My original baby is 15!

That  is just ridiculous.  He can't be 15.  He's still a boy.  We've had a pretty good time Mark and I.  Started out just the two of us, spent every moment together, then we started uni together.  He went to the daycare on campus and I did my nursing degree.  We met and started dating Jamie.  Then we moved in with Jamie.  Then we moved together and started new lives in the same week.  He started kinder/prep and I started my new grad year.  Anyway blah blah blah.

Some good past stories about Mark are: his birth, and starting high school.  Looking back over this blog, he seems to frustrate me, but he is also fabulous.

Anyway he turned the big one five today.  He is officially allowed to watch an MA movie, he's officially allowed to play the xbox games he has been playing for the past 3 years.  The 365 day count down to getting his learners permit has commenced.

This evening we had the family party.  It was awesome.  Such a friendly occasion.  All the kids got along.  Everyone ate.  Good singing of the favourite Happy Birthday song.  Such a shame my in-laws live so far away.

My mini photo shoot - all my kids and all the cousins in the same pic.  First time ever got them all at once.  For those who don't know, from left to right is: Roy, Sheena, Ben, Mark (the big one), Zahli, Toby and Ryan.  A selected few.

Nice, but Mark looks bewildered.

All the littlies are great, Mark looks "blue steele"

Happy with this one, but wacky Sheena.

Ryan is doing a silly smile.

Happy kid

Just prior to blowing out the candles.

The huge family dinner.

First Day of Year 8

My biggest boy started school this morning, and as usual, nerves took hold.

It really looks like a nice school.  Very big, about 1400 kids from year 7 -12.  His old school had around 800 but only 7-10.

The uniform is nice, grey shorts/pants, a white shirt, white socks and black shoes.  Sport uniform is green shorts and a green shirt, which to me begs the question, why the heck are there two uniforms, make the whole lot the sport uniform and be done with it.

Changes from Waratah to Gladdy Park are:

• Lockers
• Your own personal copy of the text books
• Diary
• 6 classes a day, not 5

Gladstone Park appears to be the school Waratah wants to be.  There is a full gym (along with exercise equipment), 300 seat theatre, hockey, basketball, AFL, soccer, cricket, and handball areas.  Lovely grounds.

We did a dummy run yesterday - took us 40 minutes to walk there, Mark later in the day rode there in 10 mintues!

Today I drove him, tomorrow (depending on how today went) will be on the bike.

I hope he will allow me to take a photo when he gets home.  Fingers crossed.

Changing ones mind.

As a mother I'm allowed to change my mind and realise my mistakes.  The hard part is explaining myself and holding true to myself.

I've stuffed up with Marko and his damned, stupid, irritating, life-sapping xbox.  I allowed him to play war games, I purchased them for him.  These are not just war, but graphic, realistic, blood splattering, violent war games, ones that are rated MA15+.  Not sure entirely why I ignored the rating when I got the first one.  He said "all my friends are playing it" I believed him and truth be told they are "all" playing it.

The latest and greatest of the Modern Warfare series came out this week.  I heard on the telly that England is trying to ban it due to its extreme violence, realistic graphics and scenes that are obviously based on the Underground bombings in London several years ago.  Mark is desperate for this game.  Desperate to the point of tears when told NO.

There are two reasons not to purchase this game in particular.
                             The violence.
                             The cost.

Mark's response is: "Its exactly the same as my other games"
Me: "You don't need it then, play the ones you've got"
Him" THis one is better"
Me: "Oh well, too bad, I've made my decision and its NO"

Tears! Slamming of doors! Aggression!  (Yet he swears black and blue that he is not being affected by these games).

He wants to know why he's allowed to play the old games and not the new one.  So I've offered to sell them all.  Didn't get a favourable response to that one.

I just don't know what to do at the moment.  I feel hypocritical.  I'd love to sell the whole damned system.  I want him to be a kid, go outside and play.  He is only interested in killing people on that stupid console.  Tomorrow we MUST put the timer lock onto it.  He has no self control with time.

What a week.

Still hanging out, this week I've been hanging out with Margie and we've talked so much. Quite amazing that we still have stuff to talk about.

I've had my niggly pains all week. They are strong in the evening and then go away. Hurts most going from sitting to standing, means I'm not standing up too straight.

I have seriously thought it would happen during this week, quite annoying that it hasn't. I really don't want to be induced, I'm not looking forward to ringing the delivery suite tomorrow, I feel they will try to talk me out of it. They ALWAYS try to talk me out of it. Quite sick of that really.

Had an emotional breakdown the other night, sobbed and sobbed. All just nerves and anxiety of the unknown. Worried about how to parent two little kids and my almost teenager.

