He SCREAMED, no make that S---C---R---E---A---M---E---D for a full hour. Threw his blankets away, threw Roger bear away, threw B1 away. Thrashed around the bed. I consoled him, Jamie consoled him. We gave him a drink, then he started screaming again, Jamie went back in, he'd done a big poo. Once cleaned, he lay down calmly with Roger under the blankets and actually drifted off to sleep. He's been asleep for 70 minutes now and I haven't heard a peep out of him. Maybe when he wakes up, he'll be sad. Tomorrow will be another challenge, but its nice to know it can be done - its his first time EVER!

Oh no, I think I could be pregnant!

2011-07-22T22:14:00.003+10:00

Well I did just clean the kitchen.

I even lifted everything off the top of the microwave.

There can be no other reason.

I forgot to take my camera yesterday. Hopeless.

Another TV rant:
Why the heck are there three renovation shows on the telly at the moment. Two of them are on the same channel. It makes no sense. Two appear to be completely identical.
The Block on NBN
The Renovators on channel 10
Top Design also on NBN
Madness. Stupid challenges to make "twists and turns" rather than showing people how to renovate. Like I said with Masterchef, use some editing and allow people to do a good job. Completing a dodgy renovation in 24 hrs is silly. Do a good one and take at least a week. What is wrong with quality work rather than speed.

Photos.

2011-07-21T10:58:00.004+10:00

I want to do this in my house! Thank you Apartment Therapy for this idea.

I need to print out some photos and make a cool wall. Our house in Melbourne has a black tiled wall in the entrance that is a little bit retro, maybe it could go there. The other idea is if we block off the office/dining room it will make a HUGE wall in the lounge room that could do with a lovely massive piece like that.

Gloria Jeans

2011-07-21T10:55:00.002+10:00

I'm going for coffee with Mrs McLennan today. I'm going to take my camera and take some photos cos that's what the cool kids do!

Curries

2011-07-20T22:46:00.004+10:00

As a family we are getting mighty addicted to curries. Makes it hard when one of the eating members of the family is a toddler.

Jamie loves his vindaloo... dont' know if he really loves it, or loves the idea of it. I made one from a supermarket vindaloo paste and was told it wasn't right. So I suggested he throw it out, oh the flavour is right, just not hot enough! Surely the flavour is more important and the pain of excess heat is not necessary.

Mark and I are loving butter chicken, had it from a jar tonight and in a word - yuck.

Tonight's vindaloo was made from scratch, I used the mortar and pestle for the first time, he said the heat was "just about right", the flavour was right but the colour wasn't the same as in the shop. One day I'll get it right.

Must attempt the butter chicken from scratch next.

Tomorrow I'm making Margaret Fulton's Meatloaf, which we had at mum's house and it was super delicious.

It must be hard to be a teenager.

2011-07-20T16:15:00.003+10:00

I'll admit it, I've just been snooping on Mark's Facebook page. He no longer uses it, but its interesting to see what the "kids" are up to. To be honest, its tragic. Desperation in their posts.

Like this if you think I'm hot,
inbox me,
would you go to my funeral.
The mild cyber bullying,
lots of name calling and
those cryptic posts which also cry desperation, can someone please ask what I'm talking about.
Kids who are not yet 13 declaring undying love.
You've scarred my heart.
Bragging about wagging school (apparently its called whopping now)
Bragging about being in detention!

Reading that, I know I've got a good boy. He runs a little hot and cold, he sometimes doesn't listen good enough. But he's exactly where I know him to be, he isn't obsessed by oversexed girls. I saw one photo that was bordering on a sexting photo. I don't want him to grow up, but I know he will.

Masterchef

2011-07-20T11:47:00.003+10:00

I have a strange relationship with this show. I want to like it. I watched the first season with a passion - recorded every ep for when I was on arvo shift. But then wasn't able to watch the final week because we were on a ski holiday and the house only had Foxtel!! So three months of solid viewing to be robbed of the last week.

I didn't watch Celebrity MC because it didn't interest me. Same for Junior MC. Same for series 2. But I wanted to watch this one. Even made a Facebook critique group.

But 7.30 is a bad time for me, channel 10 no longer works in our kitchen where I'm trying to clear up after dinner. Mark has an xbox, so he's in the lounge room where channel 10 does work.

But two weeks with my mum in Melbourne and I got hooked. It was New York week. But it was stupid. One of the challenges was making a 3 course meal, but they had to do a treasure hunt to find what the recipe was within Times Square, then make their way to that restaurant, then to the Four Seasons Restaurant, then cook a very intricate dish all within 3.5hrs. Another challenge was Harlem Soul food that they had to reproduce within a ridiculous time limit and were not given recipes. If someone told me to cook "collared greens" or "gumbo" after one taste I'd be screwed. And I'm 10-15 years older (ie more life experience) than most of the contestants.

Why give them time limits, make it you have a day (like real chefs do - they prepare in the morning, cook at the time) and the producers can do their thing and EDIT the footage. There is no reason that anyone should have undercooked chicken because they spent most of their time peeling potatoes.

In the soul food episode they should have shown us how to make the roux for the Mac & Cheese. Where are the recipes?
Fried chicken, someone should talk us through it.
Ribs... what was in the sauce?

Frustrating!

Food

2011-07-19T20:19:00.003+10:00

Have I talked about food recently?

I haven't actually posted recently, so that'd be a no.

I'm roasting some chicken pieces for Mark's sandwiches. A lot of effort for sangas. But to buy a precooked chook is $10 and I got 2kg of frozen chicken pieces for $10
Tonight I shall roast, tomorrow I shall turn them into sandwiches. That being said, I should rescue the bread from the freezer.

I also want to make some vegetable muffins.

The spice mix for my beef vindaloo that Jamie is having.

Also need to make an alternative meal for the rest of us, damnit, should have bought the pork.

Also have choc chip cookies on the menu (to be made).

Off the computer and back to the kitchen.

Illness & Injury

2011-07-03T11:29:00.003+10:00

We've not been "right" this week.

Firstly Ryan:
We went to playgroup, there is an outside section with a kids roller coaster (if you have a big back yard, this would be awesome). Ryan loved it, he kept indicating more, I finally got him off it and busied him with something else, but then a little girl hopped on the car. Ryan ran over, tripped on a tricycle and landed on his nose, we have a graze! Later in the day, I picked him up and collided chin with thumbnail and we have a graze! Two days later, other side of the chin collided with my thumbnail and we have a graze!

Mark:
Nothing to report. Just normal puberty stuff and a sore foot. I think that new footy boots might be in order and some good fitting runners. That kid is growing like crazy.

Ben:
He's just delightful in every way. He's so friendly.

Jamie:
Nothing to report.

Me:
As I have talked about previously here, I injured my breast, had some attachment issues and therefore have had a lot of pain. I have been expressing my milk, and all week have been feeling like I was going to get a cold / flu, but it never eventuated. I called the Breast Feeding Support Line yesterday and she felt that might have an infection... after talking about it to 7 different people (Jamie, Mum, Breast feeding lady, receptionist and nurse on the phone of GP Access, nurse at GP access and finally the doctor) I have been given antibiotics and hopefully will feel better soon. So this morning Ben had his first top up feed of formula and took to it so well. The can states for 2-4 month old make up 180ml of formula, I can express 80ml. OMG that is a huge difference.

Must start packing for Melbourne! Leaving between 4 and 6 tomorrow morning.

30 Day Music Challenge

2011-07-01T20:38:00.007+10:00

This is a challenge set down by *someone* on Facebook. I've been enjoying other people's music picks, so decided to do it myself. I have found it quite challenging, due to my crappy memory. So have decided to put some effort into it tonight and come up with the lot - that'll make it easier when I'm in Melbourne on my holiday!

day 01 - your favorite song
Lola by The Kinks This is my standard answer to all "what is your favourite song" questions, but truth be told, ever since I made it my ringtone for about a year... well it doesn't hold the same appeal.

day 02 - your least favorite song
TNT by AC/DC - I don't necessarily hate this particular song, but the way its played at my house. Jamie and Mark play it very loud, and often several times over. I feel they think its a boy song, so as boys they must like it. Which stands to reason that I'm a girl, so I must dislike it.

day 03 - a song that makes you happy
The Circle of Life from The Lion King. This reminds me of Mark's toddlerhood. We saw this in imax, stage show and it makes me all goosey.

day 04 - a song that makes you sad
Ironic by Alanis Morrissette. This one (again) doesn't make me sad per se, but is my "go to" some when feeling sad. Yes its pathetic and obvious, but it was played over and over when I broke up with "the first boyfriend" hahaha, so glad we didn't get married like we had planned.

day 05 - a song that reminds you of someone.
Jolene by Dolly Parton. This one is a little stupid and quite topical. My sisters name is Jocelyn Geary and we call her Jo, so Jolene is sort of like Jo. When I asked Jo to come to the Dolly Parton concert, she said only if she sings "Jolene"

day 06 - a song that reminds you of somewhere
Tomorrow by Silverchair. This reminds me of Torquay in 1997. I went to a music festival that changed the course of my life.

day 07 - a song that reminds you of a certain event
Halo Theme Song - this one reminds me of the Boeing Strike that my family was a part of back in 2006. We had a little community all set up and most evenings were spent playing Halo on the linked XBOXs. Of course I didn't play (I can't do video games) but the blokes and the kids sure played it.

day 08 - a song that you know all the words to
You are my sunshine. This is the song I sing to my children. Started off (obviously) with Mark, and felt quite guilty when I sang it to Sheena when she was a baby, felt like I was cheating on Mark. Now I sing it to all three of them and frequently change the words to make it more appropriate for three kids.

day 09 - a song that you can dance to
Telephone by Lady Gaga. For self explanatory reasons... I'm NOT a good dancer.

day 10 - a song that makes you fall asleep
Yellow by Coldplay. Its just so awful, boring and depressing.

day 11 - a song from your favorite band
No Apology by Bon Jovi. I really really like this new song. Jon is still beautiful, I love his voice, I love their show. I'm a die hard fan!

day 12 - a song from a band you hate
Beautiful by Christina Aguilera - Its a nice song, but I can't stand her plastic-ness. She doesn't look like a real person, I dislike warbly singing, eyes closed and hands out in front. ICKY.

day 13 - a song that is a guilty pleasure
Blow by Ke$ha - she's so trashy, but I LOVE this song, I love the film clip especially that Dawson is in it (not a fan of the unicorns though).

day 14 - a song that no one would expect you to love
Bad Romance by Lady Gaga. Mainly because I love singing it.

day 15 - a song that describes you
She'll be coming round the mountain. In the version I know, the second verse is "She'll be wearing pink pyjamas when she comes" and I always wear pink pyjamas. I found this one very hard.

day 16 - a song that you used to love but now hate
Sex is on Fire - Kings of Leon. The radio played it far too much and killed it for me.

day 17 - a song that you hear often on the radio
Cows with Guns by Dana Lyons. I listen to the ABC! Every so often they play this as a comedy song. I love it!

day 18 - a song that you wish you heard on the radio
Party Anthem - LMAFO. Same verse same as the first. I listen to the ABC, they don't play this type of music, need to switch to commercial radio and then I'd be well and truly over it. Everybody's shufflin'

day 19 - a song from your favorite album
You Give Love a Bad Name - Bon Jovi. Slippery when Wet was one of my first full band albums that I bought. I can still almost sing along completely.

day 20 - a song that you listen to when you’re angry
I don't tend to listen to music when I'm angry. Will keep thinking. I could be typical and chose a song with violent lyrics and one I happen to like. Killing in the Name of by Rage Against the Machine. We listened to this LOUD when Mark was in about year 2 at school and he was horrified, now he likes it too.

day 21 - a song that you listen to when you’re happy
So What by Pink. She's just so cool.

day 22 - a song that you listen to when you’re sad
You Oughta Know by Alanis Morrissette. Hmm. Need to get some other melancholy music. I never plan to break up again, so need advice on general sad songs not relationship sad.

day 23 - a song that you want to play at your wedding
As I'm already married, we did it in a registry office. No music. BUT should we renew our vows.... Throw Your Arms around me by Hunters and Collectors. Its a bit cliche, but I'm cliche. I adore this song.

day 24 - a song that you want to play at your funeral
Its my life by Bon Jovi. That is what I have as my "about me" on my Facebook wall, "I'm a chronic status updater... sorry to those not interested in my life. Its really not that interesting, but in the words of Jon Bon Jovi... "Its my life" But I don't know the lyrics - but I like the title.

day 25 - a song that makes you laugh
White and Nerdy by Weird Al Yankovic. I think he's just hilarious, very very clever. I like his Amish Paradise song too.

day 26 - a song that you can play on an instrument
That'd be nada.

day 27 - a song that you wish you could play
Chopsticks. As I can't play music.. isn't that what people start with???

day 28 - a song that makes you feel guilty
Family Portrait by Pink. I feel guilty (in a way) that I have such a great life. So many people have been hurt and abused by their family, I'm so lucky that my family is awesome.

day 29 - a song from your childhood
Take on Me by A-Ha. I remember this being on the first songs that was "grown up" that I actually liked. Had a crush on Morten as we all did ;)

day 30 - your favorite song at this time last year
Telephone by Lady Gaga - my only repeat!

