Bath Time

Thinking he's cool

Checking themselves out in the mirror

Bogan

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New Years Eve

We stayed in.  Having a 2 and 4 year old makes it hard.  Ones that refuse a daytime nap and then turn into little psychos are not ones we can take out.

In our celebration of NYE, I got some sparklers.  It was the first time the boys had seen sparklers and they were amazed.

BTW Mark is with my parents at Phillip Island, I don't ignore or forget him.

So... what are you doing there Dad?

Sparkles start, smiles start.

Love the looks on their faces, having never seen them before.

No fear, just amazed.

Wow.

Thumbs up!

What do you mean you can't make it go again???

Another one before bed.. just for fun (then my battery died)

Then the fireworks start.  They are everywhere and often.  Two terrified dogs.  Looks like a minor injury on Charlie.  We get awfully cranky about fireworks.  They are illegal and they are going off everywhere - not just the city!

So 2013 was a challenge.
I started a new job, I still wonder if I made the right decision.  The pressure at my job is immense, but the satisfaction is too.
Jamie is still working night shift.  Seems to be in a better rhythm though.
Mark did reasonably at year 9.  I'm looking forward to a more productive year next year for Year 10.
Ryan is in the Pre-Kinder room at his creche.  He loves his teacher and she is awesome.  He's very good at sports and is getting the hang of riding his bike.  Toilet training went VERY well and transitioning to his big boy bed did too.
Ben moved up three rooms at crèche. He is now in the Toddler's room and is a friendly happy kid.  His drop offs are bad, but will improve.  His transition to a big boy bed was also marvellous.  Still have not started the toilet training, but will get to that around Easter time.

We went on our HUGE overseas holiday.
Worked too much.
Had a Christmas Holiday at the beach.
Worked too much.
Seemed to get sick an awful lot.
Turned 40!
Body wearing out.

My resolution for next is to be ORGANISED.  If I can be organised then all those other "normal" resolutions can fall into place (lose weight, exercise, eat better, do more fun stuff)  Part one of organisation is working - menu plan is done and freezer cooking is also done.

Thursday - crazy Thursday

I have Thursdays off.  The little boys do not have daycare on Thursdays.
Thursday are full on.

We always go swimming on Thursday, the boys have lessons.  Jamie stays up until after their lessons and then he goes to bed.

Today started with a bang.  Crying.  They both sooked, moaned, cried, whined and thoroughly drove me batty, and that was before 9am.  Jamie's mother wants to borrow Mark's keyboard to play at Zahli's christening next week, so Jamie got it out this morning.

Very serious Ryan, looks like Ben is trying to learn something off of him.

Now they are just jamming.

 Then it was off to swimming lessons, we are less than impressed with swimming this term.  Four kids to a class means you are getting no where fast.  Ryan's teacher still has him using 2 kickboards and he's just not keen.  Ben is bored out of his brain, he's still in the toddler/baby class and he's a bit beyond it, but he's too short (and very probably too young) to move up.  I think we'll see this term out and then take them ourselves - that'll take some discipline.

Next we headed off to the zoo.  I joined the zoo last year and it allows us free entry as often as we like.  Currently parking at the zoo is only $2 for the day and the toll to get there isn't too much.  Makes for a very economical trip.  Today was going to be a short visit and if I wasn't a member, I wouldn't have gone.  We only stayed a little under 2 hours.  The gorillas were not out and about.  We saw one tiger. The mandrills highly colourful backsides made us all laugh.  Some smaller monkeys were in fine form, jumping around and well.... doing something, so we stayed for ages watching them.  Ben kept turning around to me and saying "funny monkeys, did you see that?"  Then we went through to the elephants, took the standard photo.  Check out what difference a year makes.  By the clothing I would guess it was a similar time of year, although today was the warmest May day in 10 years, quite hot really.

Today - 9th May 2013

13 months ago - 2nd April 2013

This is a bird that Ryan thought was particularly charming, 

"you have to take a photo mum"

A little cart in the eatery part of the elephant zone of the zoo

Next stop was the park.  We went to Brimbank Park with Connie and her kids.  We took the bikes.  Ben can't ride his yet.  But we found a playground.  Now from the past couple of posts I have done, it may seem I'm favouring Ben in the photo department.  This is because when Ryan is with Toby, they run off and be silly.  So can't get a good pic.  Benno tends to stay closer to me and by jingo he's cute.