Oh that is some good news, phoned the school to ask how Mark was going as I can't make it to the parent/teacher interview night which is on Monday (the year level adviser said I had a pretty good excuse), so I spoke with Mr Dibley who said that Mark was a bright, polite, respectful boy and his name hadn't come up at any of the meetings - which is a great thing as they really only discuss the troublemakers - so I'm a very happy mum! He said he has been nominated for some academic awards that will be presented at the assembly in the second week back in term two! Doesn't mean he'll get them, but the nomination itself is pretty damned brilliant! My son - an academic award - the two just don't quite go together. But as I have mentioned previously, he did well in his science assignment, has passed the practical part of music, is doing fantastic in PE (well duh, totally the opposite of his mum there), is great at maths, after a serious almost fail on an early test where he got 50%.

Our lives are slowly being engulfed by football. It seems to be the main topic of conversation either between Jamie and I, and of course most of our friends. Its going really well and I do (sort of) hope I can be there for the first game. I get to watch two of my boys play tomorrow (Mark as a player and Jamie as the umpire!!!) so actually its all three of them, because Ryan is a little goer and chases the ball down at every opportunity.

MUST REMEMBER TO TAKE MORE PHOTOS.

School days

After weeks of stressing out about everything to do with this blasted Science Assignment, I give the result... can you see that in the second picture - 55/60.

How that mark has increased a certain 12 almost 13 year old boy's confidence. Its allowed him to think that with just a little bit of effort, he can achieve what is required and a whole lot more. The pressure I put on him to use his own words, not to copy, has paid off. He's proud of himself.

A facebook friend - Hannah - said she was marking high school assignments last night and actually wrote on one child's work, "I have google too"

Trying to instil in him a bit of self respect. He is much better behaved at football, he was one of the "bad" kids, not listening, but got some positive feedback from his coach on Wednesday has made him feel good about himself.

That is what my dearest son needed - PRAISE.

Relaxing and waiting.

Bub slept in until 8am, Mark woke me at 7:30 and I didn't get up, he said "please get up, I want to talk to you", talk to me here darling (like Florence Nightingale, I'm holding court on my bed), and he did. Funny kid, he has an excursion on Friday to the Stockton Sand dunes for sand boarding (bloody fun) and he told me today that they are doing more than just sand boarding, they will be on a 4WD bus and then to the aquatic centre, well duh... I read the note. Trying to get him to read stuff is like pulling teeth.

I read last night of a blogger who is giving up Facebook for Lent... couldn't do it, well maybe I could, but don't want to do it. I should be on it less. I like that I don't Farmville any more, but commenting on status updates is my addiction.

Mamamia.com.au is down this morning, but its just come back online. Phew...
"ALL children need is to know that they are loved" is first line of the article, should be nice I hope. It was by Catherine Deveny, whom I normally can't stand, she has a stand-up show called "God is Bullshit", gee ain't that nice! But this bit of parenting advice is pure gold. Kids don't need their own room, every toy that hits the shelf, they can eat Weetbix for dinner occasionally... but the main thing they need to know is that they are loved. Awww.

Our plan of getting our business to rank better in Google, and then make us more money has made Jamie interested in this baby blog, Facebook and well not quite Twitter, but maybe. He is really working on Search Engine Optimisation. Takes a lot of time, but seems to be worth it.

Pregnancy related news - namuch. My feet have swollen to epic proportions but that makes the RLS not be so bad. Twinges in my abdo all the time, but not labour, heightened anxiety, very low threshold to aggravation. Poor Mark is bearing the brunt of it. He doesn't listen to me! He thinks its funny when Ryan falls over (which in a way, it is funny), so he'll push him, or trip him, or grab a leg, so that he has to fall over. I say to stop, and Mark pretends not to hear, so I say stop then I yell.
Last night Ryan found a small glass on the floor, and was walking with it, holding it carefully. I had my eye on him, next thing I saw that Mark had Ryan's ankle, "don't hurt him or make him fall" I said. Next thing over he goes! I speak for a reason, he could hurt himself. Oh I didn't mean to make him fall. UTTER BULLCRAP. So I yell again, and Mark does the pathetic "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to"

I think Mark thinks I'm just riding him, being mean, but I want a calm happy household that doesn't yell, and I'm the yeller! I know its b/c I'm stressed, but don't know how to de-stress at the moment.

The thought of labour is scaring me, what if we have a problem again? What if I can't contact Jamie? What if it happens really quickly? What if this baby dies? How will i cope with two babies? What if he's not healthy? See all these what ifs? I'm sick of being in constant ache (its not pain, but ache), I want to have him today, I'm super stressed. PLEASE let this baby come today.

Whiplash

Thankfully not a car accident.

Mark's attitude and behaviour. It is as changeable as ... I was going to say the weather but as its consistently hot here, that's not gonna work. Lets just say its changeable.

He even approached me this morning with 10 minutes to go before the bus arrived to say "I might just finish off my history homework" so with an explanation of what chronological means and why the centuries are called what they are, homework got finished. The HUGE science assignment got finished last night - its due on Wednesday. His music assignment was handed in early.