Against the rules.

2011-07-01T16:57:00.005+10:00

Baking rules, or baking blog rules. Everyone raves about Swiss Meringue Butter Cream icing. But I can't stand it. We put it on the rainbow cake that Connie and I made for Jamie's birthday, and I thought it was awful.

I will never make it again, so much more effort than normal butter cream icing. I make a really good butter, milk and icing sugar icing that I will stick with that. One day I'm going to take a course in cake decorating so I can learn to do piping, but until then, my RUSTIC look will have to suffice.

This rainbow cake is so much easier to make than it looks. It takes time, its messy and requires quite a bit of space, but its worth it for the WOW factor that's for sure. I borrowed the recipe from the Whisk Kid, ours again is a bit more rustic, but as I didn't like the icing, I'm sure glad we didn't use as much as the Whisk Kid did!

Frustration.

2011-06-30T12:30:00.004+10:00

Oh dear, this seems to be the third time I've written about frustrating situations.

#1. Ryan opening stuff he shouldn't! Well he's a toddler, just have to say no and wait this one out.

#2 Mark doesn't look after himself well enough. He has acne at the moment, he won't Proactiv twice a day as recommended, he won't drink water, he wants energy drinks (the young teen version of alcohol) and McDonald's.

#3. Freaking tenant. I'll leave it at that!

#4. Overwhelming hunger and fatigue. I can't get stuff done, routines are not happening. I'm hungry all the time.

#5 Breastfeeding is very painful at the moment. Quite frightened about the next feed.

#6. I wish I could renovate.

-----------------------------------

A thought that popped into my head which is only slightly related to point number six. The Block is a show putting 4 couples against each other to renovate a house each. One would think the show is about renovations and design... but no. In true reality show stunts its all about creating conflict and stupid games. An entire episode was them running around the sponsors stores looking for little red houses. How am I supposed to learn about renovation if this is what they dish up???

Messes

2011-06-28T14:09:00.006+10:00

I know, two posts in two minutes is a little stupid, but I must write these down before I forget. Yesterday was a momentous day in Ryan's life.

#1 HUGE temper tantrum at Jesmond Park. He learned how to twist and project himself over the edge of the pram and SCREAM at the top of his lungs as he wasn't ready to leave the playground. It looked so dangerous the way he was leaning over the pram. He also played a bit in the tanbark dirt and thoroughly enjoyed himself.

#2. I'm letting him have a little more independence, letting him walk from the car to the house by himself. He doesn't go onto the road, he gets up the steps pretty easy. Yesterday he decided to "help" by carrying the empty oil tray to the porch.

The picture above is an empty oil drip tray, but ours does not look like that, ours has dirty, sticky, thick, gluggy, BLACK oil all over it. And that was the tray that Ryan thought would be better moved to the front porch. If I was a good mother, I would have taken a photo, but I put him straight in the bath. Lots of soap later and clothes tossed in the bin, I had a clean boy again. (For the record, he does not like the taste of soap, but must keep checking to make sure)

#3. Later that same day, Mark starts screaming, Mum come quick its an emergency. I was feeding Ben, so was stuck, but Jamie intercepted Mark in the kitchen with Ryan held at arms length. He had gotten into a jar of Sudocrem.

Which I'm currently using on his junior tushie as he's got a mild dose of nappy rash b/c of teething. It is also very thick, sticky and doesn't wipe off easily. Ryan is aware (somehow) that this is nappy rash cream, so he gets it on his finger and wipes it on the side of his leg. I know this because he got a tube of this cream once when I was changing him and as he kept still whilst putting a tiny bit on his finger and wiping it on his leg, I let it continue. BUT this time, it was a huge handful and all over his hand, tracksuit pants,t-shirt arm and face. Emergency strip. Again, we were bad parents and forgot the photo.

Yesterday was a messy day.

Weddings.

2011-06-28T13:54:00.005+10:00

I'm sitting here watching "The View" and they are having a wedding special at the moment. Yesterday there was a funny Facebook discussion about weddings and bridesmaids. Which got me thinking about my wedding/marriage.

Jamie and I have been married now for 20 months. We got married at the registry office, only witnessed by the Drane family. I don't regret for a second the way we did it, but do wish our families had have been there.

I never EVER dreamed of a big white fluffy wedding. From early days of thinking about being married it turned my stomach. I didn't like the idea of being the centre of attention, I had a major blushing issue, I can't dance, and the kicker, I take a horrible photo (ie I look dreadful in photos)

I think the main reason Jamie and I took so long to get married was the thought of a wedding. Neither of us liked the idea of it. He's MUCH worse than me for centre of attention issues.

We were very lucky that both of our sisters did the "Big White Wedding". Jocelyn got our side of the family done, Connie did Jamie's side. The aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents all got to see what they needed to see. Ours was not necessary.

We had been together for 9 years, living together for 8. We already had Mark and Ryan was on the way. We didn't need gifts, we don't like parties all that much. We were very happy with our super low key registry office marriage.

When we are about 50, Mark will be 25, Ryan will be 13 and Ben will be 12, I think we can have a second wedding then with all the bells and whistles. We'll be happier in our own skin, it'll be fun. Maybe even do it in Fiji.

CHOCOLATE

2011-06-26T22:10:00.005+10:00

Lucky you can't see the toddlers face up close.
Toby and Ryan were given hot chocolates and Jamie makes them the way he'd have them, if he were to drink a hot chocolate. With HEAPS of chocolate. I'm not sure 1.5 and 2 year old boys need that much choc in their hot choc, but if Jamie is a making, I'm a not complaining.

Which reminds me of primary school. Every Wednesday was netball training night, Jocelyn and I went to Clare Owen's house and her mum took us to training (or so I think), we always had afternoon tea there, it was something healthy and a glass of chocolate milk. A middle sized glass with one teaspoon of Quik mixed in. Yes that's right, only one teaspoon, it was never chocolately enough for me. Which is probably why I overdose on Quik now, and why I'm overweight!

Here is a picture of relaxing Ben for your viewing pleasure.

It had to happen.

2011-06-26T12:23:00.004+10:00

I got some new lipstick. A beautiful bright red from Nutrimetics, I've always wanted red, so it was on sale, so I got it.

My problem is... looking in the mirror, all I see is my mother. This is not necessarily a bad thing. I think my mother is a nice looking woman...

For 73.

Does this have to happen????

Stacks on.

2011-06-26T12:14:00.001+10:00

I'm sure this will be the first of many many of these.
Stacks on Mark.

Concentrating

2011-06-25T22:21:00.003+10:00

From what I said a few nights ago, I put a notepad app on my phone for when I get ideas for blog posts, so I don't forget what they are.

#1 Tennis:
Wimbledon has started, its on overnight here in Australia, so if I'm giving Ben a feed overnight, I might put it on. My issue with tennis is serving, their job - their entire job - is hitting a ball over a net. Why do they miss the first serve x% of the time? I'm not entirely sure what x equals, but its high. It is so high that they always take two balls when they are serving. The girls tuck the tennis ball into their undies and try to serve. I think I've just answered my question. The reason they have a fault on the first serve is the fact they have a tennis ball in their undies. The second serve usually goes in, that is because the tennis ball is in their hand and no longer tucked into their undies. So why don't they plan to get the first serve in (not plan for failure by taking two balls), and if they need the second ball, ask a ball kid for one. Ok that is sorted.

#2 is also from my overnight television viewing. From 3:30am, Good Morning America is on. I love this show almost as much as I love the Today show, they have a similar banter. At the moment there is a huge court case of a murder of a young girl in Florida, Caylee Anthony. They are having daily updates about this court case, the mother is on trial for murdering her daughter she is a young woman (born in 1986), reasonably attractive and has a very very strange story as to why her daughter went missing etc. As is sometimes the case, its captured the interest of LOTS of people. One woman I seemed to recognise, she was a character on Boston Legal, well I thought she was a character, until I saw her on Good Morning America. She is a legal commentor called Nancy Grace. I was very very surprised to see she is a real person and the way she was shown on Boston Legal was exactly the same as on GMA.

Thinking...

2011-06-24T20:09:00.003+10:00

I want to visit my parents. I'm getting quite keen to do this soonish.

Next week is the last week of school for this term. Mark is going down to Melbourne for the holidays, he's flying down with Jetstar. Now my thoughts are that we change the flight, so the boys and I drive down, Jamie flies down on the middle weekend. Then the boys and I drive back.

I think it is a goer.

Need to convince everyone that this is a good idea.

I am older than I think I am.

2011-06-22T13:30:00.003+10:00

I am amazed that I will be 38 years old in 3 months time. That is the age of a mom (yes I must use the American spelling of that, cos 38 is mom-ish).

What???

I am a mum????

Oh yeah, I forgot, I am mother to three boys and one of them is 13 years old.

I wore my favourite duffle coat the other day, every time I wear it I recall how I got it. My boyfriend at the time's step-mother gave it to me as she didn't want it any more. That was 20 years ago. I was given a second hand coat twenty years ago. That BLOWS my mind.

I've been out of high school for 20 years. I don't feel any different.

I still feel that Jamie and I are playing dress ups and our parents are going to tell us to come home.

We have control over the lives of our boys. I have to make decisions that will affect them for ever. Is Mark's playing of Modern Combat 2 going to turn him into a violent criminal and at his trial the prosecution lawyer will say, "his mother let him play M rated games, it was inevitable."

I was talking to Dee on the weekend and her reasoning behind letting 12/13 year old boys play violent video games is that back in our day, Rambo was meant to turn us all into killers, back in ancient Rome, they went to gladiator matches. That famous quote of Socrates shows that kids have always been defiant and should turn out ok

"Our youth now love luxury. They have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for their elders and love chatter in place of exercise; they no longer rise when elders enter the room; they contradict their parents, chatter before company; gobble up their food and tyrannize their teachers."

Growing up.

