What's in my bag.

All my favourite blogs are doing this, and as I don't have a single independent thought, I'm doing it too.


As you can plainly see, I don't actually have a handbag. I try, but there isn't much point in carrying two bags, my main bag in the "nappy bag".

• So I carry around changes of clothes for Ryan,
  
• bibs,
• nappies, wipes and nappy sacks for the stinkies.
  
• I also have some discarded wipes (I hope they were for sticky fingers),
• a spoon,
  
• a pen,
  
• a packet of cheese and crackers (Ryan uses the crackers as an implement to get the cheese, he does not eat the crackers),
  
• a packet of Rennie!
• Of course there are some receipts... why do I hold onto receipts.
  
• Also my purse and
  
• iPhone
  

Something I must rectify... in my purse there is a photo of Mark when he was in year one at school. He's all teeny with no front teeth. Hmmm.... will put a photo of my three boys in there in the next couple of weeks.

Relaxing and waiting.

Bub slept in until 8am, Mark woke me at 7:30 and I didn't get up, he said "please get up, I want to talk to you", talk to me here darling (like Florence Nightingale, I'm holding court on my bed), and he did. Funny kid, he has an excursion on Friday to the Stockton Sand dunes for sand boarding (bloody fun) and he told me today that they are doing more than just sand boarding, they will be on a 4WD bus and then to the aquatic centre, well duh... I read the note. Trying to get him to read stuff is like pulling teeth.

I read last night of a blogger who is giving up Facebook for Lent... couldn't do it, well maybe I could, but don't want to do it. I should be on it less. I like that I don't Farmville any more, but commenting on status updates is my addiction.

Mamamia.com.au is down this morning, but its just come back online. Phew...
"ALL children need is to know that they are loved" is first line of the article, should be nice I hope. It was by Catherine Deveny, whom I normally can't stand, she has a stand-up show called "God is Bullshit", gee ain't that nice! But this bit of parenting advice is pure gold. Kids don't need their own room, every toy that hits the shelf, they can eat Weetbix for dinner occasionally... but the main thing they need to know is that they are loved. Awww.

Our plan of getting our business to rank better in Google, and then make us more money has made Jamie interested in this baby blog, Facebook and well not quite Twitter, but maybe. He is really working on Search Engine Optimisation. Takes a lot of time, but seems to be worth it.

Pregnancy related news - namuch. My feet have swollen to epic proportions but that makes the RLS not be so bad. Twinges in my abdo all the time, but not labour, heightened anxiety, very low threshold to aggravation. Poor Mark is bearing the brunt of it. He doesn't listen to me! He thinks its funny when Ryan falls over (which in a way, it is funny), so he'll push him, or trip him, or grab a leg, so that he has to fall over. I say to stop, and Mark pretends not to hear, so I say stop then I yell.
Last night Ryan found a small glass on the floor, and was walking with it, holding it carefully. I had my eye on him, next thing I saw that Mark had Ryan's ankle, "don't hurt him or make him fall" I said. Next thing over he goes! I speak for a reason, he could hurt himself. Oh I didn't mean to make him fall. UTTER BULLCRAP. So I yell again, and Mark does the pathetic "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to"

I think Mark thinks I'm just riding him, being mean, but I want a calm happy household that doesn't yell, and I'm the yeller! I know its b/c I'm stressed, but don't know how to de-stress at the moment.

The thought of labour is scaring me, what if we have a problem again? What if I can't contact Jamie? What if it happens really quickly? What if this baby dies? How will i cope with two babies? What if he's not healthy? See all these what ifs? I'm sick of being in constant ache (its not pain, but ache), I want to have him today, I'm super stressed. PLEASE let this baby come today.

Something New

Did you notice the new layout? I like the colours, and our banner ad? Pretty swish isn't it?

So if you, or ANYONE you know needs a website, please think of our lovely, helpful, business MyNetHost. It is run by the most enthusiastic webhoster in the universe (yes my dearest husband).

Interesting stuff from today:
Ryan decided he would take his nappy off whilst in bed, and the peed all over his bed. HMMMMM.... not happy with this development, maybe I had it on too tight? Or he was just lying there awake for too long, needed something to do, so decided undoing the tabs was just the ticket.

Mark slept in! So I had to drive him for the first time this year. Traffic is awful between here and Waratah. He said his bus gets stuck in a traffic jam most mornings, there needs to be traffic lights at that corner I'm talking about... corner of Blue Gum Road and the one that goes to Wallsend, its a road I travel on almost daily, but have no idea what its called.

Far too tired, going to lie down.

Thoughts

Can I say I don't really have any.

Too nervous about the impending birth of my third son - just love saying that.

So world events of this year have been pretty bloody awful.

Floods in SE Queensland - towns destroyed by a wall of water, about 20 people killed and a huge clean up, which includes fixing so many roads.

Cyclone Yasi in FNQ - again towns destroyed by fierce winds and rain. Supposedly the buildings were quite "up" to the cyclone, not many destroyed, but heaps of vegetation gone. Strange that one of the hardest hit towns was Tully - where I used to live. When I lived there, I was at the caravan park and would have blown away. Bizarre.

Christchurch Earthquake - lovely beautiful Christchurch. The whole town is destroyed and is still rumbling. Scores killed - around 200. Again the clean-up is immense.


Japan's Earthquake, Tsunami and Nuclear Disaster - ahhhh. The pictures have been amazing, a wall of water destroying EVERYTHING in its wake. This ones death toll is closer to 10-15,000 The fear of the nuclear fallout is tremendous all over the world, no one really believes the Japanese government and there are too many opinions from "nuclear experts" about what is going on. Quite scary.

So what is next?

Still out of sorts.

Feeling very "wrong" the last couple of days.

Very sensitive to everything.

Feeling lost, grumpy, argumentative, achy, tired and generally not myself.






The labour (now technically known as pre-labour) stopped around 11pm last night. Went from 4 - 11 and was bearable. Now just waiting for the next round.

Going to eat something today. I have avoided food like products, relying more on cereal that last couple of days, that might help. Tonight we are having "Honey Mustard Chicken" one of my families favourites. Might do it with pasta. Had a "spare" cake in the freezer and have turned it into dessert, have made it a SORRY cake. Even wrote sorry on the top, that's how guilty I'm feeling for the last few days.