He's pleasant, co-operative and really really wants money! If that's his driving influence, I don't particularly care. I'm not giving him more pocket money than he deserves, but am happy to pay it if the chores are done.

* I know I've used this pic before, but its so cute.*

More challenges of raising children.

Once again, this involves my extremely handsome eldest son. This is more for me, as a diary entry, but feel free to read if you want.

Yesterday was the commencement of football training. Mark does not particularly enjoy football, he is quite good at it though. Mark (as I've mentioned before) does not particularly like anything, maybe with the exception of his iPhone.

So yesterday Mark and his mate M came to our place together. I'm unsure of my position about M anymore, he was gorgeous last year, polite, friendly and generally nice. He has become much more worldly now. Mark says he is at his friends place very often, they spent most of the school holidays at the pool - as far as I can tell unsupervised. These are 12 year old boys? I don't get it. But anyway, M said hello to me and that was about it. They came out here to use the computer, I did a couple of spring in visits to make sure it was appropriate - must remember to check the history on my profile. They were just Facebooking another boy from school. Anyway I think Mark feels this boy is super cool... and needs his approval.

Jamie arrives home, Mark refuses to feed the dogs or check the balls to see if they are pumped up (note: Jamie already mad at Mark) because he has a friend over. When they finally arrive home from training around 7pm. I could hear the yelling in the car. When they come inside:
J: Tell mum what you did?
M: silence
It turns out, one of Mark's team mates B came to Jamie after the training to chat, Jamie was talking up the team, saying there are some real guns this year, ready to play their hardest. B then said "if only the kids wouldn't muck up at training, it makes it so hard" he's talking about Mark, M and C (a very wayward chap, who is quite charismatic). Mark was refusing to do what his coach asked, he didn't want to do a lap, or do sprints... or it seems do anything.

The coaching has changed this year, Ross is the coach of the U14s and not Jamie (he's coaching the littlies U10 - a very disciplined team). Ross has the hard job. These boys are in puberty, several challenging children, and attitude like nothing else. The boy mentioned above C, is the worst offender, if he was the only challenge it is a HUGE challenge. Ross does not need Mark helping C out by mucking up. And blah blah blah on it went.

We'd made a deal with Mark only a week or so ago, that if he tries his hardest, he can have an XBOX 360. Jamie said one more training session like that and the deal is off the table. Mark then made the face and I said to him "don't you dare say you don't care" and there was a little smirk, yes that was exactly what the face meant.

Then I added to it... if the back answering and disrespectfulness continues at football, he will lose his iPhone - forever, not just a week. OMG! That is kicking him where it hurts. He said something along the lines of ok.

This morning I asked what he thought about our discussion last night. He said it wasn't fair that I was taking his iPhone away from him. I told him I have no such intention and it was completely up to him. All he has to do is concentrate for 1.5hours twice a week, so what his coach asks of him and try his hardest. As long as he doesn't muck up, he keeps his phone! Easy, its good parenting.

I was then told, "No mum, its actually really bad parenting" I love it when he says that. Like he knows!

************

Anyway we all made up soon after, Ryan gave us all cuddles. This was extremely cute.

He was laughing and crawling around like a maniac, I called him over and put my arms out "Ryan come for a cuddle", a HUGE smile came over his face and he crawled over, climbed up and gave me a cuddle and a kiss. Marko then sat onto the floor about 5 Ryan steps away from me and put his arms out, he stretched his arms out and walked over to give Mark a big cuddle and maybe a kiss, then Jamie arrived and did the same thing, and he gave his dad a big cuddle. Then it was back to me. Some of it he walked, some he crawled. But man it was cute.

Mark's birth story, and other memories from long ago - from my faded memory.

Sorry - digital photography was not around at this time, so there is a lack of appropriate photos... lots to read though.

I've not written about Mark's birth before. He was 10 days late! Braxton Hicks contracts for about two days before hand, then on the 12th June, 1998 at 2am I got my first contraction. I remember I was lying on the couch at mum & dad's house (where I was living at the time) because my sleep was pretty crap back then (deja-vu). I know it caused me to wake up and stand up in the the space of one second. I woke mum (cos I'm really nice like that) and she ran me a bath, I sat in the bath, or wandered the house in the beginning of my labour. I don't recall it being too awful, the contractions were far-ish apart and it was all managable except during the actual contractions. Around 5ish Mum cracked it and woke up Vince (my then sort-of partner and Mark's birth father who was also staying at their place) and told him to get dressed and help! Mum and Vince didn't get along so good, everyone including me knew he wasn't the right man for me.

So around 6ish we called the hospital - St George's in Kew when it was a maternity hospital - and they said to come in. The drive too 3 contractions to get there.. so maybe 15 minutes.

When we got there, Vince had to book me in, as he was my "partner" what a crock, should have been Mum. Anyway... I'll try and continue without further barbs at Vince ok.