Very old playground.  Ben is driving the car.

A confused Ryan.  There was no slide to get down!  Needed to go back down the ladder. 

A cute little wooden motorbike.  Tailor made for Ben

Going backwards

It was my thing, my proud mamma moment, my smugness.

Ryan and toilet training.  Just before he turned 3 we decided to ditch the nappies as he was showing interest in the toilet and zoom, it was pretty much done.  Took approx 3 days, just a couple of accidents and then he got it.  After a month or so, it occurred to me that he was dry most nights too, so we ditched the night nappy too.  He never required to be reminded (yes smug), he woke himself up and then woke me up to go to the toilet over night.  It was great.  A little annoying as he woke up several times a night to go to the toilet, but I thought well he's waking up so don't complain - I may have complained a couple of times.

Then about 10 days ago.  He was drenched in the morning.
9 days ago.  Drenched at midnight.
8 days ago.  Drenched at midnight and again in the morning.
7 days ago.  Drenched at some point through the night.
6 days ago.  Purchased some pullups and explained they were undies and to wake up and go to the toilet.  Drenched - including the sheet - in the morning.
5 days ago.  Pull ups - wet.
4 days ago.  OK enough is enough, I'll wake him.  Midnight, fully wet pull up, 5am dry.
3 days ago.  Missed the midnight and drenched including sheet in the morning.
2 days ago.  Woke at midnight - wet pull up, tossed and turned in bed with me, but did not wet again until morning.
Yesterday.    Missed getting him up at midnight, wet pull up at 4.45am and then went to the loo and then DID NOT GO BACK TO SLEEP.

Get the picture?? Ok I was pretty clear about it.

Why would this happen?  I've been a little/a lot cranky lately.  The excitement of our holiday?  But he was SO good, and now is SO bad.  I've limited his milk tonight.  Will get him up as I go to bed, hopefully he'll go straight back to sleep.  And then wake him again at 4-5am and again please go back to sleep.  Its just so odd.  suggestions?  Anyone??

Long day

Hi!

Just thought I'd share my day... you know, with myself.

Up to have a shower before the little boys wake up, who am I kidding?
Both boys wake up at 6:55 and need a cuddle.  Put Mickey Mouse Funhouse on my phone and they both hang out on my bed watching that whilst I have my shower (this is a normal start to the day)
Wake Marko up and kick him out of bed, didn't want to get up today.  Even Ben says to him "in the shower" in a very bossy voice.
Ryan and Ben want Weetbix and thankfully they pretty much feed themselves.
Open the garage door for Jamie to come home.
Have the coffee machine ready for Jamie to make me a latte :)
Little boys want a hot chocolate, so have to make them for them, in Mark's special double walled cups.  Awesome milk moustaches in tiny faces.  Teach them to use the cloth napkins that I have made to wipe their faces.
Mark sees that hot choc is on offer, so make one more!

Just to let you know.  Ryan is naked for all of this.

Get two little boys dressed whilst they think they are playing a game of chasey - its challenging.

Make my lunch, convince Mark to make his own lunch (I do interact with Mark as well, give him a morning cuddle and then turn bossy).  Put the dishwasher on, take all of the recycling out and then put all the kids in the car to head off to work.

Drop Mark off at the shopping centre and he walks the a block and a half to school.  Head to childcare and drop of the littlies.  Ben's class was already outside and Ryan's class was learning about opposites (using flash cards)... when I picked him up I asked him "how did you go learning about opposites" the reply "oh mum, learning is hard"

Work was busy today. Lots of health assessments, careplans, flu vaccines, trying to put some order into the recall list, I feel I'm losing the battle with the recall list, not sure how much effort to put into it.