I have a feeling

That my labour is starting. Just the prelim stages at present.

Aching across my abdomen.
Feeling nauseas.
Ache across my lower back.
Needing to pee.
Comes and goes.

UGH

And I'll leave it at that.

Crap day.

We have a walker!

Its a little bit controversial, but Ryan is walking. Toddling maybe, falling over a lot.
My poor little boy is just a little bit short and fat, I think his tummy is a bit big which makes him front heavy and tips him over. He wants to walk, the face says that emphatically. He had walked around the kitchen, and toddled off on me at one point. But this is when I got the camera out "I'm not a performing monkey mummy" fair enough.

In other news, I have found out that "gah gah gah guuuullaaaa" means "I have done a poo and I will NOT come to you so you can change me"

Baking disasters and things that are just a little weird.

This is purely baking related.

My cakes are sinking. Quite depressing. I think my oven is the wrong temperature, but after talking to my mum the other day, maybe its too much butter.

I have made the best chocolate cake since I was a little girl, its super easy, no butter or eggs so don't need to be organised (ie soften butter) before starting. One day I left out the baking powder and wondered why it didn't rise.

Mark once made a cake and put 2/3 cup of bicarb soda rather than 2-3 tsp (I think that was what he did) it was completely inedible. UGGGHHH.

Mum made two batches of cupcakes recently that completely sunk, she put in 500g of butter rather than what the recipe said 250g. But to do it twice !!!

My horror stories are all sinking disasters. Need to go to baking school to find my flaw.

I can't decorate for peanuts. Friends of mine make wonderful pretty decorated cupcakes, when I ask what sort of cake it is... oh some packet mix! That doesn't count! Packet cakes taste awful and normal cakes are easy, there really is no excuse.

Now for the little bit weird.
I follow a blog, I won't tell you which one. But the writer is a baker, she has a shop that she bakes daily for. She did not do an apprenticeship for anything like that, but decided one day that she enjoyed baking, was able to have a shop and would combine the two. BUT what I find completely odd, is she doesn't do stuff from scratch, today she is talking about a pie that she's made. Buy some puff pastry and some pie filling and cook! I would never blog about a dessert that purely came from packets, at least stew your own fruit! Earlier in the year she was discussing pumpkin pie in much the same way, tinned pumpkin pie mix... I put a comment about how you would roast your own pumpkin and she replied saying umm never done it, but I guess what you are saying is correct. Must excuse her a little bit, she is only 24, so I have 14 years more life experience. But don't call yourself a "baker" if you don't do basics, say you are someone who enjoying cooking.

Brain at 37.5 weeks pregnant

Source:

I was originally looking for a pregnant brain picture, but they weren't very good. Mushy peas was another concept I had.

I'm starting to get a little nervous now. I'm experiencing "tightening" across my abdomen almost daily. Quite tight! Also, under the "bump" is getting uncomfortable, especially when I've been sitting and then stand up.

A big problem is I'm not comfortable on a chair, prefer to sit on the floor, then getting up from the floor is challenging. Oh well, hopefully only two more weeks.



Mark and I were watching an old episode of Family Ties last night. The one from just before the above picture. It was the episode where Elise goes into labour with Andy (the baby). She spends a bit of time with each kid talking about how special it is to have a baby and how lucky they are blah blah blah. Her talk with Alex (the wonderful Michael J Fox, or as Mark calls him, Marty McFly) is lovely. He says that he'll stand by her and help. I then asked Mark what he'd do if I went into labour right now (Jamie was at a meeting) he so thoughtfully replied "I don't need to see anything like that, I'll call an ambulance" I suggested that we might wait for a while, he could rub my back.... he wasn't too keen on being involved at all.

Bubby is rolling around again right this second. He doesn't have too much room any more. I'm sure he's going to be lovely. I'm getting quite excited. Love the idea of having 3 boys. Still quite unsure of names. I'm pretty sure its going to be A*, but it could be B** or C***. Need to get Jamie to concentrate and have a conversation.

Sounds like middle boy is waking up. He was very lovely this morning. He's full of fun. Didn't want to walk this morning, but last night didn't want to crawl. His walking style sucks... but is oh so cute.



* Not telling yet
** Still not telling
*** Letters are not indicative of what the name starts with, just the first three letters of the alphabet ;)

Whiplash

Thankfully not a car accident.

Mark's attitude and behaviour. It is as changeable as ... I was going to say the weather but as its consistently hot here, that's not gonna work. Lets just say its changeable.

He even approached me this morning with 10 minutes to go before the bus arrived to say "I might just finish off my history homework" so with an explanation of what chronological means and why the centuries are called what they are, homework got finished. The HUGE science assignment got finished last night - its due on Wednesday. His music assignment was handed in early.

He's pleasant, co-operative and really really wants money! If that's his driving influence, I don't particularly care. I'm not giving him more pocket money than he deserves, but am happy to pay it if the chores are done.

* I know I've used this pic before, but its so cute.*

When looking for a housekeeper

You want a good looking housekeeper, preferably one who is topless and handy. I give you the most gorgeous vacuumer one could ask for.






His standing and walking are quite amazing now. He will gladly walk about 6 steps rather than go down and crawl. His standing is very steady and can be out in the middle. He is very steady when walking holding hands, a little wobbly when not holding hands, but will do it.



Here is one of him eating a whole slice of bread. The size of it made me laugh, he did quite well, he sure enjoys his bread.




This is the fellas mucking around. Jamie was trying to get Ryan to sit on Mark's head. They were all killing themselves laughing that it didn't work too well.

Something cute

I have a cute niece, don't see her much at all. She lives over 1000km away. Hence not seeing her much. In the last year she has developed some verbal skills that she didn't have before. All of a sudden she has started to talk a little bit. According to Jo she's really good, according to mum, its a challenge to understand. But one thing is really clear, when I ring on the phone, I get to talk to Sheena, she says

**Hello Christy**

Sort of a kwisty pronunciation, but bloody brilliant. The rest of the convo is mainly me asking questions and Sheena answering "yeah"

Much better today.

After the DRAMA of Wednesday, the rest of the week has been pretty good.