I was taken to a birthing suite and the midwife hooked me up to a CTG machine, which is a belt around the belly to check on the heart rate. Then the midwife left... or collective memory says at least an hour. I wasn't suffering too much, had the gas for the contractions, but I was pretty crap at using that. My birth plan stated I wanted to walk, sit on the big ball, have a shower and here I was trapped in the bed with a CTG machine around my belly. Mum was doing all the "work" relaxing me, Vince held my hand (oops was that a barb?)

I think from about 8ish I was starting to lose the plot, yelling at people that "I don't want to breathe" when they suggested I breathe the gas through the contractions, the midwife asked "would I like some pethidine".. (again my birth plan said no pethidine because it makes the baby floppy") I remember this statement that I made "Am I in enough pain yet for pethidine", the midwife suggested that I was. So pethidine was given... noice.

After about another hour of me losing the plot, including an internal examination that showed I was only 3cm dilated (bring on the tears). They suggested I have an epidural... yes please.

Epidural on board, watching the CTG machine show that I was having another contraction, that is the nicest thing to watch, know you should be in excruciating pain, but what you are doing is watching a line go up. But the other line (baby's heart beat) was showing the exact opposite. Each contractions caused Mark's heart beat to drop to about 50bpm, which for a baby is very very low. So about 10.30 someone (probably the obstetrician) came in and said "having a few issues, so we might just have to get this baby out) so emergency Caesarean it was.

I was all prepped for theatre, already had the epidural, Vince was coming in to watch as well. When we were all ready for the operation to start, I remember thinking where the hell is he, he's holding up this operation, I bet he's chatting up some nurse. Later he told me, he was dressed in the scrubs within 5 minutes and they made him wait. Sorry Vince, my bad.

Operation "Chop Christy Open" begins, birthing the shoulders I felt, otherwise it was marvellous. Vince was so excited, "I got to see your guts, no one else has ever seen your guts before."

Then we got to see the gorgeous little Mark Emmanuel Orset (as he was originally called) we later officially changed his name to Mark Emmanuel Lantz to make his schooling and essentially his life easier. He was still a little bloody, had what looked like red curly hair, in retrospect, he had the tiniest amount of blonde hair that had blood on it. His eyelids were swollen, and were for about a month... the reason, the cord was wrapped around his neck twice, sort of strangling him. Well that's my theory.

Off to recovery and I was drugged out of my brain, high as a kite actually. I was lying in my bed with my leg bent - my knee was outside of the covers, I remember asking in my drugged voice "what's that big white thing down there?"
"That's your leg, love" OMG that's soooo fuuunnnnnyyyyyy.

I was hooked up to a drip for about the next day and a half. Vince slept on the floor next to me. Marko roomed in with us. Breast feeding was a little problematic mainly due to the sheer number of different midwives all with slightly different theories on how it should work. I recall one woman walking in, asking me to "get ready" and then she started to flick my nipple with her finger... still not too impressed about that. Don't you think she should have asked for permission first?

Despite an emergency caesarean section, I insisted on being discharged after 4 days, as I knew Vince was leaving to work at the snow. We had about 3 days together. I was pretty low, Mum drove us to the edge of the city and Vince got out and started to hitch hike to Mt Buller and really out of our lives. I know he called me a few times, the 2am drunk call when he professed undying love for me (total bullshit and I called him on it), I remember yelling at him, I'm looking after your son whilst you are partying at a ski resort (oh and a little cleaning) and you wake me up at 2am with lies???? (oops I did it again).

Anyway after that HUGE life changing week. I was only 24 years old, newborn baby, crumbling relationship, we managed to pick ourselves up and get on with the business of loving the most amazing little baby who has grown into a great kid. Yes I have my problems with him, but really just totally normal teenager issues, we want him to do stuff, he doesn't want to do it! Simple as that.

Mum remembers there were hours where Mark would be lying on my lap and I would just be looking at him. No wonder we're so close. Anyway after about 18 months, I was still living at home. I was on the single parent pension and my dad said "OK Christy, this isn't going to be forever like this, what are you doing with your life, go back to work at a lab, or go to uni or something, you cannot be a pensioner". He was so right. I didn't want to go back to Melbourne Pathology where I was the shit kicker, no where to go in that company without uni, and I knew the scientists didn't do too much more than what I did, so there was little point in becoming a Medical Laboratory Scientist. But I did like the idea of nursing (they are nice people, I'd like to be nice) so I started my nursing degree in 2000 when I was 26 years old.

