Bath Time

Thinking he's cool

Checking themselves out in the mirror

Bogan

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December Daily - 8th

DToday was FUN.  Busy and tiring but FUN.

Met my sister and her kids for brunch at the Pancake Parlour.  I thought mine was delicious (bacon, eggs and a blueberry pancake), Jamie had hot buttered walnuts, Mark had Bavarian apple, Jo had a short stack with strawberries.  Sheena and Ryan both had ice cream (!), Ben had an "Alice in Wonderland" (one pancake with ice cream, choc topping and sprinkles) and Roy had 2 gluten free pancakes with ice cream.  Not sure why we needed to know that, but now you do.

Cousins having a lovely time together

Roy enjoying his gluten free pancakes

Sheena

No that was not too much icecream and choc topping

Then we went down the road to the Box Hill Miniature Trains.  It was fantastic.  The train ride was quite reasonably priced, it took a decent amount of time and most importantly the kiddies loved it.  Jamie had some pressing business to deal with so he didn't go on the train but caught up with us at the park afterwards.  Here is a smattering of pics from the afternoon.

 Then some more...

Ryan was chatting up some girls and then coaxed Roy to play too

On the miniature train.

Cutie pie Roy

Mark does not look like he's enjoying himself.

Ben driving the train

Sheena is a star at the Monkey Bars

Uber cute one of Ryan on the train

December Daily - 4th

Otherwise known as RYAN'S BIRTHDAY.

HAPPY 4TH TO MY LITTLE BOY, the exciting story of 4 years ago is here.

This is my foodie blog version of the cake I made.  I used the following recipe of Vanilla Cake and added heaps of sprinkles to make it a funfetti cake.  

I made two rounds and a ring cake

Trimmed and then smoodged them together with icing

Filled the middle with M&Ms

Topped with the second full round cake

Then iced the whole thing

When cut, it becomes a piñata.

The day started with a very excited boy asking for a present!  The present was yet to arrive, so thankfully we had some Matchbox cars and he was very happy to get that.

Off to school with grand announcements all day of "its my birthday" they had a cake and he requested PINK icing, and got it.  The whole class sang Happy Birthday and he was made a fuss of all day.

Then the big news came in the form of a text message "call asap"  The present was at the Post Office and we needed to get it.

opening the gifts

Excitement of a BIG car

Is this remote really MINE?

I can do it Dad

Zooming along

More zooming

One happy little boy.

11.30pm

Best picture of Jamie - ever.

 Insomnia, RLS and backpain.



These things suck.

I'm currently in a funk with insomnia, can't fall asleep without drugs, its quite bad. 2-3hrs of dozing if I go drug free and only about 5 if I take a sleeping pill.  So wish it was more, my body wants more but "the insomnia" won't allow it.

RLS comes and goes.  The Sofril (the drug I'm on) is doing a pretty good job.  But I've already taken it and I can feel my legs resisting as I sit or stand.  Grrr.

Backpain.  This one disturbs me.  Its my lower back.  It was sore before we left for holidays and as one of the boys wanted to be carried, it just got worse and worse.  Now its aching all the time.  Positions it hurts to be in... lying down, sitting on a chair, sitting on the floor and kneeling.  It is really only comfortable to be standing.  So night time is doubly bad, insomnia and pain when lying down.  The straight backed wooden chairs are painful, the floppy couches are painful.  So worried I have what mum has.  I'm over being in pain.  My other problem is getting to a physio.  I just can't.  This week I'm working from 9-6 M,T,W,F and have Thursday off... go then you say, its Anzac Day, a public holiday and no private physio works on a public holiday.

Cooking today, wanted to get so much more done, but made fried rice for lunch, chicken drumsticks and mash for dinner.  Granola for my breakfast and a vegie curry type thing for my lunches.  I really wanted to make some cake, but didn't get around to it.

Have to fit in cake making this week as its my sister and her husband's birthdays this week.  They will come over for a little bit on ANZAC day for cake.  Hmmm what to make?