Ryan is teething, there is a molar coming through, so he's a bit miserable.

Mark has been weirdly delightful. He had yesterday off school due to a 'corked thigh' obtained from the athletics carnival. In the morning he mentioned that he could not do long division, he didn't get it. So we set about teaching him how to do it. When its broken down into 8 steps, its actually quite easy. Over time, the steps will "melt" into each other, but at the moment, we are suggesting that he do each step individually to show the teacher he understands the working out. There were lots of tears, but eventually he was smiling from ear to ear, quite proud of himself. Our suggestion in the future would be to ask the teacher after class that he hasn't understood and would like to understand - pixie points.

Yesterday, Jamie ran a cricket match for his work colleagues. It was great, a lovely spot in Stockton. I took the boys along, Ryan walks everywhere as long as someone holds his hand. He was FILTHY. But enjoyed himself. I believe Jamie's team won.

I had a pretty major Braxton Hicks contraction when I was at the petrol station. There is a long walk from the front door to the counter and it was pretty obvious that I was experiencing some "pregnancy related", I assured the girl behind the counter, that it wasn't labour, but it was a bit painful. I breathed my way through it and it was over. The shopkeeper looked terrified and said "please don't let anything happen, I'll faint", it turns out she herself is 8 weeks pregnant with her first and I think my episode was a bit confronting for her.

Slept well, I seem to have to pee every hour, so that is a hindrance.

Got the vacumming done this morning.

Dishes are done.

Washing is done - need to hang it out.

Jamie is flying his chopper.

Mark is youtubing.

Ryan is sleeping.

I'm going to organise the spare room (oops I mean my almost newborn son's room) but before he can move in, it has to be a spare room due to the fact that Grandmothers are coming! There are still 3 suitcases in there and I have no idea what to do with them.

This afternoon is PROJECT GARAGE TIDY so the remaining three doors of the kitchen can be painted. Might try and convince him to repaint the bathroom cabinets with the same paint - if there is enough. The doors themselves are ok, just need a lick of paint, to tide them over for a couple more years.

More challenges of raising children.

Once again, this involves my extremely handsome eldest son. This is more for me, as a diary entry, but feel free to read if you want.

Yesterday was the commencement of football training. Mark does not particularly enjoy football, he is quite good at it though. Mark (as I've mentioned before) does not particularly like anything, maybe with the exception of his iPhone.

So yesterday Mark and his mate M came to our place together. I'm unsure of my position about M anymore, he was gorgeous last year, polite, friendly and generally nice. He has become much more worldly now. Mark says he is at his friends place very often, they spent most of the school holidays at the pool - as far as I can tell unsupervised. These are 12 year old boys? I don't get it. But anyway, M said hello to me and that was about it. They came out here to use the computer, I did a couple of spring in visits to make sure it was appropriate - must remember to check the history on my profile. They were just Facebooking another boy from school. Anyway I think Mark feels this boy is super cool... and needs his approval.

Jamie arrives home, Mark refuses to feed the dogs or check the balls to see if they are pumped up (note: Jamie already mad at Mark) because he has a friend over. When they finally arrive home from training around 7pm. I could hear the yelling in the car. When they come inside:
J: Tell mum what you did?
M: silence
It turns out, one of Mark's team mates B came to Jamie after the training to chat, Jamie was talking up the team, saying there are some real guns this year, ready to play their hardest. B then said "if only the kids wouldn't muck up at training, it makes it so hard" he's talking about Mark, M and C (a very wayward chap, who is quite charismatic). Mark was refusing to do what his coach asked, he didn't want to do a lap, or do sprints... or it seems do anything.

The coaching has changed this year, Ross is the coach of the U14s and not Jamie (he's coaching the littlies U10 - a very disciplined team). Ross has the hard job. These boys are in puberty, several challenging children, and attitude like nothing else. The boy mentioned above C, is the worst offender, if he was the only challenge it is a HUGE challenge. Ross does not need Mark helping C out by mucking up. And blah blah blah on it went.

We'd made a deal with Mark only a week or so ago, that if he tries his hardest, he can have an XBOX 360. Jamie said one more training session like that and the deal is off the table. Mark then made the face and I said to him "don't you dare say you don't care" and there was a little smirk, yes that was exactly what the face meant.

Then I added to it... if the back answering and disrespectfulness continues at football, he will lose his iPhone - forever, not just a week. OMG! That is kicking him where it hurts. He said something along the lines of ok.

This morning I asked what he thought about our discussion last night. He said it wasn't fair that I was taking his iPhone away from him. I told him I have no such intention and it was completely up to him. All he has to do is concentrate for 1.5hours twice a week, so what his coach asks of him and try his hardest. As long as he doesn't muck up, he keeps his phone! Easy, its good parenting.

I was then told, "No mum, its actually really bad parenting" I love it when he says that. Like he knows!

************

Anyway we all made up soon after, Ryan gave us all cuddles. This was extremely cute.

He was laughing and crawling around like a maniac, I called him over and put my arms out "Ryan come for a cuddle", a HUGE smile came over his face and he crawled over, climbed up and gave me a cuddle and a kiss. Marko then sat onto the floor about 5 Ryan steps away from me and put his arms out, he stretched his arms out and walked over to give Mark a big cuddle and maybe a kiss, then Jamie arrived and did the same thing, and he gave his dad a big cuddle. Then it was back to me. Some of it he walked, some he crawled. But man it was cute.

Namuch...

Today is going to be boring. That is good though. Excitement at this stage means labour, I'm not quite ready.

Making tons of sandwiches for Mark's lunches.

Making chicken salad / potato salad for tea.

Felt the need for more balls in the ball pit. Ryan has an awesome ball pit given to him by Arron, Tara and Chelsey. Trouble is there was only about 20 balls, which through natural selection (otherwise known as Mark throwing them around) has reduced to about 10, that is quite boring. So today, I went to KMart and purchased another

100 more

Probably a stupid thing to do, but he loves his ball pit. More tidying up for me.


Today is also the commencement of the junior football season. Training today!
Goodbye to all spare time. Hopefully I'll feel the desire to go as well. Quite lonely here at home.

Not ready for bed

Have just put Ryan to bed.
He's crying, probably not quite ready.