Also in that time period, Vince and I totally broke up, we had a couple of weekends at Mum & Dad's caravan in Eildon so he could get to know Mark, but it was all fruitless. I spent a lot of hours on the computer in that new thing called the "internet", I chatted to lots of guys on ICQ... went a little wild (oops again), and then somehow started talking/typing to a guy in Tullamarine who worked strange hours so was available to talk to me when I was online (remember dialup). Anyway we talked for hours and hours, he was nice, but I wasn't in love. One day we suggested we might meet for a drink. I didn't know this fella from a bar of soap really. So we agreed to meet at a pub half way between our houses, and we'd each bring a friend. I took Jo and Jamie brought Dave (who didn't admit he had a girlfriend and tried to chat up Jo - sorry Kirsty if you read this) we had a nice evening, but no sparks at all. But we kept on chatting, cos we got along really well. But by Easter of 2000.... well we were a fully fledged couple and haven't looked back. Jamie accepted Mark without question, Margie I believe was a little wary of Jamie's girlfriend who had an 18 month old son! But she loves me now.

Sub-Tropical Summer

Now this is what I'm talking about.

Warm and muggy in the morning, then an afternoon thunderstorm complete with hail. We loved it. I think I even saw lightening touch the road outside my house.

Ryan was engrossed in it. I tried to take a photo of him looking out the window at the rain, but then he caught me with technology in my hand and had to leave his window spot and attack me. He did jump a bit at some of the thunder, but then that makes sense cos it was REALLY LOUD.

Wonder how my dearest eldest boy is going at camp. I'm not usually a worrier, but he seemed so vulnerable this morning. Sitting looking lonely all by himself. He even gave me a kiss goodbye - was not expecting that. I thought he'd have a big posse of kids that he hung with.. but no. Will chat with him on the weekend. I wonder if they were in the middle of the lagoon canoeing or on a long hike when the storm hit. Certainly will make for interesting stories when he gets home............. tomorrow.

Must get some jobs done, I've been quite melancholy today and have done bugger all.

Pre-camp Jitters.

Mark is off to his first high school camp. Its only in Glenrock Lagoon, in Kahibah. Which I think is kind of funny, as its only 20 minutes away. Its an overnight excursion, where they have to take everything, including a sleeping mat and a "mess kit". So thankfully it was only $40.

Young Mark has no sense of urgency, none at all. I suggested we pack on Sunday evening, the reply was a filthy look and that's just stupid. So yesterday after school, I said "lets pack" and that was greeted well. So we packed, luckily I went through it, he only had 2 t shirts and they had asked for 4, the same with shorts. I ironed his name on everything that would stay still for me. I wasn't letting his have Jamie's mag torch, so he doesn't have a torch, otherwise he's got everything. We told him to leave his iPhone at home, I was expecting this to be ignored, but thankfully he has left it at home. The note said no electronic devices, I'm sure he'll be the only one without an iPod type thing.

So off to school this morning with so many year sevens and a handful of parents. I managed to have a nice conversation with the deputy principal, who I said I hope we never get to know. She was lovely and new to the school, she said it has a fabulous vibe, they have meetings all the time about the children - something that would be rebelled against at other high schools, but its the norm here - she said of course they have their troublemakers, but its shifting. They are working hard at improving the culture of the school. So happy that I chose that school, I know its probably the same at all schools, but I really like the uniform too.

High School.

Its such a big day. Mark starts high school today.

He's organised (as much as Mark can be), and already at school. I made him catch the bus, feel a little guilty about that, but if it doesn't start on day #1, I know he'll be at me to drive him all the time. He was the first person on his bus, but the route starts only 500m from our place.

He set his alarm (on his iPhone of course) and was up at 7.10am, washed his face, brushed his teeth, did his hair, got dressed in his very handsome uniform. He didn't have breakfast due to extreme nervousness, but he's not a breakfast at home kind of guy. I packed his lunch - a roast beef, lettuce and chutney sandwich, an LCM bar, an apple and a flask of water, I froze half of it last night so it would be cold. Its burning hot here today, top of 36, so he'll be all sweaty when he gets home.


We went a little early to the bus stop - about 20 mins early - so had to wait. Ryan and I waited until the bus came, we waved, wished him good luck, and blew him kisses (luckily he was the only one on the bus at this point)


I'm so sorry that I won't be home when he gets home today. I have a clinic appointment at the hospital at 2.15 and to be honest, I think school finishes at 2.15 on Mondays - so the teachers can do their planning meetings or some such bullshit. So I will have some afternoon tea set out for him. Then I can be ready for when we get home to have my ears talked off (I hope!)

Everyone, fingers crossed that he gets "good" kids in his class, that he won't be seduced by the naughty kids and that he makes really great friends that are interested in school, have nice parents and are not bitchy :)))

I need help!

Advice time please.

My dearest son, Mark, is now 12.5 years old. It appears he is in the midst of puberty.
Check out the photos.... this one was from one year ago - probably to the day - he is a boy, young fresh and innocent!

This one is from a couple of weeks ago, the face shape has changed, he is bigger, his feet have become flippers! You know what I mean.

My problem is constantly asking for stuff and saying no to everything. Yes I'm aware this is quite normal, but how does one deal with it.