After work, picked up the kids and then dropped in home for a change of nappy and some spare clothes, then off to Connie & Paul's for dinner.  The boys love playing with Toby and looking/cuddling Zahli.  Had a super delicious dinner of schnitzel with a cornflake & parmesan cheese crumb, it was the best schnitzel I've ever had.  We ducked out for icecream and the boys were covered in chocolate creaminess.

Finally home at 7.45pm.  Boys went into the shower and Marko played his xbox. They are metrosexual kids, they like body wash of the puff rather than soap!  Then it was another game of chasey whilst getting them in their pjs.
Read three stories

 

Sang the usual songs - Bananas in Pyjamas, Twinkle Twinkle little star, Humpty Dumpty, If you're Happy and you Know it.

Milk for the fellas and then they went to sleep.

THEN... 4 loads of washing done and hung out. Marko emptied the dishwasher. I attempted some Easter craft, don't think it'll work, so I think it'll be a papermache basket for the Easter Egg hunt.

Of course I've also been Facebooking and writing this mammoth blog post.

Things I notice about today - no Jamie.  He came home from work at 7.30am, I left at 8am.  He left for work at 5.30pm, I got home at 5.35pm... yeah that works, thankfully that only happens on a Friday.

Now its 11pm, I forgot to have my Sifrol at 8.30, so the Restless Leg Syndrome is starting to kick in.  We are at day 6 of a heatwave, and its not due to break until Wednesday or Thursday of next week... every day over 30 degrees and its March.  I for one am sick of it.  Insomnia is easing, but I'm still not sleeping very well.

Need to relax

I'm not convinced the title will live up to what I'm posting about, mainly because I don't yet know what I'm going to post about.

Everything is getting the better of me these day, my fuse is short and I don't like it.

Some tough times.

I have NOT enjoyed the past 5 weeks.  Not one bit.

Jamie moved away for work.  So essentially I've been a single parent and I hate it.  I hate the lack of company in the evening, I hate not being able to share the load.

Mark started high school and we had some major anxiety to deal with.  Over the past three days, he's been suffering from a spasm-y stomach, the doc thinks it might be "migraine stomach aches".

Ryan has become super clingy, we attempted to put him in the "big boy bed" but after two weeks of hell, I convinced myself that it was ok to put him back in the cot, so I rearranged the boys room for the 5th or 6th time and his sleeping pattern normalised.  Daycare has been a nightmare for Ryan, he doesn't enjoy* being dropped off, he screams and carries on, clings to me like a koala and pretty much needs to be pried away by the staff who always reassure me that the day improves.  Currently Ryan is sick, he has a double ear infection and congested lungs.  He is on penicillin and ventolin (via a spacer & mask)

Ben is still brilliant.  He cut more teeth without a fuss, currently has 4 top teeth and two bottom teeth.  He commando crawls very quickly and is very inquisitive and quite independent.  He's not a great fan of cuddles but will give a kiss if you "pucker" at him.  He is very smiley and loves the remote controls, 5c pieces and food!  Ben also has a bronchospasm and is on ventolin via a spacer & mask.

I didn't cope with agency work.  Being called at 5am to cancel a shift or be given one is just not my cup of tea.  Dropping the boys off at 6am and dashing to my work with Mr Clingy was more than I could stand.  Thankfully I am starting my "real job" on Tuesday at St Vincent's Private Hospital, I'm stupidly excited about it.  I just have a great feeling that its going to be good.  That our work situation will work out.  Jamie will find a contract job at the airport down here that starts at 7 or 8am, so he can do the daycare drop off... men handle it so much better.... or is that Jamie will handle it better than me.

* this is a super understatement.

help, Help, HELP HELP HELP please

We're suffering, Ryan is not going to sleep at night. In the last months, lots of changes for him. Changes are as follows:

• Moved house - seems to have coped with that well.
• Lots of visitors - enjoys that.
• Mark went away for 2 weeks - but he loves Mark, don't go.
• Daddy went away - OMG he loves Daddy and now can't see him (last night he kissed Jamie's picture on my phone when he said goodnight)
• We moved him to a "big boy" bed the day before we knew Jamie had the job, and he left 5 days later and routine was not established.
• Started daycare 3 days per week.
• Changeable weather - can't help that one.
• Naps are erratic
• Mummy goes walking at strange times, leaving Ryan at home.