Our lives are far too busy.
Last night, Jamie had indoor cricket as a fill in.
Tonight, Jamie had to collect something for football, then going to play indoor cricket.
Wednesday, commencement of football training.
Thursday, he's on the books to work for G2U.
Friday, has a work social outdoor cricket match and presumably football training.
Saturday, I was going to a Tupperware party, but its been postponed.
Sunday, Jamie and probably Mark are playing a fund-raising golf game, and on call for G2U.

Somehow in between all of this, he has to run his business, work, talk to me and spend time with the kiddies.

Hope we don't have the baby this week.

Trainwrecks.

Not literally. Thankfully I know of no train accidents from overnight. I'm talking human train-wrecks. My current tv obsession is:

HOARDERS
People who have let their lives be out of control and stuff gets piled up. Its a mental illness to do with compulsive shopping and not being able to get "stuff" go. It makes for amazing tv. Several of the people on the show have lost custody of their children until their house is fixed and they can make no inroads into it themselves, so their get professional help. At least this show takes a stab at rehabilitation of the hoarder, there is no point in just "cleaning / clearing it up" as it doesn't solve the problem. There is a home in Bondi, the owners have hoarding issues and the council have cleaned it 14 times in 17 years... have they fixed the problem? You can read about it here. I like that Hoarders allows the hoarder some control, so they can help themselves.

2. Lindsay Lohan / Britney Spears
These two girls are proof that you don't put your child into show business. Too much too soon. Feel they are above normality. Both have problems with drugs and possibly mental illness (if my gossip mags are to be believed). I feel the *media* is hounding them for a suicide. They excitement that would follow a suicide attempt or better still a successful one is more than they could stand. This is a situation that I call "pushing into a corner until they kill themselves" Awful, just awful. Especially that Britney has children.

3. Now for the latest one: Charlie Sheen.
Eww and doesn't he look awful in this picture from TMZ. BTW, I love TMZ. I had such a crush on Charlie as a teenager. I was fully on the Sheen brother's bandwagon. Emilio Esteves was cute, but Charlie... better. I watched Young Guns and ummm can't remember other stuff. Never did watch Wall Street, or the war movie he was in. I liked Emilio's style of films better. Now he's gone down the alcoholic, drugs, sex, violence and delusions of grandeur. Are they delusions? He's had 10 years in Two and a Half Men where he's getting paid more money than anyone else in Hollywood to play, what is essentially himself. The character even has his name. Jon Cryer's character has a different name, but Charlie is Charlie. His character isn't even likable. He uses women, rude to his family, drinks and smirks. He doesn't even appear to work, I believe the character is a jingle writer. I've watched the show, I do enjoy Jon Cryer's character, more funny and interesting, but mainly watch it because nothing else is on. Can't have Mark watch it, would need to explain too many things. Now we are just waiting for the suicide..... Oh of course, he has at least 5 children.... gotta share those dodgy genes around.

****************************

On a little side note: my computer spell checker is now saying "movie" is spelled wrong. Its suggestions are MOVE, MOVING, MOVABLE, SOVIET, MONIES. Weird eh?

Do you think its true?

Read this...

I don't believe it. I reckon its a girl making up a story to make her life more exciting. Anyway its a intruiging read that is for sure.

How about one with photos... for a change?

My two gorgeous boys, Mark was watching telly and Ryan was in a relaxed post sleep state, so they sat on the sofa together. Pretty cute eh?


Today I'm baking some cinnamon scrolls. They are something I've been wanting to make for.... years actually. I've got the dough in the breadmaker at the moment, that should take about 1.5 hours, then I roll it out, fill it, let it rise and the bake in time for Marko to devour for afternoon tea.

I've had a huge "nesting" weekend, as I mentioned earlier. Yesterday was a bit of a continuation of it. Mark had a birthday party Nerf War which he really enjoyed (and so did Jamie), Ryan and I hung out in the play ground part of the park with Terese and he was delightfully self sufficient. Crawling all over the place, only tried to eat one gumnut. He was so good.

I'm pretty bad at my photo taking at the moment, the photos are all blurry and that is quite depressing, its a fully automatic digi camera, so why are they blurry. My feelings are I'm not doing the "half press" due to time constraints, my subject keeps moving, hence they are dark.

"I'll look after your iPhone for you Mum"

He's obsessed with that thing (aren't we all?), he can put the music on, look through the photos... clever nerdy chap.

Testing out his little brother's new cot. This is a loaner from the lovely Laura, she originally forgot to give us the metal rails that let the side go up and down, so we fashioned some from some we had here (sometimes it pays to be married to a hoarder, oops I mean storer.) Anyway Ryan showed us that the lighter weight metal was indeed not good enough and we have since got the correct poles.






Mr Independent. I want to feed myself. Here he is eating some tuna casserole with mashed potato. It was quite clean. I helped scoop the food onto the spoon, and he held the bowl and the spoon. He really enjoyed this casserole too.. super easy for those who want to try it.

Super easy, super yum tuna bake.
1 large tin of tuna, drained.
1 tin of tomatoes with onion and capsicum.
3 tbsp sweet chilli sauce
1 cup breadcrumbs
Any "dying" vegies in your fridge or alternatively some frozen veg.
Mix all together and top with mashed potato.
Bake until hot - I guessed, a little over half an hour at 200. This was enough for my family to have 2 meals from. And everyone liked it, which is often a challenge.

Cured myself

Finally my boys came home around 3:30ish....

So I picked myself out of my doldrums and went about fixing stuff.

I vacuumed all of the front half of the house, completely dusted my room.
Picked everything up off the floor from the front half of the house - no mean feat when 8 months pregnant.

There is a decent "pile" on the spare bed, where do I put three suitcases??? Will fix this with the fellas tomorrow.

The lounge room gets done regularly.

Cleaned the benches and table in the kitchen.

Did 4 loads of washing and hung them out.

Ate a healthy dinner.

All that needs doing now is the floor swept and mopped! This is going to be huge challenge. Everyone hates sweeping in this house. I really want a swivel sweeper to pick up the shit that the middle boy drops, and I'm sure the youngest will follow suit in about 10 months time!