EVERY single day, he says "I don't want a shower", and it truly is every single day. Mark is a sweater, he has the beginnings of acne. I want him to take pride in himself, being clean, nice smelling and caring for his skin. In the bathroom, we have lots of different cleansers for pimple prone skin.. he is still fighting using it. I've explained that he's not doing it for me, but for his own self esteem. He is a very good looking boy, he doesn't need acne, if it comes despite us trying well that is one thing, but not trying at all is failure. His hair is always greasy and his skin is sticky from sweat. It doesn't seem to bother him, but we're a modern family and have access to clean water and it is cultural to have daily showers. Why does he fight this. At 6.45am this morning he came into my room and whispered in my ear, not fully checking if I was awake... "Oh mum, I don't want a shower this morning ok?"
So we have a fight at 6.45am.. yes that's a nice way to start ones day.

Other issue is money and shopping.
He has no concept of money and its worth. We haven't done pocket money, not really sure why, but it hasn't' worked for us. I must admit, I spoiled him as a younger kid, when we went shopping, I'd get him a Matchbox car, they were only $3 and it was a nice thing to do. Now his tastes have changed. Its Nerf guns he wants. "This one is only $20 mum, its really cheap", "This one is only $50 and its really rare" and of course I say no. Then he stomps off, then he gets in my face and asks over and over and over and over again. So I have to say no over and over etc... well you get the picture. So then it changes to oh seems I can't have a Nerf gun, can I have a coke, a chocolate bar, a movie, a new pair of shoes, a hat, a ball, a donut, a book (oooh mum you want me to read) and it continues until I get so cross I nearly cry. So instead of saying "no" once, I have said it 15 times and he's almost crying and so am I.
We often discuss that its not fair to ask for things all the time, that we have a limited income and will soon have three kids. He understands that and then the comment "If I be good for this trip and don't ask for anything, can I have a clear **insert whatever blasted thing he wants**"

HOW DO I RESPOND TO THIS?

I'm 23 weeks pregnant, someone who can't cope in heat, and its hot, I have a small baby, I don't sleep very well, I get worn out. He wears me down, sometimes I give in, probably too often which is why he keeps it up. But my last comment makes the most sense. If I spend $20 on something for Mark each time we go out (which he seems to expect, and no I don't indulge him that often) when Ryan and the new baby are bigger that is $60... we can't afford that, no one can. Its totally wrong to indulge that much anyway, I'm aware of that.

My mother has suggested that we start giving him an allowance and all his indulgences he has to pay for himself. That makes sense, what is a good figure for allowance? We plan to give him a prepaid phone for Christmas, one for him to text his friends and call me, so that will be about $30 every two months... that is my expectation. I can see that being a huge battle when the credit runs out.

We also have issues with extreme screen time, he will be on the computer from the minute he walks in the door until he goes to bed given the choice. That is 6 hours!!! I have to drag him away to do his chores which are a really basic feed the dogs and empty the dishwasher daily. Mow the lawn and generally help out when asked. But its such a chore.

Ok I'm going to stop now, I really need help, Mark is living with us for at least the next 5 years, we have to live in a way that doesn't require me to yell... cos that doesn't work either.

Tweenies

How do you deal with your tween?

Mark turned 12 last week. He had a fabulous day, lots of presents, food he wanted, centre of attention. Just the way he likes it. He was amazingly lovely.

Today, I got the "other" Mark, the one I'd prefer to call Kram (the anti-Mark).

Kram is awful. Disrespectful. Rude. Disobedient. Smelly. Messy. Tired. Grumpy.

Case in point: Last night was the final performance of StarStruck which is a big song and dance show for approx 3000 kids from the entire Hunter region. Mark is not a singer or a dancer, but I think saw it as a way to get out of school and experience something different (ok I'll give him the benefit of the doubt). The evening performances finish at 10pm, I had to collect him at 10:15pm then its home to bed. Last night I had to bring his friend Mads as well as we all do football on Sunday mornings. Everyone thought it would just be easier if he stayed over. Makes sense. But having a friend over - who is a thoroughly delightful although a little worldly boy - brings out Kram. When I suggested that it was 11.15 and they should go to bed. I got the "WHY?" we can stay up until 1am without any problems. He was in my face saying WHY WHY WHY. I stuck to my guns.. they were in bed and fast asleep by 11.40. These boys were TIRED. But for Kram to listen I had to turn into a banshee and I don't like that. That is not my personality. I had to threaten to hit him. I have taken away all his computer/tv/scooter privileges for today. But as I said "until tomorrow" I got the shrug with "I don't care" comment.

They both had trouble waking up (surprise surprise) and then pretty much refused to get ready for a pretty important football match. Jamie likes to leave at 8am, at 8:10 Kram was still fussing around. But it all happened and they have left. Ryan isn't so well, so I'm staying at home.

I asked Jamie for some back up and got "that's how he treats me at football training"

I don't know what to do. I know he's a good kid, I see the good kid. What changes him and how do I deal with it?