2011-06-22T11:57:00.003+10:00

My little man is growing up so much. I can ask him to bring me his socks and will let me put them on.
He lets me know when he's thirsty by pointing to his cup (ok ok, its still his bottle, but we'll move to a cup soon, don't harass me)
When he is given something to eat or drink, he;ll plonk himself down on the floor and wait. Oh and then jumps straight up, but you get the picture.

Problem area is changing the nappy! I know this is a common problem. He won't lie down, he won't be held down. I put him on his back, hold his ankles and then I feel I'll give him a spiral fracture of his leg bones the way he twists and turns. Very frustrating... any tips??

So frustrating.

2011-06-21T10:49:00.003+10:00

I really need to carry a notebook with me, especially to the shower. I have all these excellent ideas for blog posts through the night and in the shower, and when I get to sit at the computer, I have nothing, not a single idea.

Little boys are sick. I really wanted to go back to playgroup today, but alas, snotty noses make me stay inside. The BOM says very strong winds coming this afternoon eeek.

Cooking some brownies today. Making one (or two) batches of pumpkin/choc brownies, so had better make plain choc as well.

Injury

2011-06-20T11:39:00.008+10:00

Not saying where, but when I was dressing myself today, I scratched a certain part of my body with my engagement ring. No blood was drawn, but this part is getting a real work out for the last couple of months and an injury there is not good. Still hurts an hour later....

Sunday wrap up

2011-06-19T21:09:00.001+10:00

Friday was Jamie’s usual day at home. We went to Glendale to pay the tax bill. Now that’s an interesting story. Jamie does his tax late each year, I have no idea why, its one of his quirks. So we have this tax bill, mine is a refund, so it would make sense to do them at the same time, my refund pays his bill… oh well. So Friday I decide to pay the bills. The one for the tax department is there, I look for the POSTBILLPAY code, there is none. There is no website address for paying by credit card. You can not pay your tax bill by credit card, it is not allowed! I did a Facebook update about this to get people’s responses. They ranged from “just to make life difficult” to “you need to pay your taxes with your own money”. In theory I get that, I really do. But Jamie and I have worked our life that our pay stays in the bank for as long as possible to reduce the interest on our home loan. We pay everything by credit card and pay it off in full each month. This has worked for us, it worked for my parents too. Frustrating is the word for it.

I also bought a game. An XBOX game. This is not something that I normally do. I have never had a electronic game (other than my Farmville). I have NEVER played an electronic game. I didn’t realise how much I really didn’t know how to use the controller. When I put the game in (LA Noire for those who want to know), the story was introduced and then a crime was called in and my character had to drive to the crime scene. So I waited for my dude on the screen to go to the crime scene… oops I had to drive the car and take him there. I don’t know how to drive using an Xbox controller. I had to call Jamie in, he taught me and I drove very badly. I think I may have run people over and had several crashes. I got a headache quite quickly, so made Jamie control the game and I told him where I wanted him to go. We have not gotten very far so far.

Mark went to his friends house for the night. The little boys are getting colds and are actually not very happy people. Football was cancelled due to the rain through the week. Flooding inland and to the north of us, but a LOT of rain here. Most the land surrounding us to swamp lands, so it becomes sodden very quickly.

The boat is getting closer to being able to float again, Jamie installed the transom (that is ‘boating’ for back) that for some reason needed replacing.

LIST - a-z.

2011-06-18T15:37:00.002+10:00

- Available: No.

- Age: 37

- Annoyance: No one helping around the house

- Animal: My dogs, but am NOT an animal lover.

- Birthday: 17 September

- Best feeling in the world: Motherhood - is that a feeling though? I do like satisfaction of a job well done.

- Blind or Deaf: Deaf, I think.

- Best weather: 22 deg and a little cloud cover.

- Been in Love: Yep

- Been on stage?: Year 9 play at school, got to hit Reece Brownhill over the head.

- Believe in Magic: Nope

- Believe in Santa: Nope

- Candy: Chocolate

- Color: Pink

- Chocolate/Vanilla: Chocolate

- Chinese/Mexican Food: Mexican

- Cake or pie: Cake

- Cheese: Not a huge fan, but do like a good cheese toastie when the cheese oozes out the side.

- Day or Night: Night

- Dancing in the rain: Hmm, don't think so.

- Eyes: 2.. haha green.

- Everyone's got: umm....

- Ever failed a class?: No, but did get an E for small business, maybe I should tell Jamie about that, might not let me do the books for his business.

- First thoughts waking up: Has Jamie wagged work today?

- Favorite Food: Chocolate

- Greatest Fear: Mice and bridges

- - Goals: To be a happy SAHM.

- Gum: Love it whilst it still has flavour.

Get along with your parents? Sure do.

- Hair Color: brown, with a few grey strands.

- Height: 165cm... shorter than Mark

- Happy: 80% of the time.

- Holiday: I would love one, want to go to America.

- How do you want to die: In my sleep of old age.

- Ice Cream: Yes please... oh chocolate

- Instrument: I have zero musical ability.

- Jewelry: My wedding and engagement rings, a gold necklace that Jamie got me and my gold bracelet that I have no idea who gave me, but have worn it for all of Ben's life so far... found it on the mantelpiece and haven't taken it off yet.

- Job: Registered Nurse on maternity leave.

- Kids: I love this answer, I have three boys.

- Kickboxing or karate: Neither thanks.

- Keep a journal?: This blog and my facebook. But nothing on paper

- Love: I love the men in my life: Jamie, Mark, Ryan and Ben. I adore my mum too.

- Letter: M - for Mark, as my eldest he and his name hold a special place in my heart.

- Laughed so hard you cried: Hmm... not sure, but I guess so.

- Milk flavor: Chocolate (sensing a pattern)

- Movies: Not a huge fan, I prefer a good hour long tv show in preference to a movie

- Motion sickness?: Nope.

- McD’s or BK: Maccas chick I am.

- Number: Who cares... 17

- One wish: To have enough money not to have to work and Jamie be happy in what he's doing.

- Pepsi/Coke: Coke Zero

- Perfect Pizza: Tony Pepperoni

- Piercings:

- Quail:

- Reason to cry:

- Reality T.V.:

- Radio Station:

- Roll your tongue in a circle:

- Ring size:

- Song:

- Shoe size

- Salad Dressing:

- Sushi:

- Skinny dipped?:

- Shower?:

- Strawberries/Blueberries:

- Tattoos?:

- Time for bed:

- Thunderstorms:

- Unpredictable:

- Vacation spot(s):

- Weakness:

- Which one of your friends acts the most like you:

- Worst feeling:

- Wanted to be a model:

- Worst Weather?:

- X-Rays:

-Year it is now:

-Yellow:

- Zoo animal:

READING.

2011-06-17T19:45:00.004+10:00

I used to read. I used to always have a book at my bedside that I read for about half an hour (sometimes all night) every day. When I caught the train (OMG that was so long ago) I read on the train. But I stopped reading when I was pregnant with Ryan, not sure why and then when he was 4 months old, I got myself an iPhone! I have not read since. Actually I have read one book, but that is all. I play games on my phone, now I've got a new smart phone with different games, I'm still not reading.

About a week ago, I asked my Facebook community for reading suggestions, and suggest they did.

James Patterson
Kelley Armstrong
Patricia Briggs
Christopher Moore
Matthew Riley
Nelson Demille
Tina Fey
Stephanie Plum
Chelsea Handler
Lee Child
Kathy Reichs
Tess Gerrison
Bill Bryson
Patricia Cornwall
and
Anonymums
Tomorrow when the war began
There's a bear in there
(They don't know the authors of those ones).

I finally remembered that I posted that comment, so am planning on going to the library tomorrow to get me some books.

FOOD

2011-06-15T23:00:00.002+10:00

Food is becoming like an obsession. I can't stop thinking about it.

I menu planned tonight as I did an online shop, so need super plan to make it worthwhile. For some reason, I don't put that much effort into a physical shop, but one does not have to make sense, does one?

Tomorrow night a family sized meat pit that I found here
Friday is a slow cooked chicken curry that my friend Manola suggested
Saturday will be a risotto of some description
Sunday will be a roast of beef with all the trimmings (should I attempt a Yorkshire Pudding that I've always wanted to try??)
Monday will be steak and veg
Tuesday is savoury mince - something easy for Jamie as he ducks out to indoor cricket
Wednesday will be any left overs that are left over.

I attempted cake pops. I failed cake pops. Not enough cake, too much icing, too fiddly to roll in melted chocolate and the cook had NO patience. That is why I am not a decorator of cakes, happy to bake and simply ice, but not decorate. To be honest, I don't actually like the cake balls (I didn't put sticks in them, so they are not pops).

Now for a little rant about cake pops - they were made "famous" by a blogger/website called bakerella. I have nothing personally against this woman, she's actually quite ill, having a kidney transplant possibly as we speak. I think it would have been particualrly awesome to be her dialysis nurse, imagine the goodies! Getting back on track, her site is called 'BAKERELLA', which would infer she is a baker. So I went to her site to learn how to make these cake pops... the recipe was:
Packed chocolate cake, cook as her directions.
Tinned frosting.
Mix together and then blah blah blah.
Bakerella should be making cake from scratch. She should rename her site to a more appropriate decoraterella.com - phew, that has been on my mind for quite some time, feels good to get it off my chest.

Mama's little helper.

2011-06-14T12:40:00.002+10:00

No, its not Valium.

Its my angel, Ryan*. He's my assistant when it comes to Ben*.

Ryan will let me know when Ben is awake, he toddles off to his room when he cries.
If Ben is lying on the floor, Ryan will find a blankie and place it over him.
He will always ensure is dummy is firmly in Ben's mouth (at all times), then will pull it out, laugh and then replace it, sometimes 5 times in a row.
He will pat Ben on the tummy when he is crying. Yesterday when I was burping Ben, he was still crying quite a bit, Ryan appeared and patted him on the back.

One morning just after Ryan woke up, he was wandering around this house and then appeared with two of Ben's dummies, I think he may have taken one out of the cot!

Ryan likes to remind me when the cupboard locks are not done up. He will stand next to the cupboard and make his sound "neh neh" whilst holding the lock. Often he won't even open the cupboard, but lets me know that he could.

* I'm over using their names, because if I wrote "he did that to him" it would be hard to know who I'm talking about. Oh and to remind me, too many names in this house.

Goals

2011-06-09T16:39:00.002+10:00

Blogs in the bloggisphere are all about goals ATM. So what shall mine be...

1. Keep washing up to date (ooh that is exciting)
2. Go to a park with the boys at least once a week.
3. Have a picnic on a weekend.
4. Be house proud, have it the way it looks when extended family are in town.
5. Read to the little boys daily, and encourage older boy to read.

Happy with that, achievable and reasonable, but not very exciting.

Hair cut

2011-06-09T13:36:00.002+10:00

A few weeks ago Ryan had a haircut. It is awful. Looks like I did it myself and badly. I hate saying that we paid for the terrible haircut (but its better that than people thinking I butchered my own gorgeous son). Poor kid at 18 months is having hairspray and wax put in his hair to make it go to the side.

Today, I went to a hairdresser to ask if she could fix it. Answer: NO.

Cute stuff from my middle angel.

2011-06-09T10:19:00.002+10:00

Ryan is cute. There is no doubt about it. Even when he's hysterical he's cute.

This morning is COLD. Its cold for Newcastle, I think its even cold for Melbourne, its spring for Nova Scotia!

Getting back to being cold. We're trying to save money, so am not using the heater very much at all, so that being said, our house is COLD.