Some good news, Ryan is back to being fully continent.  I still have him in a pullup at night, but its unnecessary.  The flooding from a month ago still has me nervous.  That being said, he had a big drink before bed tonight and its almost midnight and he woke up, went to the loo, had a little cuddle and then said "I want to go back to bed"

Tonight I went in to check that the fellas were covered.  Ryan has his little toes poking out of his dinosaur blanket (he gets too sweaty under the doona, so he has his polar fleece blanket).  Ben's little arm was hanging out between the bars of the cot.  He did so well today.  We took his dummy off him about half an hour after he woke up and didn't get it back until he was in bed this evening.  He didn't ask for it ether, but was very happy to see it.  He went very badly backwards when we were in Thailand, he had it almost constantly and would cry "dummy" when he didn't' have it.  There are a lot of photos with that damned dummy.  Looking for a motorbike soft toy for the "Dummy Fairy" to bring and then we can lose the retched thing.

The next day

Our room, its the one in the middle :)

Ok, might be a little disjointed, just had a nightmare (can't recall) and its 2.30am.

Mark on a deckchair at Karon Beach

Today was meant to be a shopping day, but it ended up being a check out prices day.  This frustrated Mark to the nth degree.  But lets start at the beginning.
Breakfast - my goodness this place puts on a good breakfast.  Whatever you can imagine.  Kiddie cereals, sausages, full English, proper Asian style - Marko is going Asian and having fried rice.  Nice juices, fruit including the tiniest bananas in history - will take  the camera to breakfast tomorrow to get a teeny banana photo.  We ate outside, quite close to the road.   Ben got very excited about the motorbikes, there are MILLIONS of motorbikes here, most with helmetless riders, and often with two or three people.  So he spent a few minutes saying "oooh motorbike, oooh van, ooooh motorbike, motorbike oooh van" you get the picture?

Then we went to the beach across the road.  Everyone enjoyed that, its super flat out far and has one breaking wave in close.  According to all the paperwork, its quite a dangerous beach, rips, strong currents... yes that was evident, but we stayed close in shore. Ryan stuck with Jamie and Ben was with me.  Ben was gorgeous (again) he got the giggles with every wave, especially if we had to jump.

Ryan just a little excited at Karon Beach

Didn't stay too long there, then we jumped straight into the hotel pool and the boys JUMPED in over and over and over again. 

Mark and Ryan in the Tuk Tuk

Ben's first ride in a Tuk Tuk (mine too)

Then around 11.45am we left to go to a shopping centre in Patong to get a stroller and have a look around.  I was expecting cheap strollers to be readily available, but this was not the case, really kicking myself that we didn't bring ours, but now we've got another one.

How did we travel?  TUK TUK, these things are adorable.  Its a mini Dihatsu ute (according to Mark) that has been pimped with a back cover and seats that run mostly lengthways, open back door and no seatbelts.  Ben was unconscious asleep and missed it.  Ryan loved it, he really likes the blue tuktuks and thankfully we got a red one.  The road from Karon to Patong is really hilly and the little car makes it with only a tiny struggle.  Fascinating road rules over here!

And yes you should be embarrassed boy, all this wonderful food and you won't even taste it.  Burger King chips for him

Shopping centre was non descript - like any Westfield.  Got the stroller and am now cheering.  Wandered the outside areas which were amazing.  Had some lunch - just food court stuff.  Ryan is being a real pain with food, we had to get him chips.  Then we walked some of the side streets, lots of stalls with tshirts, dresses etc.

Ben awake his time, this one was very cutely pimped.

Exhausted, hot Benny returning from our adventure, he's carrying his own water bottle

Street food for dinner

Going backwards

It was my thing, my proud mamma moment, my smugness.

Ryan and toilet training.  Just before he turned 3 we decided to ditch the nappies as he was showing interest in the toilet and zoom, it was pretty much done.  Took approx 3 days, just a couple of accidents and then he got it.  After a month or so, it occurred to me that he was dry most nights too, so we ditched the night nappy too.  He never required to be reminded (yes smug), he woke himself up and then woke me up to go to the toilet over night.  It was great.  A little annoying as he woke up several times a night to go to the toilet, but I thought well he's waking up so don't complain - I may have complained a couple of times.