Any suggestions would be much appreciated.

Sunday

HOT HOT HOT.

I got my own way though.... turned the AC on at about 11am and left it on all day.

Mark and I had a bit of *Psych* fest, Jamie surpisingly enough spent most of the day at his computer and because of the extreme heat we had the dogs inside for most of the day.

My main issue at the moment is Mark. He is wanting to be on the internet 24/7. He is on Facebook all of the time, chatting to his school friends, playing Farmville and other varied games on the internet. I had (in my pathetic current state) let it slide, Jamie has been SO busy with work, MyNetHost and web designing that he has not really been very present for the past month. Last night we (J&I) discussed his internet usage and how to curtail it a bit. We came up with about 1 hour per day. Of course when I told Mark this was the new rule, he balked, he balks at everything. He was online quite a bit today, but when going outside is NOT an option and leaving the cool of the lounge room is NOT an option, I think we went quite well, he stopped and started. Did some minor changes to his farm, but not a huge one. Managed to help tidy up the lounge and kitchen and spent a bit more time engaging with the family. Plus I think he enjoyed having the dogs inside.

My challenge is going to be thru the week. As you may or may not be able to see, it is currently 1.10am on Sunday night/Monday morning, so I tend to sleep in. Mark still wakes up about 7am, and lately has not even come in to say good morning, but goes straight to the computer and logs on! When I get up about 8ish it a challenge to get him dressed, breakfasted, lunches made etc. Everything is a drama. I've tried saying OVER AND OVER to be completely ready for school before touching computer. Doesn't work. I know I'm a softie, a huge push over. But short of yelling all the time and threatening, how do I enforce the rules? To be totally honest, I get no help from Jamie. He'll just ban him from everything and then go to the computer and zone out. Its me that has to cope with the tears, the "OMG I hate him", life is so unfair and what can we do?

Jamie is always saying he'll take him over to the nets to practice cricket... but there is always some drama with the computer that takes his attention away. FRUSTRATING.

So my hope is tomorrow for it to be MUCH cooler, that way after school, Mark and I can walk the dogs and unleash some energy before he goes onto the computer.

Now don't get me started on cleaning his room, showering, cleaning teeth, picking up clothes, putting clothes away, going to be on time, feeding the dogs without being told (despite it being his main chore for the past two years), helping around the house in any way shape or form. But looking at his male role model... well I'm not surprised.

Any suggestions out there on how to instill a sense of self and helpful attitude in an 11 year old boy whose life is about to change completely because of a baby brother arriving some time in the next three weeks????? Please help.

Cross Country

Back in the good old days when I was at school, I used to fake asthma on the cross country running days so I wouldn't have to run. I hated it that much. Mark loves sprinting, he's not a fan of long distances,or so I thought.

On the Saturday afternoon Mark rolled his ankle. We went ice skating on Saturday night. He tried to get out of AFL on Sunday morning saying his ankle hurt - he ended up playing in two games. Monday morning, he said "I need to stay home as my ankle hurts, it will be so boring not being able to run in the cross country".

Anyway. I collected him from OOSH and he had a funny look on his face.
"I did terrible in the cross country, last, after all of the boys and even all of the girls"
Oh well I thought, you do have a sore ankle.
HUGE SMILE "As if, I came first".

MY BABY CAME FIRST, in a 4km run. The assistant teacher suggested he run at a steady jog rather than sprint, so as not to wear out. And it worked.

He's off to the Zone Cross Country Run on Friday. I'll report in how he went.

Not sure what to title this one!

Thought I'd just say hello again.

Suffering from insomnia again - only 12.30 - but its annoying.

I had some funny stories about Mark but I can't remember them.

Something bizarre that happened yesterday. After work I was SOOO exhausted that I went straight to bed. It was 3.30pm. That is just wrong really. Poor Mark had no idea what was going on. Jamie was watching the footy - his beloved Kangaroos got smashed, despite winning early in the game. After I woke up we decided to go to the beach as Marko wanted a swim, we went to Horseshoe Beach alternatively known as *The Dog Beach* and the puppies had a swim. Charlie loves the ocean, she tears in after the ball and swims out to bring them back. Marky was swimming with them. Skye just barks like as crazy man. My thought is he is protecting Charlie or Mark when they are in the water and wants them to come in. When Charlie swims out, Skye follows him despite his better judgment just to protect her.
Anyway after the swim we went back to the car and Charlie got diarrhoea (arrgggh just like work). Now a dog with the squirts is a really weird thing to see. Anyone have any idea what would cause that???

Ahh the Magic Bullet infomercial. That reminds me of a time Mark and I went to Centrelink - he yelled at the top of his voice "This is my favourite ad" he found a chair and sat and watched it. Well surprise surprise we now own a Magic Bullet and it sits in the cupboard gathering dust. HMMM why do I succumb to infomercials.