Little teeny boys are cold too. Especially one who pulls off his socks for sport. Ryan's hands and feet were blue, so I was due to have a shower, so I thought a hot shower would warm him up too. In we hopped and he loved it, looking at the water falling from the shower head. After a little while, he became a bit heavier. He put his head on my chest and snuggled in. He didn't fall asleep, but almost. I then popped him to bed and he's been asleep since.

Ryan is a morning sleeper. Our routine is as follows:
5ish for a drink of milk, which I give him in bed and he goes back to sleep
7-7:30 wake up, Mark brings him in to me for a cuddle
8 breakfast then play
9:30 desperate to go back to sleep. Often becomes whingy or throws a tantrum.
11-2:30 wake up (yes this is correct, yesterday he went to bed at 9:15am and woke up about 2:30pm)
Lunch on wake up
4ish has a "time out" in his bed for about half an hour. This gives him quiet time, he doesn't usually fall asleep, but does sometimes.
5:30-6 is dinner
6:30 bath
7-7:30 is bed time

I thought i would do a grocery shop this morning as I really REALLY need eggs for Mark's birthday cake, but will now have to wait until Ryo wakes up.

Cuteness #2, I asked Ryan for one of Ben's nappies, he ignored me when I needed it. About half an hour later, he arrives in the lounge room with three nappies. Will have to convince him to put them away later.

Bless his little heart
xx

Daily Outfit

2011-06-08T12:17:00.002+10:00

As you might know, I follow the blog of Elsie Larson, its called A Beautiful Mess - see ------------------------------------>
She does twice weekly posts on what she's wearing, often colourful, beautifully photographed and interesting. This is my take on it.

The other day I wore:
GREY undies
GREY maternity bra
GREY tracksuit pants
GREY t-shirt
GREY socks
and my pink runners.

I didn't take a photo (can you imagine why??) Although it was all grey, the trackies and the t-shirt were different shades of grey.

That being the case, I have managed to get some more stylish clothes. I'm loving my fitted jeans and knee high brown boots. I just love the way it makes me stand, feel and walk. I feel I stand straighter.

Mamamia.

2011-06-02T22:50:00.002+10:00

I'm quite obsessed with the website Mamamia, I get obsessed about things quite a bit.
Its an interactive website, newsy articles get posted each day and comments are invited. I comment, but don't join in the conversation. I'd comment a lot more if I had the time, I wonder how some contributors find the time, they comment so often.

This is what I'd like to say, but don't, and some other random stuff.

Live meat exports:
4 Corners showed a program the other night about cattle being sent to Indonesia for slaughter, and the horrifically cruel way they are killed. I feel sick. I feel the world is a little strange how horrified we are that cows are being killed in a way that takes 5 minutes instead of 30 seconds, but we don't seem to care about rapes and murders in Africa of humans. I think people feel humans can fight back, but the animals are helpless. Its a strange set of emotions, the cows are being sent there to die that is the goal, but the manner of the death is horrible. I think those images will haunt me forever. I feel especially guilty as we were just given 3/4 of a cow, its in my freezer. I know it was killed humanely, but now I can picture its death and I'm eating it! I could almost go vegetarian... but won't.

Joint bank accounts:
I just can't see how a married couple can not have joint bank accounts. Take Jamie and I, we own a house together, we have two cars, heaps of insurances - if we had separate accounts would that mean that I pay half of the health insurance and he pay the other half. MUCH easier just to join it all together. For the first two years of our relationship, I earned bugger all as I was at uni and on the parenting payment from the government. I have now caught up in my wages, but have also had a year off with maternity leave. Sometimes I earn more, sometimes he earns more.. doesn't really matter, the bills get paid, we are comfortable. Its US, not me and him. This is our house, our family, our cars etc when we got married (well actually about 7 years prior to that) we joined together as a family. Shouldn't be a power play.
This topic was on Mamamia this week. So many people said "protect yourself" don't' do it. Half of relationships don't last, well that means that half do! I know that Jamie put more money into our first house, should we split, I would take that into account. But I'm not a bitch, that is the worry the bitch/bastard factor.

Bonds ad:
This is just too cute. There is a sexy ad for Bonds underwear featuring Sarah Murdoch. Each time it comes on the telly, Ryan stops what he is doing and watches it with his mouth open. Tonight he even lifted his shirt up. I think he's got a thing for Mrs Murdoch.

I'll share more, when I can remember what I want to rant about.

Food Glorious Food

2011-06-02T11:37:00.005+10:00

I have a love/hate relationship with food.
I love eating it.
I hate cooking it.

I have a very VERY VERY fussy husband. He seems to hate all fruit and vegetables, and, in general, the way I cook. That being the case I have become very lazy with my cooking. Basic, done at the last minute, not really caring if its nice because everyone will complain anyway type of cooking.

Jamie being fussy and (to be honest) rude about food has made Mark quite the same. More often than not, when dinner is put on the table, I get "that looks disgusting", "I'm not hungry" and "do I really have to eat that". Can you see what that does to my self esteem and my desire to cook???

Today - 2nd June 2011 - I am making a change. I will cook colourful, interesting and tasty food for Mark, Ryan (Ben when he starts eating) and myself. Poor Mark has bad skin, lots of pimples, I can blame myself for at least part of it. He eats poorly because I prepare poor meals.

I have not *made* him eat breakfast for over a year. That stopped today as well. He will eat breakfast each day! Today he had a Herbalife Shake, tomorrow will be the same or some Weetbix.

I will menu plan and shop to it.

Tonight is:
Steak, braised cabbage, steamed broccoli and cauliflower and mashed potato.

Friday:
Stir fry with lots of vegies.

Saturday:
Well that's as far as I have gotten. Will come back with the rest of the plan.

Butterflies

2011-05-31T13:15:00.002+10:00

I'm all a flutter with excitement and anticipation.

No further information as yet.

OMG FOOTBALL

2011-05-28T21:36:00.002+10:00

Its winter and that means one thing.
FOOTBALL.

It seems to take over our life. Jamie is the head coach and VP of our local junior AFL club. This means it takes on greater importance than just going to practice and playing each week.

Take for example this week...

Tuesday: The U14s team (the one Mark plays on) had their team dinner.
Wednesday: Usually training, but due to VERY bad weather, it was cancelled.
Friday: Jason (the club President) came over to do some scanning, and we ended up talking football for at least half an hour, before moving onto other topics. Training. That night, Jamie and Mark were gone from 4:30pm and got home at about 8pm. They had a guest coach - supposedly the kids mucked up and it was quite embarrassing.
Saturday: We went to watch the reserves for the Sydney Swans play at #1 Sports Ground. Drizzly weather but it was a nice day out. I was quite stressed as I don't cope to well with Ryan outside, but there were lots of spotters to keep him contained. Must start training to hold hands.
Sunday: Jamie and Mark will leave at about 7:45am for Jamie's U10s game. Mark is playing at 11:30, and Jamie umpires that game. Depending on how the sleep goes, I will go to watch some of it. I don't expect them home until 2ish... that is the norm.

Then Jamie sleeps.

Mark has enormous potential as an AFL player. He has speed, agility, talent. But he lacks determination and effort. The latter overtakes everything. Such a shame.

Ryan is a little goer. He loves footballs. We have round balls and AFL shaped balls, he MUCH prefers the AFL ones. He takes great delight in throwing and kicking it all over the place. Should be very interesting how he goes when he starts Auskick and how young he wants to play in the "real" games.

Ben just sleeps and eats.

I can't believe how I've come to enjoy the game. I don't mind at all going to a game. I can watch it on telly, if I have to. I quite like listening to it on the radio, but I really dislike the commentary of NRL and really hate listening to soccer. I guess it is what I understand, reminds me of my real home. Man, I miss Melbourne and NEED to move home. I love watching Mark play, I love watching him run. I think the truth is, I love Mark.

Music

2011-05-27T19:46:00.002+10:00

Favourite music in our house. Also learning how to use blogger better ;)

Embarrassingly it is Ke$ha - this is being used to advertise a new show called "Downton Abbey" and I'm watching it mainly due to the way its been advertised with modern music and it appears to be set in the late 1800s.

An all time favourite is Black Betty by Spiderbait. This is doubly awesome due to the fact one of Spiderbaits band members name is Kram, which is what we call Mark when he's been naughty Kram is Mark spelled backwards, otherwise known as the antiMark. Ryan adores this song, and has been calmed down many a time when he's been upset or not too well. Funny song to use as a calmer!

I'm still totally in love with Lady Gaga.. not her, but I do love her music. There is something about this Telephone song that I just love. Film clip is very "out there" I don't actually like it, but it is what it is.

Exceptional.

2011-05-26T11:45:00.003+10:00

That is the word I would use to describe my middle child. Another that springs to mind is magical. He has a certain something about him.

A complete copy cat - his newest craze is brushing his teeth. He stops every few moments to wipe his mouth with the towel whilst making a sound with his mouth (something akin to blowing your nose).

~ LOVE ~

2011-05-24T11:44:00.005+10:00

Just thought I'd share some snaps of love!

Frustrating.

2011-05-18T23:01:00.003+10:00

There are many causes of frustration.

Having a blog post all formulated in your head, but then Blogger doesn't work so you completely forget what you were going to write about.

NEVER catching up on washing. I can't believe how much washing this family of mine produces. There are currently 5 people in my family, Ben doesn't change that often and only has two clothing items. Ryan needs a full change everyday and now its winter there are heaps more. Mark is just confusing... but a uniform and he seems to want to wash his PJs each day, I think he can't be bothered putting them away (not I think, I know), I have no idea how Jamie wears his clothes, I seem to wash 4 pairs of socks each day! Driving me mental.

The amount of packaging after a grocery shop. I had two full plastic shopping bags of excess plastic, plus a cereal box full of recycling.

No one - and I mean no one - helps me around the house. If I ask Mark to put his own dinner plate in the dishwasher you would think I asked him to mop the floor "ugh do I have to, grumble grumble grumble". I'm hopeless at housework, but its all left to me!

6 weeks ago when Margie was here, we completely tidied the computer room. I'm sitting in this room now and is revolting. I'm so embarrassed, how do we get it like this. Piles and piles of STUFF. WTF are we doing????

Breastfeeding. My milk is a little bit too intense and I leak a lot. Ben has trouble with the right side and it overfills. Both boobs hurt most of the time, I hate hate hate two of my bras, the other two are sort of ok.

Too much day time TV

2011-05-18T12:27:00.001+10:00

When Jamie leaves in the morning, you close the front door behind him and have a quick 15 minute workout on the "Tower 200 with Jake".

Then whip on the "Zumba DVD's" and prance around the house with your brand new ..."H2O steam mop and Swivel Sweeper". If you use the "H2O Steam mop" in 5 mins you will receive an additional vacuum cleaner absolutely free.

Now by now it should be around midday.

You should have prepared your "speed slicer" and "bullet express" so you can arrange dinner to be cooked in your "flavorwave oven" all ready for Jamie when he gets home.

But wait there's more.

You can whack on your "Pro-Active" skin care treatment and within 15 minutes your skin will feel fresher and clearer".

Then smear on some "Dr Lewinne's skin treatment" for that Goddess feeling to last the day.

No need to apply make-up your magic container of "Thin Lizzie" has covered all with the one product.

Now while the boys are having their afternoon nap, jump on the "ab circle pro" and feel those muscles really getting a workout.

When you've finished its time to clean those gutters for Jamie who is off working really really hard lol.

So you get outside and reach for the amazing "transformer ladder" with over 200 ways to use it, and start clearing those gutters and cobwebs from the corners of the house.Don't forget to rest your coffee mug on one of the 2 free steps you get !!!