Then about 10 days ago.  He was drenched in the morning.
9 days ago.  Drenched at midnight.
8 days ago.  Drenched at midnight and again in the morning.
7 days ago.  Drenched at some point through the night.
6 days ago.  Purchased some pullups and explained they were undies and to wake up and go to the toilet.  Drenched - including the sheet - in the morning.
5 days ago.  Pull ups - wet.
4 days ago.  OK enough is enough, I'll wake him.  Midnight, fully wet pull up, 5am dry.
3 days ago.  Missed the midnight and drenched including sheet in the morning.
2 days ago.  Woke at midnight - wet pull up, tossed and turned in bed with me, but did not wet again until morning.
Yesterday.    Missed getting him up at midnight, wet pull up at 4.45am and then went to the loo and then DID NOT GO BACK TO SLEEP.

Get the picture?? Ok I was pretty clear about it.

Why would this happen?  I've been a little/a lot cranky lately.  The excitement of our holiday?  But he was SO good, and now is SO bad.  I've limited his milk tonight.  Will get him up as I go to bed, hopefully he'll go straight back to sleep.  And then wake him again at 4-5am and again please go back to sleep.  Its just so odd.  suggestions?  Anyone??

Ryanisms

"I'm not happy"
"I need a big milk"
"I need the blue one" in regards to the colour of his cup
"Benny needs you"
"I don't like it" in regards to anything that resembles healthy food.

Funny stuff

I put a box of Favourites on top of the fridge.  Mr 3 is jumping up trying to reach it "I'm too little"

STUCK

After a long time, Ryan is finally talking.  We have discovered he is a complete chatterbox with his volume set to 11.  On the way home from daycare in the car from the back seat I heard.

"Stuck, stuck, stuck"

"What's stuck Ryan?"

"ME"


Well duh, that is kind of the idea.

help, Help, HELP HELP HELP please

We're suffering, Ryan is not going to sleep at night. In the last months, lots of changes for him. Changes are as follows:

• Moved house - seems to have coped with that well.
• Lots of visitors - enjoys that.
• Mark went away for 2 weeks - but he loves Mark, don't go.
• Daddy went away - OMG he loves Daddy and now can't see him (last night he kissed Jamie's picture on my phone when he said goodnight)
• We moved him to a "big boy" bed the day before we knew Jamie had the job, and he left 5 days later and routine was not established.
• Started daycare 3 days per week.
• Changeable weather - can't help that one.
• Naps are erratic
• Mummy goes walking at strange times, leaving Ryan at home.

So with all that in mind, Ryan is having so much trouble falling asleep.
We do the wind down procedure,

• dinner - that is a whole other battle that I won't go into yet.
• bath - love love love the bath, its a frequent calmer down.
• relax in front of the telly, 
• story (ok I only started that yesterday, but they really enjoyed it, so it will continue *blush*)
• The kiss, tuck in and say goodnight.

The the drama starts, he comes out, he cries/screams, he comes out, he comes out he comes out.  All the time, Ben is in the same room, so his sleep is being disturbed.

I've done the "I've said goodnight, time to sleep, shut your eyes" He does this, then immediately returns.

I've growled, I've even smacked, I've been stony faced, I've been loving.  I've given a drink, I've given the silent treatment.  My main problem is when in the cot, he would scream, but in the bed, he just comes out screaming.

Help!

Next is the horrible wake up.
He wakes up screaming and thrashes about, yesterday he even butted his head on the ceramic tiles. This performance (which I try to ignore) goes on for 10-15 minutes.  If I cuddle Ben, he weaves his way in and pushes, hits or kicks Ben to get him out of the way.  Ryan is still essentially non-verbal, he will repeat words, but they appear to have no meaning.  He grunts and points, often at nothing in particular which makes it even harder.  Even Ben has taken to looking at him with a strange expression on his face.