So with all that in mind, Ryan is having so much trouble falling asleep.
We do the wind down procedure,

• dinner - that is a whole other battle that I won't go into yet.
• bath - love love love the bath, its a frequent calmer down.
• relax in front of the telly, 
• story (ok I only started that yesterday, but they really enjoyed it, so it will continue *blush*)
• The kiss, tuck in and say goodnight.

The the drama starts, he comes out, he cries/screams, he comes out, he comes out he comes out.  All the time, Ben is in the same room, so his sleep is being disturbed.

I've done the "I've said goodnight, time to sleep, shut your eyes" He does this, then immediately returns.

I've growled, I've even smacked, I've been stony faced, I've been loving.  I've given a drink, I've given the silent treatment.  My main problem is when in the cot, he would scream, but in the bed, he just comes out screaming.

Help!

Next is the horrible wake up.
He wakes up screaming and thrashes about, yesterday he even butted his head on the ceramic tiles. This performance (which I try to ignore) goes on for 10-15 minutes.  If I cuddle Ben, he weaves his way in and pushes, hits or kicks Ben to get him out of the way.  Ryan is still essentially non-verbal, he will repeat words, but they appear to have no meaning.  He grunts and points, often at nothing in particular which makes it even harder.  Even Ben has taken to looking at him with a strange expression on his face.

I think the bed means he gets up before he wakes up properly and this is his wake up procedure.  When in the cot, I could hear he was awake but lay there and chatted to himself, even for half an hour before he "asked" to get up.

Mark is a big softie and any time he cries he wants to give him his dummy, even though we've made dummies a bed only thing.  His behaviour is making dummy-in-the-mouth an almost constant thing, which has given him an excoriation mark on his lip/chin.

Mark is desperate to help, but this usually means getting him out of bed for a cuddle, or hopping in his bed to calm him down, all of which will be a rod for Mark's back later on.

OMG, I'm suffering from lack of sleep.  Feeling guilt as  I have to give tons of attention to Ryan, so I feel I'm not giving Ben as much attention.  Its so hard.  I hate being a temporary single parent.  I want my webcam, but can't find it.

But at the moment, Marko is playing his xbox talking to his bestie,  Ryan is happily playing with a ball, Ben is wiggling around on the floor finding stuff to play with.

Changing ones mind.

As a mother I'm allowed to change my mind and realise my mistakes.  The hard part is explaining myself and holding true to myself.

I've stuffed up with Marko and his damned, stupid, irritating, life-sapping xbox.  I allowed him to play war games, I purchased them for him.  These are not just war, but graphic, realistic, blood splattering, violent war games, ones that are rated MA15+.  Not sure entirely why I ignored the rating when I got the first one.  He said "all my friends are playing it" I believed him and truth be told they are "all" playing it.

The latest and greatest of the Modern Warfare series came out this week.  I heard on the telly that England is trying to ban it due to its extreme violence, realistic graphics and scenes that are obviously based on the Underground bombings in London several years ago.  Mark is desperate for this game.  Desperate to the point of tears when told NO.

There are two reasons not to purchase this game in particular.
                             The violence.
                             The cost.

Mark's response is: "Its exactly the same as my other games"
Me: "You don't need it then, play the ones you've got"
Him" THis one is better"
Me: "Oh well, too bad, I've made my decision and its NO"

Tears! Slamming of doors! Aggression!  (Yet he swears black and blue that he is not being affected by these games).

He wants to know why he's allowed to play the old games and not the new one.  So I've offered to sell them all.  Didn't get a favourable response to that one.

I just don't know what to do at the moment.  I feel hypocritical.  I'd love to sell the whole damned system.  I want him to be a kid, go outside and play.  He is only interested in killing people on that stupid console.  Tomorrow we MUST put the timer lock onto it.  He has no self control with time.

Getting it off my chest.

Currently not coping with my lot.  I don't want to sound ungrateful, I'm terribly grateful.  I have a man who I love.  3 healthy children. A good job. Money. Family.  So please don't think I don't appreciate all that, but some days you just need a good moan.  So for this post, I don't plan to punctuate every sentence with "but I really love him" as that is a given.  This is straight up saying how I feel.