Now it's almost time for Jamie to get home, and you're wondering is the car he is driving insured and are we paying too much. Never fear, you can give "I Select"" a call as they can find the best cover for you which seems much cheaper because you're at home slaving away with all that you do and rarely get out to drive.

Well what do you know, by now Jamie is home and dinner is lovingly laid out prepared on the table for Jamie to eat with the 24 packs of "Free steak knives" you have received for everything you've purchased.

You finally get to put you feet up on the couch, muscles screaming and feel like you're ready to die.

Suddenly an ad appears for "Real Funeral Iinsurance" and you start to wonder like you did today ........LMAO

As written by the brilliant Kirsty Palmer.

Bed Time (11/5/2011)

2011-05-12T22:45:00.007+10:00

Had an interesting trip to bed for young RJ Storer tonight.

Firstly he ate his dinner beautifully, the best eating he's done for over a month. He fed himself and didn't chuck anything on the floor (quite an achievement for Ryan).

Then I popped him in the bath, he loves his baths. He was splashing about, helped to wash his face, I gave him a scrub down with the cloth. Then he played with his containers and squeaky toys. Next thing I noticed was him leaning to the side, it was the dreaded "log in the bath". Ryan had done a BIG POO. Thankfully it was a solid one so was easy to fish out. There is something really gross about poo anywhere but the toilet, come to think of it, poo in the toilet is pretty bad too.

Then it was fight time, putting nappies on this boy is hard work. He needs something new and interesting to hold to stay still, screams and kicks and won't lie still. Until the nappy is on and then he stays put. Hard work and bad for the back. So I dredged him in baby powder for a change and he enjoyed it.

I put him in his gorgeous new flannelette PJs. I love the look of winter PJs on little boys, they look like old men, the fact that Ryan is so short makes it even cuter.

Then we went to the kitchen and he cried whilst I got his evening milk. He doesn't like waiting. Then the look of relief when I give him his bottle.

The grand plan is to wean him off a bottle in the next week or so. At the moment he is teething, so generally off his food to the point its not really fair to deprive him of easy milk. I'd like to give him milk from a cup, but he tips it over himself, he is really good with a straw, so might do it that way. A bit of both maybe.

Then we pop into our sleeping bag. Over summer I didn't bother with anything other than the "Linus" blankie, but now that it is cold (that is Newcastle cold, not Nova Scotia cold), we need something a little more substantial. He was waking overnight due to freezing toes, so I'm fixing that with a polar fleece sleeping bag.

Next I give him Lambie and turn his music on. Nan and Pop gave Ryan a musical mobile for his first Christmas and he loves it, it has a soft light that goes from blue to red and makes it not so dark.

So that is our go to bed routine (hopefully the log part won't continue). If I organise it so that it all happens around 7pm, its usually pretty successful. Then I go and look at my gorgeous little Ben... ahhhh.

Back to Baking

2011-05-09T19:32:00.001+10:00

I'm gonna make a sultana cake. Will be yummy for me, good for Mark and Ryan. I might even do a bit of my artistic photography.

Immigration - my thoughts

2011-05-09T11:20:00.004+10:00

I'm pretty confused about this one. Why send "boat people" to Malaysia when we already have a centre in Nauru? I'm sure the people of Nauru would like their jobs back. But I guess it was organised by John Howard, and if Julia Gillard uses it, it will be seen as endorsing his policy. But as she is using exactly the same policy, why not use a centre that is already built.

My main issue with our immigration policies, especially around boat people is as the ad says, they are desperate people who have used desperate means. I think if you are scared for your life, you can't get on a bus to Kabul to go to the embassy to fill in the forms, or the embassy in Khartoum as we probably don't have one. These poor people are running for their lives. I would equate them with battered women (and men to appease those people who always announce that men can be battered too) who run to a women's refuge in the middle of the night with only their clothes. Why didn't they organise some money, a divorce lawyer, a new place to live and pack all of their belongings. Oh that's right, they are in fear of their lives.

Maybe the government needs to spend more money on employing people to do background checks on asylum seekers, as I believe anecdotally that most boat people are legitimate refugees. According to www.crikey.com.au

Cost of detainment per person, per day on Christmas Island (as of 2007): $1830 — SMH
Cost of detainment per person, per day at Sydney’s Villawood detention centre (as of 2007): $238 — SMH

During the riots on Christmas Island there were about 2500 people on Christmas Island. So if the Department of Immigration employ an extra 50 people to do background checks and pay them an annual pay rate of $75,000 that is the same cost as keeping 50 people in detention for 7 weeks. As most stay about a year... it makes economic sense... and most of them get asylum anyway! If my figures are wrong, I apologise, but you get what I mean.

Teething

2011-05-08T20:17:00.003+10:00

What a awful thing to happen to a little person. Ryab got his first two - actually 8 teeth without much of an issue. They just popped through, maybe a bit of a whinge, but nothing to write home about.

These molars on the other hand. His little chubby cheeks are red, he's off his food, not sleeping very well, cuddly and sooky. Was awake from 12:30 to 1:30 last night just whimpering and cuddling, makes for a very tired me. The face is what is amazing, Jamie only just noticed it today, he can't believe that his cheeks can be so affected by teeth coming through.

He's getting dosed on Panadol which helps so much and I'm putting off the weaning of the bottle until he's better. His bottle of milk is such a comfort to my little Ryan.

What I can see in his mouth is at least one eye tooth and three molars cutting through the gum line. Poor little chap.

On a side note: in desperate need of winter PJs and some singlets for little dude, its freaking freezing here (and its all relative, so the fact that its still 17 is freezing for here)

Fashion crisis

2011-05-07T22:26:00.005+10:00

I need help. I need a lot of help. I really like this look: Now I know I'm not that size, I'm much more this: which of course is ICKY. So I'm not going to be doing the skinny jeans with brown boots this winter. I tried on a pair of skinny jeans tonight and it was horrifying. How to plummet any self esteem you might have is to see the wrong style of clothes in a change room mirror. We don't' have a full length mirror at our home, so I don't' see the full me very often at all. According to Westfield Trend watch is the following:

1. Loungerie - Inner as outerwear
The decadence of the 1980's was the last time fashion saw lingerie being worn as outer-wear with Madonna leading the way in the ‘big reveal' of exposed underwear. The 2011 twist on this will see a luxe chic combination of lingerie, swimwear and lounge apparel combine to form a ‘loungerie' fashion trend for 2011.
Think minimal fluid fabrics in neutral tones, sheers and whisper-thin fabrics exposing peeks of lingerie, underneath loose-fitting jumpsuits, long skirts, column dresses and wide-leg trousers.
Problem is we're heading into winter, so whisper thin fabrics don't make sense. Can't wear dresses at the moment due to breastfeeding. Loose fitting jumpsuit (I recall a jumpsuit I wore in the 80s it was turquoise pop snap thing that I thought was marvelous). So other than neutral tones which hopefully wouldn't "wash" me out too much, not much joy with loungerie.

2. Sophisticated seventies
Forget the Boho, flower child look of the seventies and get some vintage-glamour into your wardrobe for 2011. The 1970s gave us such sexy, striking and stylish fashion trends that seventies threads just keep reappearing year after year. Seventies glamour is that smouldering, sequinned, smokey look of the era and can be adopted day or night into your wardrobe.
By day, work the wide-legged trouser, floaty jumpsuit, super-high platform or wide-brimmed hat for a bold statement. When the night?falls, think long, slinky, sexy, glistening gowns that give a sense of movement - look for?high-riding splits or low hanging backs in luxe and shimmering fabrics like satin or Lurex.
I think I'll just say OMG with this one. I'm currently a SAHM to two kiddies under 18 months old (and the teenager who would positively die at the thought), so platform shoes and glistening gowns just aren't practical.

3. Leather and lace

They may be poles apart in texture, but leather and lace are opposites that certainly attract in 2011. Both featured on 2010 catwalks and are back next season with a fabulous vengeance.? Opt for the wider, antique-styles of lace that exude a vintage-feel rather than the finer, sexier weaves. Make a statement with lace rather than adding a girlie edge or try leaving out the slip and going for the sheer look that will carry on from last season. Leather always has its place every season, but the biker look rocked in 2010 with biker pants, boots and jackets making a strong appearance. Teaming softer finishes like lace and floral prints with the toughness of leather looks to make resurgence again in 2011.
I did see a nice faux leather jackets this evening. Could "work" this look.

4. Bell-bottoms are back - the new trouser
Don't panic, skinny jeans are still in, and always will be. But the wide-leg, flared trouser is experiencing yet another revival as an on-trend alternative to the staple skinny. The Nu-vogue of bell-bottoms, do however, come with some rules. Firstly, the hem should be wide, at least as wide as your foot and on the longer side skimming the top of your toes. Most importantly however, is that the 2011 take on the trend is a looser-fitting, cut generously at the knee rather than the thigh and knee-skimming cuts of a few years ago. Keeping the leg and hem wide means that a fitted high to the waist style will be more flattering and gives the fully fledged 1970s vibe.
This is funny, I found an old (like 5 years old) pair of jeans this week and they quite wide at the bottom ie bell bottom, so I'm on the fashion with this one. I do think they are awful though. But currently its those jeans or trackies!

5. Colour splash

In keeping with the vibrant, cheerful, swinging 70s theme, bold colours and all shades of tan, camel and neutrals will make a huge splash in 2011. Think boxy shifts in pillar-box red, canary yellow, cobalt blue and a dash of burnt orange. Make a statement with colour or thread it through your neutral palettes with loud and proud accessories. Block colour is mixed with printed patterns galore with digital prints, geometric shapes and animal prints making an appearance and keep your eyes out for more original looks like the Chinese porcelain print and other Asiatic finishes. Cool whites are hot this year from summer through winter and hit anywhere on the neutral palette from cappuccino browns to tans and camel or the coolness of silvery metallics and gun-metal greys.
I can do colour, but need a STYLE.
--------------------------------

Looking at Kmart tonight (yes I know Kmart is not the best option, but it was 8:30 on a Saturday night and that is the only store open), they only had flimsy sheer tops, or windcheaters. There was hardly any nice warm tops. Will keep looking at the fashion pages to see what is good. People watching the other people who go to Kmart on a Saturday night showed some weird-assed clothes, chunky girls in short dresses with the revolting wedge boot
Just checked out Witchery, everything is over $50 and I can't justify what is essentially a tshirt being $50. Looked at Zara which people are going APE over and can't find much of an Australian store, the Canadian one, I'm not too impressed about. Maybe Jeans West is more me... again everything is frigging expensive. The other issue I have is we do have a winter, its not a Canadian winter, or even a Tasmanian winter. But I don't want to put my heater on, so I need to dress warmly, most of the clothes I've seen is either paper thin, short- or no- sleeved, even the "jumpers" are thin. If you want actual warmth, you need a horrible windcheater, which I already own and don't like.

ARGH, I hate being a bit fat and not know what suits me.

My thoughts

2011-05-05T22:53:00.002+10:00

Who is interested in my thoughts on this Osama bin Laden assassination?

Well no one really, but this is my forum to speak, so I will.

The media needs to STOP talking about it, like right now. Them continuing to talk relentlessly about it will make the retaliations happen.

As in all news articles, one must give a little background about what I'm speaking.