Picture - just because I can. Mark is doing an assignment for music and he chose Bon Jovi "because my mum likes and knows a lot about them" He did the worst presentation with his writing and I shall be making him rewrite it tomorrow with some effort this time, but here is the picture "we" chose. Its from the fan photos on their official website.

Crappy Day

I don't want to be negative, but I feel all alone.

Jamie is extremely busy, don't fully agree with what he's doing, but he's entitled to do it.

Mark is so disagreeable and if I should show that I'm annoyed with it, he puts on the whiniest of voices and its drama central. We're butting heads like nothing else. If I say black - he says white. Has to say NO to everything. Whatever I suggest is wrong wrong wrong. I'm very frustrated by this.

Ryan is clingy, doesn't want to be cuddled, but be held whilst I stand up, a sitting down hold does not suffice. He doesn't want to be held by Jamie if he know I'm around. As lovely as it is that he loves me... I'm exhausted.

I have so much housework to do. The state the carpet is in, makes it need a vacuum about twice a week now. It NEVER looks nice, it never will look nice. It needs to be ripped up and replaced.

My bathroom is disintegrating, the bench is falling apart, the sink and bath need either replacing or resurfacing. The shower is in awful condition and it just won't clean.

The floor in the office is falling apart.

If you look at everything from about knee height its ok. Some cornices are still in need of finishing.

I'm really low today.

I think Jamie and I need (really NEED) a date night together, no children. Just need to find a babysitter for that, feel I can't ask people.. but know that I can.

Self esteem at an all time low I think.

Very uncomfortable, my back is aching, my knees and ankles are aching, I'm tired and down in the dumps.....

Will report back tomorrow with a sunnier disposition.

Ooops

in the immortal words of Britney Spears

Ooops I did it again.

Dipping my toes into Twitter. After reading mamamia's report on social networking this week, people fall into three distinct categories

Facebookers
Twitterers
Those steadfastly against both.

I'm category #1 for sure. Not very sure if i want to do it, but I am. Actually I shouldn't. Maybe I'll decide for sure that I won't. OK going back to delete it again. I need to be more focussed on real life, not cyber life. If i have more to say, its going on the blog.

Shopping

and Christy are not really friends.

I want to be like a real girl and enjoy shopping. But to enjoy shopping I think you have to buy stuff and I just can't.

It was suggested by a work colleague to go to Pulp for shoes. I'm not buying shoes at the moment due to oedema, but for after the baby is born, I'd like some winter boots to wear to make me feel cool. (I was going to link in their website, but OMG they don't have one.) Anyway this friend said their prices were pretty good and they often have buy one get one half price sales. Well the cheapest I saw was $79 and the boots that I would have liked were $140. I just can't do that.

I don't know how my weight loss will go post baby#3 so looking at clothes is a loss. I would like to dress cool-y like Rachel, but feel I will look like mutton dressed up as lamb. Rachel is a good 10 years younger than me. I have never been a thrifter, I'm not a sewer (to re-style stuff that is a bit too old fashioned). I'd love to wear dresses but never have. I've never been a thin person, my boys are not supportive of any change in my style (that's the husband included). But I think I'll try. I'm sick of the boring clothes I wear. They are not flattering, not interesting and yes they are comfortable, sometimes they are just plain embarrassing.

Just because I'm a stay at home mother for the time being, doesn't mean I can't look nice. This is gong to be a challenge, but one I hope I can fulfil.

Critters

As most would know, we are the owners of two dogs. We got Charlie (the lab) as

a puppy back in 2001. The reason: I've been totally phobic of dogs my whole life, it stemmed from when I was about 2yrs old and was bitten by a dog at a house where mum was babysitting, I was also scratched by a German Shepherd when i was 6. These two incidences, coupled with my parents dislike of dogs compounded on me to be point of phobia. I would prefer to walk down the middle of a street rather than next to fences in case there was a dog. This is a trait I still possess. I won't walk down new streets without being on guard. I will definitely never walk the dogs down a new street just in case there is another dog to bark at us. It was a scary childhood, living in fear of a dog attack.

When Mark was about 3 years old. He was very jumpy around dogs. He wouldn't go up to dogs, something I encouraged because of the danger of the animals. Jamie told me this is ridiculous, he can't grow up like this, LIKE YOU! So with encouragement I agreed to get a puppy, and the nicest dog I could think of was a lab. She was adorable, I was a little wary to start with, so was Mark. Started by looking through the glass sliding doors and ended up snoozing together. Lots of photos of his early childhood - when we lived in Tullamarine of Mark and Charlie together. Then we moved to Newcastle, got a rental which didn't allow dogs inside. Poor things have been outside dogs ever since.... So how did we end up with two dogs. In my new grad year, one of the nurses I worked with had a biggish dog that was lovely and they were moving to a small apartment in Sydney and couldn't keep Skye. I knew Charlie was lonely with us either at work or at school, so we quickly adopted Skye and he's been in our family for almost 7 years now. They are both quite middle aged in their temperament, which is good for us. They are great at being a doorbell and letting me know when it is 5pm (Charlie starts barking for food). Once these two leave our family, I will not have another dog. It prevents you from going on holidays, and we are just not pet people the way others are.

I'm not really fond of any animal, small things scare the bejesus out of me. Mice, lizards, bugs and this week we even had a frog in the back yard. There was a turtle in my driveway once, I called animal rescue (should the dogs attack it) and they said to pick it up and take it to the Wetland Centre... no bloody way am I picking up a turtle. I don't touch animals. Cats I don't care for. Our friend's son wanted me to pat their cat... ummm no thanks. Ferrets - ick.



Chickens scare me, but I want them for eggs when I get my farmlet along with some sheep or goats. They can be ignored and fed each day. I don't need to feel guilty if I don't walk or play with them.

The R Word

Do you know what it is?



Do you think it's offensive?



Retard or retarded.



I can't stand when I hear it. There is a girl at work who uses it in jest about herself quite frequently. I wish I had told her my feelings about the word. Can't eliminate a word if people don't know there is an issue with it.

There is a big push in America to eradicate the R word. Today is "the day". I had written a big post about it earlier, and when trying to download the graphic the computer froze and I lost it.