I think the bed means he gets up before he wakes up properly and this is his wake up procedure.  When in the cot, I could hear he was awake but lay there and chatted to himself, even for half an hour before he "asked" to get up.

Mark is a big softie and any time he cries he wants to give him his dummy, even though we've made dummies a bed only thing.  His behaviour is making dummy-in-the-mouth an almost constant thing, which has given him an excoriation mark on his lip/chin.

Mark is desperate to help, but this usually means getting him out of bed for a cuddle, or hopping in his bed to calm him down, all of which will be a rod for Mark's back later on.

OMG, I'm suffering from lack of sleep.  Feeling guilt as  I have to give tons of attention to Ryan, so I feel I'm not giving Ben as much attention.  Its so hard.  I hate being a temporary single parent.  I want my webcam, but can't find it.

But at the moment, Marko is playing his xbox talking to his bestie,  Ryan is happily playing with a ball, Ben is wiggling around on the floor finding stuff to play with.

The toddler's baby.

Ryan loves his teddy, Roger. He is quite obsessed with him at the moment. Started about 3 weeks ago. Roger had to be taken everywhere, given super tight cuddles and is really treated as his baby.

Roger has an incontinence problem, so is normally seen wearing a nappy. He is sometimes dressed in a onesie. He is put in the rocker. He is put on his tummy for tummy time. He requires to be wrapped before bed, sometimes he needs a longer sleep than Ryan, so we must creep out of the room, so as not to wake him. Roger likes a drink of pretend milk out of a bottle.

I love that Ryan has this imaginative play. Mark was not big on it. He preferred to push a car around. Ryan is not a "player", he likes to run around, and throw/kick balls. He is also VERY big on playing Daddy to this bear of his. I'll upload a video in another post (from my phone) of this morning play... very cute.

Coping with a 20 month old.

I think I'm having trouble with the gorgeous Ryan. I have just admitted in writing here that Ryan is hyperactive, aggressive and destructive. Its completely true as well.
It's not all the time. Most of the time he's affectionate and sweet (always hyperactive though). But its the aggression that is worrying me.

Reading what Courtney said in the link above, and I shall quote:

In considering Pudge's behaviors, we could definitely classify most under two categories:
1. Behaviors that occur because she doesn't have the communicative skills to appropriately express herself (i.e. slapping an adult across the bottom or jabbing a peer in the chest to announce her arrival instead of using her voice to do it.)
2. Behaviors that occur because she is sensory seeking. (i.e. emptying toy boxes and laundry baskets and any drawer in the whole blessed house she can reach, tackling her brother, body slamming the shih tzu, etc.)

Pudge is an almost 3 year old girl with Down Syndrome, so her challenges are different. That being said, Ryan is still non verbal, he grabs me by my jeans and pulls or pushes me until I'm where he wants me to be, I know there is a voice in there, just want him to say "come here Mummy". The sensory seeking part is very very true (just wish I knew what it meant), he opens everything, pulls out stuff, goes through any open door, escapes at every opportunity. Ryan is also similar to Pudge in that he has a high pain tolerance. Give him a needle, he'll give you a dirty look. Fall over and get an egg on your head, rub it better and just a little cry. Smacks on the hand are greeted with amusement "why the heck did you do that?"


But onto the aggression. Mark is rough with him. Mark is very rough with him. They "play" constantly, in a throw you around, pretend to hit, trip you over, yell in your face. Mark never (well hardly ever) uses real words when around Ryan, its all "arrrrhhhhhh" and stupid laughing. Whenever Ryan starts to cry because Mark has taken it too far, "I was just trying to make him laugh" Who freaking cares about him laughing. Its teaching a wrong behaviour. Ryan is learning that aggression is ok, because Mark does it. Ryan will then choose his target - Ben. But Mark (sort of) knows when to stop, Ryan is still very young, and doesn't yet possess the skills to say, oh this might hurt Ben.