I remember the night of 11th September 2001 (not sure of the date in Australia, but truly does it matter, it matters the date it was in America) very very clearly. We were living in our new home in Tullamarine, we'd been there since June. It was late at night about 10.30 or 11pm, and I was asleep on the couch in the lounge room (fallen asleep watching telly), Jamie was in bed (hmm, he used to sleep). I woke up about 10:30ish and thought some strange movie about burning buildings was on. That movie didn't interest me, so I changed the channel and the same scene was on, and then the next channel had the same scene. This must NOT be a movie. So I woke Jamie up... we watched for a bit, and finally realised that is was real, we saw the second plane crash into the World Trade Centre. We called both sets of parents to get them to watch. We stayed up most of the night and watched the events unfold. I remember the awfulness of the twin towers collapsing and hearing the messages that family members left on telephones. The sheer hopelessness of everyone who was in those buildings, there was no escape.

We joined in the world in hate for Osama bin Laden. He caused it, he masterminded it, even if he didn't actually do it. Every few months bin Laden put out a taunting video via El Jazeera news network. But that stopped quite a few years ago. The war in Iraq and Afghanistan continues, but not as a search for bin Laden, more of a path to democracy for those countries. To be honest, I thought that maybe bin Laden had died or gone into hiding so much that he had become irrelevant.

Then the news came this week that bin Laden had been living in a large compound in Pakistan quite close to an army training facility and Navy Seals had gone in and killed him (and others).

I'm pleased he was killed. I'm pleased he wasn't captured and put on trial. He would haven been made a spectacle of, if they had tortured him (very likely), I wouldn't have felt bad for him, no one deserves to be tortured, but a straight assassination, I'm in favour of. Its quick and cost effective - my goodness did I just write that?

But I also feel its a little irrelevant. He is not a Taliban powerhouse, Al Queda is not really a force to be reckoned with anymore (or maybe it is and I'm not paying attention). I feel it was correct to have him assassinated, but the US government should have reported nothing more than what President Obama said in his speech and then said nothing else. They do NOT need to have reported that he was unarmed, or that he was carrying money, or that he possibly used a woman to shield him. The details are NOT necessary. It was a secret mission by the elite Navy SEALS, they did their job, and leave it at that.

I do not want to see pictures of his body, he was shot in the face, so a picture won't stop conspiracy theorists. Bin Laden was far removed from public consciousness, it seems silly to say he's been killed if he wasn't. If it was a year after 9/11 then it could be a conspiracy, but as its 10 years... well.... good for Obama's re-election (but that has been said also)

I don't have influence, so if you are a blog troller, please don't worry about my opinion, which is just that... my opinion.

Update about the boys.

2011-05-01T21:49:00.003+10:00

"The boys" is new absolutely favourite saying in the whole wide world. Still LOVING the fact that I finally have three children. It was my dream growing up to have three children, didn't expect them all to be boys, but by-jingo I'm loving being the mother to "the boys"

As a precursor, I'm feeling much better PND wise. I think talking it out to the maternal health nurse, Jamie, Mum and sort of to Connie has helped marvelously. Jamie has been fantastic and I think I've had another week to get used to stuff.

Ben Arthur is 4 weeks old today (that's not a month, only 4 weeks). He smiles, gurgles, squarks, drinks milk like its going out of fashion, poops and sleeps. He looks quite intently at me. I'm still not entirely sure what to do with him, but we will work on that over the next (hopefully) 50 odd years.

Ryan Joseph is 17 months old now. He doesn't know how to sit still anymore. He is constantly on the go, the only way to make him sit down is to strap him in his highchair, carseat or the pram. He is very happy to sit in all three (thank goodness). I'm starting to wean him off his bottle during the day, giving him his milk in a glass using a straw. We will work up to drinking out of it independently as time progresses. He is still a totally shit eater - yogurt, cheese, custard, ice cream (grandparents were dairy farmers you see)... no problems, anything else such as meat and vegies... not so good. His speech is amazing, he babbles incessantly, no real words yet, but engages in conversation. When on speaker phone to the grandparents, they will talk and he will answer very conversationally and loud. He adores little Ben, giving him kisses and hugs at every opportunity, thankfully now its a much shorter duration and one or two kisses is enough and then he'll move on. I have to watch little Ben like a hawk though, Ryan is very quick to throw things and today he had a golf ball in his hand.

Mark Emmanuel who is one and a half months off being 13, has been the wonder kid this weekend. We had drama central yesterday at our house and he was banished to his room (and out of earshot) he did not complain once, he did require to play with my new HTC phone though. Tonight he has done his English homework, I'd like to say without complaining, but that isn't true, but he did it independently which is highly irregular. He's been much calmer with Ryan and showing more interest in Ben. Today he had a bye in his football, so did boundary umpire with Jamie and was paid $10 for his efforts.

Funny story (and thank goodess I'm a trusting wife)

2011-05-01T08:38:00.004+10:00

So yesterday was an extremely busy day for us.

Lots of football issues to be fixed and Jamie had a job with his computer fixit company (he fixes people's computers onsite for them). Prior to the job he had to collect his umpire uniform. So off he went to get the uniform, and in the process had forgotten his job clipboard, so had to return home to get it.

Very close to our house he spotted a hitch hiker (very very strange as we live in a quiet suburb with two roads in and two roads out - local traffic only), as he pulled up, the woman came over and asked if he was going to town. As he sort of was, he offered to give her a lift (after he collected his clipboard). Mark spotted him out the window and asked me "Who's in the car with Jamie".... "I don't know" and didn't give it another thought.

Later in the evening he told me about it. She started chatting to him, asked him what he was doing as it looked like he was working. He said that he was and it surprised him as he normally didn't get much work on the weekend. She said she gets much more work on the weekend. Jamie asked "What do you do?"
"Oh, I'm a street prostitute!"
Now this is why I love this man, he told me, I didn't want to offend her by reacting, so tried my hardest not to... he asked her what their situation was with the police, and they had an intelligent conversation until he dropped her off.

I'm so pleased that I fully trust him and am not the slightest bit worried that he "used her services"

So its true, my 4WD which has two baby car seats in the back was sat in by a street prostitute that my husband picked up!

Are you bleeping serious???

2011-04-28T13:19:00.004+10:00

I wanted to write the heading using the "real" word, but my parents and parents-in-law sometimes read this blog, so I must pretend I'm ladylike.

I know that I'm very lucky to be receiving any money for being on maternity leave. Millions do not get any money at all, women throughout history were not paid to have babies. But I live in a society that does, I am lucky enough to get paid maternity leave both from my employer and the government, so I'm allowed to complain about my "FIRST WORLD PROBLEM"

I get 13 weeks of paid maternity leave at full time rates from my employer, I've chosen to take this as 26 weeks at half pay, I've been on that for two months now.

My paid parental leave from the government came into my bank account today. If you actually go to the website, it says:

The Paid Parental Leave scheme:

is government funded
is for eligible working parents
can be transferred to the other parent
is paid at the National Minimum Wage - currently $570 a week before tax*
is for up to 18 weeks, and
can be taken any time within the first year after birth or adoption.

Do you see the dollar amount, $520 (yes it does say before tax).

So what the freaking hell is my tax bracket. I got $302 into my bank account. Which says to me, they have withheld $218 in tax... that is bloody lot of tax if you ask me.

BUT

She then calls Centrelink to check. Its my quarterly Childcare Rebate. So its all good. They haven't finalised the Paid Parental Leave stuff yet.

I'm such an idiot.

Especially as I've burned three cupcakes due to writing this rant.

Easter

2011-04-25T21:37:00.004+10:00

This year... I'm wondering what happened to Easter. Due to Easter being incredibly late this year, it has coincided with ANZAC Day. So we (those of us who actually work) get a 5 day long weekend, instead of the usual 4 day one. School holidays are completely fruitcaked up, almost 3 weeks off, seriously why didn't they start a week later and finish this Friday. The kids have had two full weeks, and now don't go back until Thursday! Cranky x 100.

On Sunday mornings, I listened begrudgingly to a radio program called Australia All Over, hosted by Ian McNamara (Macca), I've been listening to this on and off for the past 16 years, and I still don't know the talk back number, he says is sooo fast. He says " call 8 triple 3 1020 and 02's the code - hello this is Macca" but its all in one breath and super super fast. I'm not particularly a fan of the show, but we have the radio in our room playing 24/7 on the ABC and so it just comes on on Sunday mornings, due to the fact that I think Macca is a bit rude and most of the people calling in are trying to raise money for something, "I'm riding across Australia to raise money for people with amputated feet" and they talk about weather and birds. Annoying.

ANYWAY.... yesterday was Easter Sunday, the day that Jesus Christ rose from the dead, a pretty big day in history. All people who rang in wanted to talk about was chocolate or the Easter Bunny or something to do with ANZAC day. I feel that ANZAC Day has completely overshadowed the Easter message. Yes its very important to remember the soldiers who died fighting for this country, but some acknowledgement of Jesus dying on the cross for us should be in their too.

I've never been to a dawn service, and to be honest, I don't think I'll ever go to one. I feel its a bit wrong, as my dad was in the army (only as a peacekeeper thank goodness), Jamie's dad is a Vietnam veteran, I believe my grandfather was in WW2, but we don't do anything to commemorate it. I watched part of the dawn service in Gallipoli today, it moved me to tears. I love the way the Turkish people have allowed Gallipoli to be part of Australia (and NZ), they lost many tens of thousands more soldiers than the ANZAC troops, yet they consider it to be joint land. A lovely sentiment.

I remember a couple of years ago (I think whilst pregnant with Ryan), Mark and I went to the war memorial in Canberra. I looked at the war memorial in such a different way that day, thinking at much the same time 100 years previous women in my situation with young 11-12 year old boys would be soon sending them off to war. In four years time it will be the 100 year anniversary of the Landing at Gallipoli - in four years time Mark will be 16 almost 17 years old. If we went back 100 years in the past, Mark could have been one of those boys who lied about their age to head off to the "Great War", and it might be the last time I saw him. Sitting in the War Memorial, I thought if I was one of those mothers... how hard it must have been for them. Those boys were YOUNG, and so many of them died, on both sides of the war. All of those boys were the son's of someone.

So that is my thoughts on Easter (sorry I didn't get to church, but its hard to go with tiny ones when its not your norm, and it isn't supported by your husband) and ANZAC Day (much different to when I was younger)

Boring, tearful but in the end a good day.

2011-04-22T20:50:00.004+10:00

Up early with the little boys. I think they are setting each other off. If Ben cries, Ryan wakes up too. Its challenging, especially as Ryan is a "bad waker-upper" at the moment and wants to cuddle, but if you also have a starving 3 week old that only I can feed... well challenging is the word I'm using.

Ben is a great sleeper, if he's not sleeping, he's having his milk. He squarks a bit, but not too much. He had a bath tonight, in the big bath with Ryan. Ryan babbles away at him and wants to pat him. I think that will be my regular way to bath little Ben, save on water a bit and set up habits for the future. They can have their bath together. Anyway Ben loves the bath, only hated his first one, and that was probably because I was SO stressed.

Jamie went to the Central Coast to play golf this morning, got home just after 1pm and has pretty much slept all afternoon. Not sure what his issue is.

I spoke with mum this morning and bawled my eyes out. I know I'm doing well, that isn't what the problem is. I'm being awfully short with Mark - he deserves it on some level - but not all the time. He still loves me, that is certain. I'm a bit "over" the push push push push and then "sorry mum" of his behaviour. He's bored shitless needs a friend nearby to play/run/wrestle with. He went off with Daniel today, but that was for less than half an hour, not enough to burn off any energy.

Tomorrow is back to the Central Coast to go the Australian Reptile park. Really looking forward to that. I hope that Mark doesn't make too bad a face when I feed Ben. I've tried to be very sensitive to him and not do it in public. I personally do not care at all.

EPDS

2011-04-21T12:21:00.003+10:00

Edinburgh Postnatal Depression Scale

Hmmm.... I just scored myself at 15, beyondblue suggest if you score greater than 10 you should consult your health care practitioner.