Unfortunately I say the F word a bit. But its not denigrating someone's intelligence. I'd never say the N word either - cos it just doesn't make sense. How completely alike Mark and Daniel are (Mark is pure white and Daniel is almost a blue/black) but they are both just boys... Sheena has issues, I'm not saying she doesn't. This is the most inspired piece of writing here, I will send it off to Jocelyn, for her to read. For those who don't click, its a blog that I follow about a woman who's older sister has Down Syndrome and she has adopted a daughter also with Down Syndrome. She is talking about her sister's limitations and where she excels. Its heart-warming. I'd love to be part of a solution.

Take a pledge to NEVER use the R word, or better still..... just never say it.

Other stuff from my life

Interesting day...

1. I've pretty much decided to attempt a VBAC. I'm very comfortable with this decision now. It will mean that I can recover quickly (supposedly), still drive and go to the appointments. The doctors have agreed that I can have an epidural quite early in the labour. Now my main problem will be convincing the midwives that I need one. So surprised with myself.

2. Ryan walked a bit more today. He went from the laundry to the computer desk. Jamie was rolling backwards on the computer chair encouraging him to keep on walking.

3. Mark is much MUCH MUCH improved. He's been in bed before 9.30 for the last two nights, he's doing his homework, eating his dinner and being polite. I'm quite confused. But am seriously liking the new Mark.

The highs and lows of Centrelink

A totally necessary evil. Very happy to have them on board for my Paid Parental Leave.

As some may know, I filled in the online form for PPL, at the end it said that I had to take my Proof of Citizenship to the Wallsend office of Centrelink.

Let me get this straight (whilst I hang my head in shame for some of it), I have been on the dole, single parent pension, baby bonus, child care allowance and probably some family tax benefit somewhere along the line since about 1997 (the earliest I can remember). I had to show complete proof of identity when I first applied.

I have had the same Customer Reference Number, I have updated my details whenever necessary.

So why, when applying for PPL do I need to bundle up my toddler, get in the car and drive to Centrelink to show a form that most likely they have seen before. Even the dude behind the desk, said "well this doesn't make much sense, but I'll photocopy it anyway" He was almost going to ask for the original when I had a fully certified copy. I have been an Australian Citizen since 1984. Never changed, probably never will. Just a strange over the top system.

Oh and hooray, I have to go back with proof of birth to actually start getting my money. Gee I hope I can send someone for that!

Teaching

I didn't do teaching at university because I don't think I'm much of a teacher. I have taught new nurses, student nurses and new graduates, most of them say I'm pretty good. I don't personally think so, but as long as they do hey?

But I've noticed I'm doing a LOT of teaching at home this year. To an almost 13 year old boy. I'm terribly disappointed in the primary school, no research skills were taught, barely any homework set that actually required thinking. Yes the worksheets came home, but anyone can sit and do a worksheet, something that required thinking is what was lacking.


Now we're in high school!

Bring on the first assignment about Science. Choose a famous scientist from the list (I've never heard of any of them) and write about their life. He was quite able to do that independently. He has a lot of trouble rewriting sentences into his own words, he feels its perfectly ok to plagiarise - not a concept he's familiar with yet - but I'm teaching it. Part two is choose a field of science and define it, how has it advanced mankind and how has it hindered it, and write about three famous scientists from that field. Well we decided to go to the library last night and his infomation gathering skills (were in a word) crap. Panic is what set in, he read two lines and then breathlessly told me, "I've forgotten it all, its all hopeless."
I said "read it again",
"no use mum, I'll just forget again."
So there I was in the middle of the public library reading out stuff from an encyclopaedia. We got quite a bit done, thankfully its not due until the 16th March. I said to him "This is what I expect you to do tomorrow, work on the next problem using the internet" I hope it works without me having to sit next to him prompting each word. Hoping there is a little bit of independent thought.

Next area of teaching is: self control.

We're withholding his pocket money, well banking it, otherwise money falls through his fingers like water. He has no concept of delayed gratification, what is really needed and what is something for a wishlist. He is begging for an airsoft machine gun at the moment, the thing looks bloody realistic and once he gets it, he won't use it. Same as all the Nerf guns. But the one he wants, see above is very realistic and completely unnecessary. I don't' what this type of thing in my house, supposedly the one he wants is on sale at $7US, so what type of shit is it? I think I'll bite the bullet and say completely no. Maybe we'll have to take him to a firing range for his birthday this year, I suggested it for Christmas, but Jamie said no.

Also sleep. He is so resistant to bed. He knows he has to be in bed at 9.30, but he waits until 9.30 for someone to tell him to have a shower, to which he replies he's too tired and just wants to go to bed. I yell, he has a shower, doesn't get into bed until 9.50 and doesn't get to sleep until after 10pm. This morning he told me he's sooooo tired and wants to have the day off to sleep. So I said "Why do you not go to bed on time, why don't' you listen to your body?"
I asked him who he was trying to impress, I said maybe if he had a friend over, it makes sense to be cool and stay up late, but is he trying to impress me or Jamie? I went to bed at 8.30 last night (mainly cos I have a really interesting book) as I was tired, I asked him if he thought I was uncool b/c of this. He agreed it was quite sensible and he said he'd try and listen to his body. Hopefully he'll be in bed by 8.30 tonight. He's still only 12.75 years old, not the 17 year old he thinks he is.

Thought Processes.

Once again, a warning, proper names of body parts are being mentioned in this post.

So another appointment with the Obstetrician today. Had to be a feral and bring Ryan with me, he was very well behaved, ate a lot and drank a lot, even read some books - not his style.

Today was the "official" meeting about choosing Caesarean Section (CS) or Vaginal Deliver after Caesarean (VBAC). It was the official meeting in my head, it was really just a regular appointment.

Anyway I met with Dr Butt (lol) who is a GP who moonlights at the antenatal clinic, she is amazing, I really like her. She remembered me from two weeks ago, knew my story. The results of the "cord scan" were not in my notes, but I was able to tell her the result - no knot. Then I admitted what I've been thinking for the past several weeks... I've lost my excuse for a CS. But still the fear of giving birth is very real, I have a low pain threshold and am frightened of being trapped in any one position for any length of time because of my Restless Leg Syndrome (RLS). She said there is no reason I could not have an early epidural, even just get the catheter in place and not put drugs in until its really necessary. I like the idea of that.