I seem to be stuck on a record player saying "time to calm down Mark", "stop screaming Mark", "that's enough Mark". What if my younger boys only remember me being angry with Mark?

The hyperactivity is crazy. He runs from the minute he wakes up. If he sits down, he will want a blanket on his knees (its cold here at the moment and we don't use our heater, we put blankies on our laps). Instantly the blanket is pulled up, he is standing up again, spins in a circle, sits down and does it all over again. This can happen 10 times in the space of one minute. The only relief Ryan gets is when he is in his high chair, bed or car. I wish sometimes he would just relax, but he doesn't seem to be able to. I take him outside to run around and kick the ball, but I never do it for long enough, so then there is a tantrum.


At least he still sleeps fantastically. 7:30pm until 7ish. Then a 2-4 hour nap in the day time. PHEW. But last night he woke at 12:30 and was awake until around 2:30am... strange.

Is it because of this challenging behaviour that I'm almost relieved to be going back to work? I feel a bit of a failure as a parent at the moment, I know I'm not. But the lack of talking is really getting me down. Last night our friends daughter said "I love you Daddy". She is about 3 months younger than Ryan! BUT she is a girl, the eldest and her mother is a trainee primary teacher.

Advice is most welcome.

Post Script.

We've relented a little.

Bed and nappy change ONLY for the dummy.

He has been pretty good with that.

He is a little bit little to be stopping completely at this stage.

**********

I had the best evening with Ryan yesterday. We played "kick to kick" for about half an hour. We had cuddles. He was clearly indicating what he wanted.. alas no words, but I knew what he was after.

The tale of the dummy.

Our dummies (or pacifiers) have always been blue, but this has been the saviour for the past 20 months of our lives. Not just Ryan, but Jamie, Mark and I as well.


Mark never took a dummy. So many of my friends say it too... I'm hearing that phrase belong to first born, healthy children. We have time to rock them to sleep, other "stuff" isn't as important.


Ryan's first day was in NICU (yes only his first day, but the dummy addiction started then). NICU give babies dummies. So from day one he had the blue thing stuck in his mouth. He has had it on a chain (for some reason I call it a dummy catcher), attached to his top 24 hours a day. Over the past 4 months, I guess from just before Ben was born, we started to give it only to him in bed. Take it off him when he got up. But often the little tyke would sneak back into his room, reach into his cot and retrieve the dummy. Two hours later... "where the heck did that thing come from?"


Then Ben was born, Ryan's little life was turned upside down, so I relented and let him have the dummy. The molar teething started, and I relented. Then he got a cold and I relented. Then I just couldn't be bothered, so I relented.


The addiction was entrenched.


Then in the past three weeks, he's been losing it. Taking it off of his own volition. This has been VERY painful, as the latest dummy was essentially clear and difficult to find. He would take the chain off when having a drink, dropping it "wherever". Tossing it when he got angry *which is frequent. The last straw was the biting. He bit holes in the teat, therefore making it a choking hazzard. I've had to buy several new dummies recently due to holes. At $5 a pop, I wasn't going to make a habit of it.


Tonight - 26 July 2011 he bit a hole and then chewed until the teat came off. He looked quite proud of himself. Jamie said "Ok, that's it, dummy is gone" I have to agree, its embarrassing to go out with a toddler who has a dummy. So we prepared. We talked to him, reassured him that although his safety net was gone, that we would still be here and he can go to sleep without it.


He SCREAMED, no make that S---C---R---E---A---M---E---D for a full hour. Threw his blankets away, threw Roger bear away, threw B1 away. Thrashed around the bed. I consoled him, Jamie consoled him. We gave him a drink, then he started screaming again, Jamie went back in, he'd done a big poo. Once cleaned, he lay down calmly with Roger under the blankets and actually drifted off to sleep. He's been asleep for 70 minutes now and I haven't heard a peep out of him. Maybe when he wakes up, he'll be sad. Tomorrow will be another challenge, but its nice to know it can be done - its his first time EVER!