So should I???

I don't feel I'm going to harm anyone, I just feel overwhelmed. I have Mark at home and as a teenager he is challenging (seriously doesn't listen to me), I'm stressed about the state of the house, I don't feel I'm getting adequate support. Not sure who to call, or what I'm supposed to do. I'm trying to do the right thing by Ryan but his lack of eating is starting to worry me. I feel I'm doing the right thing by Ben...

I know I'm not happy, I'm tired, I cry a lot, I eat too much sugar. Now I'm particularly worried.

I wish Mum was here.

Today (this afternoon) is the start of the Easter long weekend which this year incorporates ANZAC Day as well, so its 5 days with Jamie home... might let him know about this.

Challenges

2011-04-21T12:10:00.005+10:00

Today was an experience.

Grocery shopping with three children. I had Ben in the "pouch", Ryan in the trolley and Mark was my assistant. I don't think I'd like to tackle it without Mark, he was amazingly helpful.

I had several lookers - ohhh he's so tiny.

Forgot to mention that today is Maundy Thursday (ie the day before Good Friday) and people go nuts when the shops are shutting for a day. Yes I know that I'm the pot calling the kettle black as I was shopping too, but I needed to go, I hadn't been to the shops since about a week before.

A fever

2011-04-19T12:07:00.004+10:00

Yes I'm getting a fever...

ROYAL WEDDING FEVER.

How tragic is that? I'm quite desperate to throw a Royal Wedding Party of like minded people to watch it with me. I almost bought a commemorative tin of biscuits yesterday, but I held myself back. Maybe I should put it out there, I want a party too (but my FB friend Penni is having a party and I don't want to look like I'm copying - but I am - oh to be so conflicted)

A favourite thing to do

2011-04-18T21:25:00.003+10:00

I'm completely loving going to bed.

Well that's not too unusual is it? But I love the walk to bed.

First stop is Ryan's room - what strange position will I find him in, tonight it was feel at the window end, back against the side of the cot, dummy OUT of his mouth. Quite often he'll be bum up in the air, or sideways or goodness knows what.

Second stop is Mark's room - I'm looking for the familiar glow of the iPhone, is he still awake? Can I turn his fan off... despite being mid April and the weather has changed, he's still addicted to his ceiling fan on full pelt and the pleas before going to bed "Mum, don't turn it off" of course I do, I'm not allowing such a wicked waste of money. His room is lots safer since its been tidied up, feel ok walking in there now.

Third stop is Ben's new room. Only set it up yesterday, so its still a little disorganised, still has the queen sized mattress leaning against one wall. Well the tiniest of my children is now in his actual cot, looking especially tiny as I'm completely following the SIDS guidelines. He's so adorable all wrapped up in his muslin then tucked in tight under a sheet and a blankie. The furniture in his room is all white so it looks lovely and fresh.

Final step is my bed. I'm loving this new phase of being able to sleep, not fearing my bed, but totally loving it.

Completely exhausted now, been essentially awake since about 4am.
4am feed with Ben
4.30 Jamie's alarm went off
4.45am tucked Ben back in and back to bed.
5.am alarm
5.15 finally convinced Jamie to get up.
5.30 Jamie leaves
6am Ryan woke up
7am breakfast
7.30 sent Ryan back to bed
7.30 Connie rang - so had a nice chat, in that time Mark woke up and popped in, Ryan called out so came into my bed too and he had a HUGE chat to Connie and Toby.
Then the day kept going...

Seriously!

2011-04-18T20:25:00.004+10:00

Why does Jamie have to use a telephone?

He talks so incredibly loud that the person on the other end of the phone doesn't actually need to use the phone, they can hear him.

And he walks whilst talking.

Now fast forward a generation.

Little Ryan holds a telephone to his ear, walks around and and babbles LOUDLY into the phone.

A repeat of his father - yes.

Just a little personal

2011-04-17T21:27:00.002+10:00

But as the topic of the last couple of posts was about childbirth, I'm sure this is pretty tame!

I hate my maternity bras. They just aren't doing the job well enough. Yes they are pretty, but I'm not being "put" where I'm supposed to be.

Almost 13 years, 16.5 months and 13 days

2011-04-16T11:46:00.004+10:00

Yep, that's my boys. Can't believe how quickly the past 13 days have gone. How much has changed in that time. To be honest, I think Ryan is having the hardest time adjusting. Why does my mummy not pick me up? Who is that little creature?
The hardest part is if I'm changing Ben on the change table and Ryan comes up behind me and is desperate to be picked up, its just awful, makes me feel so bad. He has stood on his nappy bag and climbed up the back of my legs.

Ryan is also waking up from his afternoon nap in an hysterical mood. He screams for about 15 minutes and is unable to be calmed. Just awful. Yesterday was football practice, so I was home with the little ones. Thankfully Ben was asleep, so when the hysterical Ryan woke up and screamed I could help him. I'm not sure why, maybe he's teething, but I think its sort of a new habit, hopefully a short one. I don't like it one bit. I can't help him, he climbs and stomps and pinches and is inconsolable.

Ben is just delightful. All he's doing is sleeping, eating and pooing. I feel he's starting to focus a little bit. He is not awake for really any length of time, so interaction is at a minimum. Next wake up, I might play with him first, rather than feed him or else he just falls asleep again.

Mark is being his usual self. Demanding. He tidied his room beautifully when mum was here, now its covered in Lego again. He is desperate for a new set of Lego, and I don't want to get it for him. I don't see why he should get a new Lego. All he's done in the house is just his normal chores, yes he's doing it without whining, but nothting extraordinary. He's in my face every hour saying "can we go shopping". But then last night, he was so rude in the way he spoke to me. I just reminded him that he needed a shower and he growled "I KNOW" it was so aggressive and mean the way he spoke. That boy makes me feel so used and stupid. That is not the way a 13 year old should be towards his mother - or is it?

Had some other issues, but if you want to know, call me! Some things are just not right to be put on the internet for eternity.

Feeling a little down, still quite sore and achy (I have a cold as well) and starting on Monday, have no adult help. Nothing went the way I wanted it to... oh well.. seems like my lot in life, don't have enough say.

Introducing....

2011-04-15T10:18:00.004+10:00

BEN ARTHUR STORER.

Born on the 3rd of April 2011 at 9.22am
Weighing in at 7lb 10oz,
51cm long (or is that tall)

Just to let you know, its Ben, not Benjamin. Arthur is my maternal grandfathers name, a man I never met, but one I have been told was very gentlemanly, a trait one would wish on your youngest son.

First meeting with big brother Mark

First meeting with big brother Ryan (and Mum & Dad)

Instant love was in the room. Ryan is quite gentle with him, wants to kiss and pat him all the time. Mark is a little more standoffish at the moment, "he's too light", but as Ben becomes bigger and stronger, I'm sure the wrestling will begin.

Ben's Birth Story

2011-04-07T18:38:00.004+10:00

This is the information post.

Whilst its all fresh in my memory, here is Ben Arthur Storer's birth story.

As mentioned in previous posts, I'd been having Braxton-Hicks contractions for the previous two weeks, quite painful at night. Saturday (2nd April) morning I was having my shower and "lost my mucus plug" this is quite gross, THICK, sticky mucus.

So I was feeling that the birth was imminent. So stayed pretty mellow, except for going to the Becks for lunch and then down to the park for umpire training... maybe not so mellow after all. Just hung out and chatted with Margie, possibly watched telly at night (can't remember). Anyway overnight felt odd.... nothing was happening still some practice contractions but very uninteresting.

5am - I had a contraction, it was quite painful, but manageable. I went back to bed with Jamie and tried to cuddle him, I squeezed his hand through the next two contractions, I told him I thought my labour had started, he snored at me!

Went to the lounge room and called the hospital, telling them I thought my labour had started, having quite painful contractions about 5ish minutes apart lasting around a minute in length. The midwife said to come in, not to rush, have some breakfast.

Got Jamie up, he turned the coffee machine on, and grumbled at me that my timing was shitty. Sunday was the first round of the footy season, Jamie is the coach of the U10s and was umpiring the U14 match. I was freaking out, and really wanted to leave to go to the hospital. Margie got Ryan up, I couldn't hold him, gave him a kiss goodbye and kissed Mark. I got cross and told Jamie not to make a bloody coffee and lets get going.

Arrived at the hospital quite stressed and in a lot of pain. Made my way up to the delivery suite just before 7am (all the change over of staff were arriving at the same time) were led towards our room and I got diarrhoea (quite normal) and was extremely tense. By extremely tense I mean, completely tense, the midwife said it looked like I was in a full body cast and to relax my shoulders.

The new daytime midwife arrived about 7:30am and came with the night girl and a shot of morphine! She wanted to check how dilated I was before calling the anaesthetist (for my promised epidural). I was 3cm and therefore was a good time for an epidural. She then gave me the gas to breathe in. The contractions were not at all nice, they are fast and frequent. Where was the damned anaesthetist???

Jamie kept giving me looks of "you're not getting the epidural".

Fairly soon after the midwife checked my dilation, she got a doctor. She later said she "felt something" that could be a cyst on my cervix, or it could be the umbilical cord, she didn't want to freak me out, so didn't tell me until the doc had arrived. Doc checked, it wasn't the cord. If it was the cord, emergency C-section like straight away. But no, I continued on my painful journey. Each time the door of my room opened and it was a midwife (a person dressed in purple) I started to cry, not my epidural.

Finally the anaesthetist arrived - about 9am. Despite my HEAPS clinic appointment which went through all the pros and cons, this doc insisted on telling me, and it was to give Maggie the midwife time to check my dilation factor. As she popped her fingers in, my waters broke and she announced I was about 9cm dilated and it looked like the baby was crowning. Anaesthetist wished me luck and left the room.

I wailed for a bit about "this is not what I had planned".

Anyway, I somehow flipped myself onto my side, lifted my right leg into the air and pushed, out popped his little head! Shocked the bejesus out of me. Surely its harder to birth a head than that? I announced to Jamie "We're having a baby" gee I'm smart. Maggie asked if I wanted to feel his head, so I did, smooth and warm. Then I pushed out the rest of him and onto my chest he was placed. He stayed there for about two hours, just cuddling and kissing. He had a little feed about half an hour after he was born and then went to sleep - they called it a hibernation sleep.

Ben Arthur was very very red, not much vernix and nice and toasty warm. It was delightful lying there with him.

Eventually pushed out the placenta and then was stitched up again.

From whoa to go the whole thing took 4 hours. In hindsight it was great. I'm able to lift Ryan, able to drive, no big scars.... quite proud of myself actually :)

What a week.

2011-04-02T22:15:00.003+11:00

Still hanging out, this week I've been hanging out with Margie and we've talked so much. Quite amazing that we still have stuff to talk about.

I've had my niggly pains all week. They are strong in the evening and then go away. Hurts most going from sitting to standing, means I'm not standing up too straight.

I have seriously thought it would happen during this week, quite annoying that it hasn't. I really don't want to be induced, I'm not looking forward to ringing the delivery suite tomorrow, I feel they will try to talk me out of it. They ALWAYS try to talk me out of it. Quite sick of that really.

Had an emotional breakdown the other night, sobbed and sobbed. All just nerves and anxiety of the unknown. Worried about how to parent two little kids and my almost teenager.