So after vowing never to give birth "naturally" ever again, I'm staring down the barrel of it again. Will have to read a book about what to expect.


Main reasons are:

1. Its major surgery
2. Can't drive for 6 weeks.
3. Can't lift my little angel Ryan for probably those 6 weeks.
4. Still have to keep on living.
5. No real reason (anymore) to have a CS
6. I did it last time.
   
7. They hopefully won't lie to me and give me my epidural.

Of course, should it all go pear shaped, very happy to have my CS.

Mark's birth story, and other memories from long ago - from my faded memory.

Sorry - digital photography was not around at this time, so there is a lack of appropriate photos... lots to read though.

I've not written about Mark's birth before. He was 10 days late! Braxton Hicks contracts for about two days before hand, then on the 12th June, 1998 at 2am I got my first contraction. I remember I was lying on the couch at mum & dad's house (where I was living at the time) because my sleep was pretty crap back then (deja-vu). I know it caused me to wake up and stand up in the the space of one second. I woke mum (cos I'm really nice like that) and she ran me a bath, I sat in the bath, or wandered the house in the beginning of my labour. I don't recall it being too awful, the contractions were far-ish apart and it was all managable except during the actual contractions. Around 5ish Mum cracked it and woke up Vince (my then sort-of partner and Mark's birth father who was also staying at their place) and told him to get dressed and help! Mum and Vince didn't get along so good, everyone including me knew he wasn't the right man for me.

So around 6ish we called the hospital - St George's in Kew when it was a maternity hospital - and they said to come in. The drive too 3 contractions to get there.. so maybe 15 minutes.

When we got there, Vince had to book me in, as he was my "partner" what a crock, should have been Mum. Anyway... I'll try and continue without further barbs at Vince ok.

I was taken to a birthing suite and the midwife hooked me up to a CTG machine, which is a belt around the belly to check on the heart rate. Then the midwife left... or collective memory says at least an hour. I wasn't suffering too much, had the gas for the contractions, but I was pretty crap at using that. My birth plan stated I wanted to walk, sit on the big ball, have a shower and here I was trapped in the bed with a CTG machine around my belly. Mum was doing all the "work" relaxing me, Vince held my hand (oops was that a barb?)

I think from about 8ish I was starting to lose the plot, yelling at people that "I don't want to breathe" when they suggested I breathe the gas through the contractions, the midwife asked "would I like some pethidine".. (again my birth plan said no pethidine because it makes the baby floppy") I remember this statement that I made "Am I in enough pain yet for pethidine", the midwife suggested that I was. So pethidine was given... noice.

After about another hour of me losing the plot, including an internal examination that showed I was only 3cm dilated (bring on the tears). They suggested I have an epidural... yes please.

Epidural on board, watching the CTG machine show that I was having another contraction, that is the nicest thing to watch, know you should be in excruciating pain, but what you are doing is watching a line go up. But the other line (baby's heart beat) was showing the exact opposite. Each contractions caused Mark's heart beat to drop to about 50bpm, which for a baby is very very low. So about 10.30 someone (probably the obstetrician) came in and said "having a few issues, so we might just have to get this baby out) so emergency Caesarean it was.

I was all prepped for theatre, already had the epidural, Vince was coming in to watch as well. When we were all ready for the operation to start, I remember thinking where the hell is he, he's holding up this operation, I bet he's chatting up some nurse. Later he told me, he was dressed in the scrubs within 5 minutes and they made him wait. Sorry Vince, my bad.

Operation "Chop Christy Open" begins, birthing the shoulders I felt, otherwise it was marvellous. Vince was so excited, "I got to see your guts, no one else has ever seen your guts before."

Then we got to see the gorgeous little Mark Emmanuel Orset (as he was originally called) we later officially changed his name to Mark Emmanuel Lantz to make his schooling and essentially his life easier. He was still a little bloody, had what looked like red curly hair, in retrospect, he had the tiniest amount of blonde hair that had blood on it. His eyelids were swollen, and were for about a month... the reason, the cord was wrapped around his neck twice, sort of strangling him. Well that's my theory.

Off to recovery and I was drugged out of my brain, high as a kite actually. I was lying in my bed with my leg bent - my knee was outside of the covers, I remember asking in my drugged voice "what's that big white thing down there?"
"That's your leg, love" OMG that's soooo fuuunnnnnyyyyyy.

I was hooked up to a drip for about the next day and a half. Vince slept on the floor next to me. Marko roomed in with us. Breast feeding was a little problematic mainly due to the sheer number of different midwives all with slightly different theories on how it should work. I recall one woman walking in, asking me to "get ready" and then she started to flick my nipple with her finger... still not too impressed about that. Don't you think she should have asked for permission first?

Despite an emergency caesarean section, I insisted on being discharged after 4 days, as I knew Vince was leaving to work at the snow. We had about 3 days together. I was pretty low, Mum drove us to the edge of the city and Vince got out and started to hitch hike to Mt Buller and really out of our lives. I know he called me a few times, the 2am drunk call when he professed undying love for me (total bullshit and I called him on it), I remember yelling at him, I'm looking after your son whilst you are partying at a ski resort (oh and a little cleaning) and you wake me up at 2am with lies???? (oops I did it again).

Anyway after that HUGE life changing week. I was only 24 years old, newborn baby, crumbling relationship, we managed to pick ourselves up and get on with the business of loving the most amazing little baby who has grown into a great kid. Yes I have my problems with him, but really just totally normal teenager issues, we want him to do stuff, he doesn't want to do it! Simple as that.

Mum remembers there were hours where Mark would be lying on my lap and I would just be looking at him. No wonder we're so close. Anyway after about 18 months, I was still living at home. I was on the single parent pension and my dad said "OK Christy, this isn't going to be forever like this, what are you doing with your life, go back to work at a lab, or go to uni or something, you cannot be a pensioner". He was so right. I didn't want to go back to Melbourne Pathology where I was the shit kicker, no where to go in that company without uni, and I knew the scientists didn't do too much more than what I did, so there was little point in becoming a Medical Laboratory Scientist. But I did like the idea of nursing (they are nice people, I'd like to be nice) so I started my nursing degree in 2000 when I was 26 years old.