Got to try and get some sleep. Hopefully tomorrow I will get some batteries and upload some new photos. Got some great ones from easter.

Bye
PS. Is that better Kathryn??

A Victim

Sunday at 11.30am Mark and his friend from two doors down Daniel decided that they wanted a hamburger for lunch. They asked if they could scooter up to the fish and chip shop and buy it themselves. They travel all over together, so going up the street to the chippie shop wasn't a big deal. On their way home near the pipeline (those familiar with my house understand the significance of the *pipeline* its the local hangout), a group of boys, about 8 of them on bikes all around 10-12 years old started to circle Mark and Daniel saying they were gonna bash them up.
My boys replied that "no they weren't" and I think Daniel said "Why would I fight you pussy's" (not too helpful Daniel). The gang also made a cutthroat signal. There were more words about wanting to fight and the boys ran home, Mark to our place and Dan to his place.

Mark came inside and said he had a lovely hamburger and.... "Mum, can you come here please??" This is the bane of my life, he always wants me to come to him, but I reckon he should come to me if he wants to say something, but I digress.
When I finally relented, he told me the whole story.

We went to Jamie and told him... in Jamie's usual style he said "What did you do Mark? The kids wouldn't want to fight you if you did nothing" Sometimes Jamie is so naive, there are generally bad people in the world, people who succumb to the gang mentality.

I worried about him, went to work, talked to my friend Brad who has two kids of a similar age to Mark, just to gauge his opinion of him as a parent and a man.

This morning I talked to mum (again) and she suggested I call the school, the police and talk to Daniel's mum as well. Two out of three ain't bad. Mrs Skillen was very helpful and she talked to Mark today in a discreet way.

The police station, I must admit, was fun. The police women were so beautiful I really felt like I was in an episode of "The Bill". I was invited into an interview room and she took my statement. Mark now has his name on the NSW police computer as a Victim of Crime. My little baby not yet 10.

When I collected Mark today from OOSH, he said to me "Mum, you remember what happened yesterday, it was actually VERY serious, Mrs Skillen talked to me and said it was really serious". She talked to the boy who goes to his school who was part of the gang and Mark thought that Jarrod had confessed to Mrs Skillen (as if). He wasn't mad at me for calling the school or the police.

Well all in all, it was an interesting day. The boys went for a scooter ride this arvo, and didn't run into any trouble.

If you got to the end of this post - I congratulate you.

Back to Normal - well almost.

Its lovely having Mark home again. Makes our family complete (as Tom Cruise famously said). The plan was to collect him from the airport and then go and play golf, well it was drizzling most of the day, so golf was off the agenda. We went to the workshop and Jamie worked on the boat engine for ummm about 9 hours. Mark got reacquainted with his dogs, we watched Djokovitch beat Federer in the tennis and then went to bed.

Saturday: Jamie returned to the shed to work on the motor. Mark and I went shopping for school supplies, it appears I was not thorough enough and he needed more. We also got a puzzle, 1000 pieces of a Holden SS Commodore which is REALLY hard.

Saturday was also Australia Day (or Invasion Day). Wikipedia states:
On 13 May 1787, a fleet of 11 ships captained by Arthur Phillip, which came to be know as the First Fleet, was sent by the British Admiralty from England to Australia, to established a penal colony at Botany Bay on the coast of New South Wales, explored by Captain James Cook in 1770. The settlement was seen as necessitated by the loss of colonies in North America. Captain Phillip found Botany Bay unsuitable and with two ships proceeded up the coast to Port Jackson, which he declared "the finest harbour in the world". The site decided upon for the first settlement was at a location where there was a potable stream of water, and some level land, unlike much of the steep and rugged foreshore. By 26 January 1788, the fleet was at anchor in Sydney Cove, the male convicts were unshipped and the flag was raised in the name of King George III.
Australia celebrates this with a public holiday and fireworks. Newcastle had its fireworks on the foreshore, which is gorgeous. We thought of going into town by the train to save on trying to find a park and "doing the right thing". There is a station really close to us, I found the timetable on the internet, then I looked up the cost $6.80 per adult and $3.60 for kids. How ridiculous. $17 for a family to go on a 15 minute train trip - granted it is return, but that doesn't make it worthwhile. So we drove and found a really good park, had a snack of donuts and homemade lemonade from a Russian vendor. It was really nice and at about 9pm the fireworks started, they were lovely, but boring at the same time.
There was also a carnival in town - Mark wanted to try all of the sideshows, but we are horrible parents taht said no!

Today - Sunday and for something completely different we went to the workshop so Jamie could work on the motor. I'm playing on the internet and Marko is playing with Emily. Its STINKING hot and I hate hot weather.

We are collectively very sad that Adam Gilchrist decided to retire. More in shock actually, he's amazing and I love watching him play. Can't wait for the tennis tonight. really hoping that Jo-Wilfreid Tsonga will win - its the battle of the silent letter tonight. Tsonga v Djokovitch.