I'm not happy.

I'm not coping with my Ryan, he is 22 months old and at the moment it feels like he is never happy, he is sooky, selfish, grumpy, annoying and a poor eater.

Today he woke up at 5.30am, I gave him his milk in a cup and then put him back to bed.  He talked to himself until we got up at about 7am.  That is pretty good.  He isn't unhappy in his bed.  His breakfast this morning was poor, wouldn't eat half of his (one) Weetbix, sultanas and a drink.    Anything not eaten is thrown on the floor.  He is refusing to go into his highchair, back arching and screaming when I attempt it.  As for going out, don't get me started.  I'm hating leaving the house with him, he has become "that child" the one that screams.  He doesn't want to be in the pram any more (and I don't blame him, he's nearly 2), but I'm not entirely ready for him to walk.  When he walks, he runs away.  If I can get him in the pram, it feels like child abuse, pushing him in the chair.  Awful.  So how am I dealing with this.. by not going out without Mark or Jamie, or waiting until Jamie comes home and leaving the boys at home.  Hence they are not being socialised and not learning the proper social skills for out of the house.

I'm very stressed about his lack of language skills.  But am not willing to do anything about it until after our move.  Maybe I will.  Oh dear.  I'll call a speech path today and see what kind of cost/wait it is.

I'm stressed about Mark.  He is addicted to the xbox and I can't seem to stop him playing it.  That feels like a cop out as he's only 13 but its the truth.  Yesterday at the end of the day he calculated that he played for at least 7 hours.  That's not good.  I can't get him to do homework without threats and I don't like that.  This afternoon he needs new shoes, so we'll go shopping and then he can do some homework.

Ben is a dream except he has nappy rash which is making me feel like a bad mother.

Jamie is working so hard and I'm just riding him harder.  He have to have everything finished in about 6 weeks now, but I thought about it yesterday, he knew all year that we were moving, he's known for 3 years that we were renovating our kitchen.  I don't need to feel guilty about him doing 15-18hr days at the moment as it should have already been done!  Harsh but fair.  Plus when we get to Melbourne, he most likely will not be working, so can have a break then.

Coping with a 20 month old.

I think I'm having trouble with the gorgeous Ryan. I have just admitted in writing here that Ryan is hyperactive, aggressive and destructive. Its completely true as well.
It's not all the time. Most of the time he's affectionate and sweet (always hyperactive though). But its the aggression that is worrying me.

Reading what Courtney said in the link above, and I shall quote:

In considering Pudge's behaviors, we could definitely classify most under two categories:
1. Behaviors that occur because she doesn't have the communicative skills to appropriately express herself (i.e. slapping an adult across the bottom or jabbing a peer in the chest to announce her arrival instead of using her voice to do it.)
2. Behaviors that occur because she is sensory seeking. (i.e. emptying toy boxes and laundry baskets and any drawer in the whole blessed house she can reach, tackling her brother, body slamming the shih tzu, etc.)

Pudge is an almost 3 year old girl with Down Syndrome, so her challenges are different. That being said, Ryan is still non verbal, he grabs me by my jeans and pulls or pushes me until I'm where he wants me to be, I know there is a voice in there, just want him to say "come here Mummy". The sensory seeking part is very very true (just wish I knew what it meant), he opens everything, pulls out stuff, goes through any open door, escapes at every opportunity. Ryan is also similar to Pudge in that he has a high pain tolerance. Give him a needle, he'll give you a dirty look. Fall over and get an egg on your head, rub it better and just a little cry. Smacks on the hand are greeted with amusement "why the heck did you do that?"


But onto the aggression. Mark is rough with him. Mark is very rough with him. They "play" constantly, in a throw you around, pretend to hit, trip you over, yell in your face. Mark never (well hardly ever) uses real words when around Ryan, its all "arrrrhhhhhh" and stupid laughing. Whenever Ryan starts to cry because Mark has taken it too far, "I was just trying to make him laugh" Who freaking cares about him laughing. Its teaching a wrong behaviour. Ryan is learning that aggression is ok, because Mark does it. Ryan will then choose his target - Ben. But Mark (sort of) knows when to stop, Ryan is still very young, and doesn't yet possess the skills to say, oh this might hurt Ben.