Oh that is some good news, phoned the school to ask how Mark was going as I can't make it to the parent/teacher interview night which is on Monday (the year level adviser said I had a pretty good excuse), so I spoke with Mr Dibley who said that Mark was a bright, polite, respectful boy and his name hadn't come up at any of the meetings - which is a great thing as they really only discuss the troublemakers - so I'm a very happy mum! He said he has been nominated for some academic awards that will be presented at the assembly in the second week back in term two! Doesn't mean he'll get them, but the nomination itself is pretty damned brilliant! My son - an academic award - the two just don't quite go together. But as I have mentioned previously, he did well in his science assignment, has passed the practical part of music, is doing fantastic in PE (well duh, totally the opposite of his mum there), is great at maths, after a serious almost fail on an early test where he got 50%.

Our lives are slowly being engulfed by football. It seems to be the main topic of conversation either between Jamie and I, and of course most of our friends. Its going really well and I do (sort of) hope I can be there for the first game. I get to watch two of my boys play tomorrow (Mark as a player and Jamie as the umpire!!!) so actually its all three of them, because Ryan is a little goer and chases the ball down at every opportunity.

MUST REMEMBER TO TAKE MORE PHOTOS.

ooohhhhh

2011-03-28T22:04:00.004+11:00

I'm having a baby.. within the week.

Now for the back story. Went to the hospital today for my appointment, saw Dr Butt again (she's really nice, shame about the name) I've seen her three times now, and she remembered my story, which is lovely. We discussed my medical issues - RLS, insomnia, reflux and generally being 39 weeks preggers. She took my BP, which has remained consistent for the entire pregnancy 115/70 (or there abouts), she measured my tummy which is perfectly proportional to my gestational stage, listened to the heart beat.

That appeared to be that.

She asked if I had any other questions.... Yes, actually I do, how far along do "they" let you go before intervening.

Hmmm she said, 41.5weeks which is 10 days over!

OMG, NO. Margie is here already, I can't still be two weeks away, she'll be home by then.

I recall Kellie telling me recently that "they" don't do inductions on women who have had C-sections as its too harsh on the scar. Dr Butt disagreed, yes we do inductions and quite frequently. There is the option of an Atad catheter to dilate the cervix, mechanical "breaking of the waters", prostoglandins (which she advised against as once its there they can't undo it) and oxytocin drip. She dashed off to consult with the consultant who said yes he's happy to authorise an induction via Atad catheter at term!

Which means Sunday!
This Sunday!!

I have to call the delivery suite at 2pm on Sunday (unless baby is already here) and they will organise for me to come in for the catheter, can go home with it if I wish, or stay. Up to me, maybe.

So that means the Storer's will have a new son by the 4th April.

A seriously awesome junior football club.

2011-03-26T23:17:00.003+11:00

We had a committee get together tonight and it was great. There were at least 9 families (maybe more), heaps of kids and it was just awesome (maybe I'm watching too much of How I Met Your Mother).

First was a meeting which took a little more than an hour and solved lots of niggly issues, and will get lots of equipment.

Then the BBQ went on, I wasn't hungry so didn't eat dinner, but there were lovely salads, meats, bread etc.

Ryan was chillaxed most of the time, the Becks have a very steep home and lots of edges which could be fell off, so he was held most of the time, he played the piano for a bit (not yet musical)/

Managed to chat to some new and old friends. Everyone was enquiring how I was going and were shocked to hear only a week to go.

Made the most amazing desserts - Tiramisu and a jelly/fruit/custard thing. They should be all polished off now. Very proud of my tiramisu, a bit fiddly to make the cream but easy easy easy. Not a cook thing, just an assemble.

Got home close to 9.20pm, changed Ryan's nappy whilst he was asleep and hopefully he'll been down for count until the morning. Poor little fella is teething and is currently cutting molars :(

Tomorrow is a trial game for AFL starting at 8.30am (for Jamie), I will probably go closer to Mark's start time, then head out to the airport to pick up my mother- in-law, who I am actually really looking forward to seeing. Will be nice to have a helper around the house. Not ones that sit on the computer.

Will have to do a vacuum int he morning, but am 90% prepared. Was very shocked to see a 4 week old baby this evening, she was SO tiny and is now the size Ryan was when he was born! Holy shit newborn babies are small.

Really wish I had my camera this evening, would have been nice to have some photographic memories of such a nice night.

Good night, hopefully will report that I have had this baby soon. 39 weeks is plenty cooked enough.

School days

2011-03-25T16:25:00.003+11:00

After weeks of stressing out about everything to do with this blasted Science Assignment, I give the result... can you see that in the second picture - 55/60.

How that mark has increased a certain 12 almost 13 year old boy's confidence. Its allowed him to think that with just a little bit of effort, he can achieve what is required and a whole lot more. The pressure I put on him to use his own words, not to copy, has paid off. He's proud of himself.

A facebook friend - Hannah - said she was marking high school assignments last night and actually wrote on one child's work, "I have google too"

Trying to instil in him a bit of self respect. He is much better behaved at football, he was one of the "bad" kids, not listening, but got some positive feedback from his coach on Wednesday has made him feel good about himself.

That is what my dearest son needed - PRAISE.

What's in my bag.

2011-03-23T13:36:00.004+11:00

All my favourite blogs are doing this, and as I don't have a single independent thought, I'm doing it too.

As you can plainly see, I don't actually have a handbag. I try, but there isn't much point in carrying two bags, my main bag in the "nappy bag".

So I carry around changes of clothes for Ryan,
bibs,
nappies, wipes and nappy sacks for the stinkies.
I also have some discarded wipes (I hope they were for sticky fingers),
a spoon,
a pen,
a packet of cheese and crackers (Ryan uses the crackers as an implement to get the cheese, he does not eat the crackers),
a packet of Rennie!
Of course there are some receipts... why do I hold onto receipts.
Also my purse and
iPhone

Something I must rectify... in my purse there is a photo of Mark when he was in year one at school. He's all teeny with no front teeth. Hmmm.... will put a photo of my three boys in there in the next couple of weeks.

Relaxing and waiting.

2011-03-23T09:44:00.004+11:00

Bub slept in until 8am, Mark woke me at 7:30 and I didn't get up, he said "please get up, I want to talk to you", talk to me here darling (like Florence Nightingale, I'm holding court on my bed), and he did. Funny kid, he has an excursion on Friday to the Stockton Sand dunes for sand boarding (bloody fun) and he told me today that they are doing more than just sand boarding, they will be on a 4WD bus and then to the aquatic centre, well duh... I read the note. Trying to get him to read stuff is like pulling teeth.

I read last night of a blogger who is giving up Facebook for Lent... couldn't do it, well maybe I could, but don't want to do it. I should be on it less. I like that I don't Farmville any more, but commenting on status updates is my addiction.

Mamamia.com.au is down this morning, but its just come back online. Phew...
"ALL children need is to know that they are loved" is first line of the article, should be nice I hope. It was by Catherine Deveny, whom I normally can't stand, she has a stand-up show called "God is Bullshit", gee ain't that nice! But this bit of parenting advice is pure gold. Kids don't need their own room, every toy that hits the shelf, they can eat Weetbix for dinner occasionally... but the main thing they need to know is that they are loved. Awww.

Our plan of getting our business to rank better in Google, and then make us more money has made Jamie interested in this baby blog, Facebook and well not quite Twitter, but maybe. He is really working on Search Engine Optimisation. Takes a lot of time, but seems to be worth it.

Pregnancy related news - namuch. My feet have swollen to epic proportions but that makes the RLS not be so bad. Twinges in my abdo all the time, but not labour, heightened anxiety, very low threshold to aggravation. Poor Mark is bearing the brunt of it. He doesn't listen to me! He thinks its funny when Ryan falls over (which in a way, it is funny), so he'll push him, or trip him, or grab a leg, so that he has to fall over. I say to stop, and Mark pretends not to hear, so I say stop then I yell.
Last night Ryan found a small glass on the floor, and was walking with it, holding it carefully. I had my eye on him, next thing I saw that Mark had Ryan's ankle, "don't hurt him or make him fall" I said. Next thing over he goes! I speak for a reason, he could hurt himself. Oh I didn't mean to make him fall. UTTER BULLCRAP. So I yell again, and Mark does the pathetic "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to"

I think Mark thinks I'm just riding him, being mean, but I want a calm happy household that doesn't yell, and I'm the yeller! I know its b/c I'm stressed, but don't know how to de-stress at the moment.

The thought of labour is scaring me, what if we have a problem again? What if I can't contact Jamie? What if it happens really quickly? What if this baby dies? How will i cope with two babies? What if he's not healthy? See all these what ifs? I'm sick of being in constant ache (its not pain, but ache), I want to have him today, I'm super stressed. PLEASE let this baby come today.

Something New

2011-03-22T11:49:00.003+11:00

Did you notice the new layout? I like the colours, and our banner ad? Pretty swish isn't it?

So if you, or ANYONE you know needs a website, please think of our lovely, helpful, business MyNetHost. It is run by the most enthusiastic webhoster in the universe (yes my dearest husband).

Interesting stuff from today:
Ryan decided he would take his nappy off whilst in bed, and the peed all over his bed. HMMMMM.... not happy with this development, maybe I had it on too tight? Or he was just lying there awake for too long, needed something to do, so decided undoing the tabs was just the ticket.

Mark slept in! So I had to drive him for the first time this year. Traffic is awful between here and Waratah. He said his bus gets stuck in a traffic jam most mornings, there needs to be traffic lights at that corner I'm talking about... corner of Blue Gum Road and the one that goes to Wallsend, its a road I travel on almost daily, but have no idea what its called.

Far too tired, going to lie down.

Thoughts

2011-03-19T22:11:00.004+11:00

Can I say I don't really have any.

Too nervous about the impending birth of my third son - just love saying that.

So world events of this year have been pretty bloody awful.

Floods in SE Queensland - towns destroyed by a wall of water, about 20 people killed and a huge clean up, which includes fixing so many roads.

Cyclone Yasi in FNQ - again towns destroyed by fierce winds and rain. Supposedly the buildings were quite "up" to the cyclone, not many destroyed, but heaps of vegetation gone. Strange that one of the hardest hit towns was Tully - where I used to live. When I lived there, I was at the caravan park and would have blown away. Bizarre.

Christchurch Earthquake - lovely beautiful Christchurch. The whole town is destroyed and is still rumbling. Scores killed - around 200. Again the clean-up is immense.

Japan's Earthquake, Tsunami and Nuclear Disaster - ahhhh. The pictures have been amazing, a wall of water destroying EVERYTHING in its wake. This ones death toll is closer to 10-15,000 The fear of the nuclear fallout is tremendous all over the world, no one really believes the Japanese government and there are too many opinions from "nuclear experts" about what is going on. Quite scary.

So what is next?

Still out of sorts.

2011-03-19T15:48:00.003+11:00

Feeling very "wrong" the last couple of days.

Very sensitive to everything.

Feeling lost, grumpy, argumentative, achy, tired and generally not myself.

The labour (now technically known as pre-labour) stopped around 11pm last night. Went from 4 - 11 and was bearable. Now just waiting for the next round.

Going to eat something today. I have avoided food like products, relying more on cereal that last couple of days, that might help. Tonight we are having "Honey Mustard Chicken" one of my families favourites. Might do it with pasta. Had a "spare" cake in the freezer and have turned it into dessert, have made it a SORRY cake. Even wrote sorry on the top, that's how guilty I'm feeling for the last few days.

I have a feeling

2011-03-18T18:00:00.004+11:00

That my labour is starting. Just the prelim stages at present.

Aching across my abdomen.
Feeling nauseas.
Ache across my lower back.
Needing to pee.
Comes and goes.

UGH

2011-03-18T13:14:00.002+11:00

And I'll leave it at that.

Crap day.