I seem to be stuck on a record player saying "time to calm down Mark", "stop screaming Mark", "that's enough Mark". What if my younger boys only remember me being angry with Mark?

The hyperactivity is crazy. He runs from the minute he wakes up. If he sits down, he will want a blanket on his knees (its cold here at the moment and we don't use our heater, we put blankies on our laps). Instantly the blanket is pulled up, he is standing up again, spins in a circle, sits down and does it all over again. This can happen 10 times in the space of one minute. The only relief Ryan gets is when he is in his high chair, bed or car. I wish sometimes he would just relax, but he doesn't seem to be able to. I take him outside to run around and kick the ball, but I never do it for long enough, so then there is a tantrum.


At least he still sleeps fantastically. 7:30pm until 7ish. Then a 2-4 hour nap in the day time. PHEW. But last night he woke at 12:30 and was awake until around 2:30am... strange.

Is it because of this challenging behaviour that I'm almost relieved to be going back to work? I feel a bit of a failure as a parent at the moment, I know I'm not. But the lack of talking is really getting me down. Last night our friends daughter said "I love you Daddy". She is about 3 months younger than Ryan! BUT she is a girl, the eldest and her mother is a trainee primary teacher.

Advice is most welcome.

Gorgeous little boys.

Happy 4 month birthday to my little dude Ben Arthur. Time has gone so quick.

So being 4 months old means he had needles today. He's currently sleeping it off. He was really good about it, so good in fact that Ryan got a lollypop!

Ben is getting quite chunky, his face is filling out, he is full of gorgeous expressions. I just love him to bits.

Ryan is a handful, but then he's 20 months old. He's getting taller (just). But its his understanding that is amazing. As you know, we've restricted dummy usage. Now when he gets out of bed, he hands him dummy to me and we place it on his dresser. He also gets to suck on it during nappy changes (a trick that Roy taught us), this morning I asked for it back after his nappy change and he wouldn't open his mouth. So I said to him, its either give me the dummy or you go to your cot. No handing back of the dummy, so I put him to bed and he fell asleep. Also yesterday, I was sitting on the floor feeding Ben, I asked Ryan "please give mummy the remote" and I pointed to it (it was on the next chair) he walked over, picked it up and handed it to me. Excessive praise given. He's a smart cookie.

Mark is a teenager! He's totally obsessed with war video games, they are very *very* violent, so he spends most of his time killing people! As always, he's great with the little boys, although sometimes a little rough. Food and filling Mark is an issue. I feel I want to say another story, but I can't remember it.

I must find my camera cord, I need to upload photos.

I am older than I think I am.

I am amazed that I will be 38 years old in 3 months time. That is the age of a mom (yes I must use the American spelling of that, cos 38 is mom-ish).

What???

I am a mum????

Oh yeah, I forgot, I am mother to three boys and one of them is 13 years old.

I wore my favourite duffle coat the other day, every time I wear it I recall how I got it. My boyfriend at the time's step-mother gave it to me as she didn't want it any more. That was 20 years ago. I was given a second hand coat twenty years ago. That BLOWS my mind.

I've been out of high school for 20 years. I don't feel any different.

I still feel that Jamie and I are playing dress ups and our parents are going to tell us to come home.

We have control over the lives of our boys. I have to make decisions that will affect them for ever. Is Mark's playing of Modern Combat 2 going to turn him into a violent criminal and at his trial the prosecution lawyer will say, "his mother let him play M rated games, it was inevitable."

I was talking to Dee on the weekend and her reasoning behind letting 12/13 year old boys play violent video games is that back in our day, Rambo was meant to turn us all into killers, back in ancient Rome, they went to gladiator matches. That famous quote of Socrates shows that kids have always been defiant and should turn out ok

"Our youth now love luxury. They have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for their elders and love chatter in place of exercise; they no longer rise when elders enter the room; they contradict their parents, chatter before company; gobble up their food and tyrannize their teachers."