Also in that time period, Vince and I totally broke up, we had a couple of weekends at Mum & Dad's caravan in Eildon so he could get to know Mark, but it was all fruitless. I spent a lot of hours on the computer in that new thing called the "internet", I chatted to lots of guys on ICQ... went a little wild (oops again), and then somehow started talking/typing to a guy in Tullamarine who worked strange hours so was available to talk to me when I was online (remember dialup). Anyway we talked for hours and hours, he was nice, but I wasn't in love. One day we suggested we might meet for a drink. I didn't know this fella from a bar of soap really. So we agreed to meet at a pub half way between our houses, and we'd each bring a friend. I took Jo and Jamie brought Dave (who didn't admit he had a girlfriend and tried to chat up Jo - sorry Kirsty if you read this) we had a nice evening, but no sparks at all. But we kept on chatting, cos we got along really well. But by Easter of 2000.... well we were a fully fledged couple and haven't looked back. Jamie accepted Mark without question, Margie I believe was a little wary of Jamie's girlfriend who had an 18 month old son! But she loves me now.

Lazy

What a day today is.

Slept poorly overnight, up at 3.30 until 5ish.
Woke at 7.15,
Back to bed at 9 to "read" ended up sleeping.
Woke at 10.30
Slept on the couch from about 12ish to 2ish.

THANK GOODNESS RYAN IS SLEEPING TOO.

I feel like I could just sleep for days and days...
Need to achieve stuff, but just not today.

Going to visit Toni now.

WHOOPIE PIES

Today, I'm trying something very very new (to me). Its an old Amish recipe called Whoopie Pie. So far so good. The batter is pretty yum.

I'm about to put 4" circles of batter onto my pan and get 6 cooking.

That step has worked well. Hmm, not enough batter, will only end up with 6 pies :( The second batch are in the oven as I type. They sure spread a lot eh?


Have to wait for them to cool before I can "fill" them with the marshmallow filling. Am rediculously excited about this baking process and am very disappointed there aren't more.

This is the marshmallow fluff icing/filling. Very very sticky stuff. And delicious.






Taste test... soon.

A highly irregular new problem.

I don't know how this problem started, I had solved it for several years. Only doing the barest of essentials... what is it that I speak of?
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IRONING



As I said, the only stuff I used to iron was my uniform tops. Everything else was left to iron itself once worn.

Now Jamie's work t-shirts have all died and have been replace with Hard Yakka shirts, these need ironing. Mark has several "cool" t-shirts which look so much better when ironed, even little Ryan's t-shirts look nicer when ironed, and of course my uniforms and the tea towels which I just can't help doing. So each week I have a large basket of ironing to do. I tend to do it whilst watching a good murder mystery (ie any night of the week). Then the house becomes a chinese laundry for a few hours as I hang up shirts all over the place.

Source of photo here

Pressure

Who is this pressure coming from?

ME.

I don't want to go back to work after this baby is born, maybe not until he goes to school. I don't know how to achieve this.

I don't know if we can afford child care if I do go back to work.

I really want to move back to Melbourne, I've made my opinion known to lots of people, but now I don't feel like that is going to happen, so I feel like I've lost. Not sure exactly what I've lost, but if I go back to work at the John Hunter I'm sure it will be with my tail between my legs.

Still not feeling well, feel super guilty that I'm taking drugs to sleep. The worst part is the drugs didn't work last night, so today I'm foggy as well and sleep deprived.

Sub-Tropical Summer

Now this is what I'm talking about.

Warm and muggy in the morning, then an afternoon thunderstorm complete with hail. We loved it. I think I even saw lightening touch the road outside my house.

Ryan was engrossed in it. I tried to take a photo of him looking out the window at the rain, but then he caught me with technology in my hand and had to leave his window spot and attack me. He did jump a bit at some of the thunder, but then that makes sense cos it was REALLY LOUD.

Wonder how my dearest eldest boy is going at camp. I'm not usually a worrier, but he seemed so vulnerable this morning. Sitting looking lonely all by himself. He even gave me a kiss goodbye - was not expecting that. I thought he'd have a big posse of kids that he hung with.. but no. Will chat with him on the weekend. I wonder if they were in the middle of the lagoon canoeing or on a long hike when the storm hit. Certainly will make for interesting stories when he gets home............. tomorrow.

Must get some jobs done, I've been quite melancholy today and have done bugger all.

Pre-camp Jitters.

Mark is off to his first high school camp. Its only in Glenrock Lagoon, in Kahibah. Which I think is kind of funny, as its only 20 minutes away. Its an overnight excursion, where they have to take everything, including a sleeping mat and a "mess kit". So thankfully it was only $40.

Young Mark has no sense of urgency, none at all. I suggested we pack on Sunday evening, the reply was a filthy look and that's just stupid. So yesterday after school, I said "lets pack" and that was greeted well. So we packed, luckily I went through it, he only had 2 t shirts and they had asked for 4, the same with shorts. I ironed his name on everything that would stay still for me. I wasn't letting his have Jamie's mag torch, so he doesn't have a torch, otherwise he's got everything. We told him to leave his iPhone at home, I was expecting this to be ignored, but thankfully he has left it at home. The note said no electronic devices, I'm sure he'll be the only one without an iPod type thing.

So off to school this morning with so many year sevens and a handful of parents. I managed to have a nice conversation with the deputy principal, who I said I hope we never get to know. She was lovely and new to the school, she said it has a fabulous vibe, they have meetings all the time about the children - something that would be rebelled against at other high schools, but its the norm here - she said of course they have their troublemakers, but its shifting. They are working hard at improving the culture of the school. So happy that I chose that school, I know its probably the same at all schools, but I really like the uniform too.

Valentine's Day Recap

It was a doozy.

Jamie left at 5.40am as usual. I had not slept.. ok maybe I dozed, but no sleep. Ryan woke at 6am for his milk and then I put him back to bed, this did not work, but thankfully he just talked to himself. Mark up at 7am, insisting I get up also. Dragged myself out of bed and achieved the morning tasks.

Ryan was not himself yesterday, we feel molars are coming through.. pain. So he was a bit of a sookylala, and I put him back to bed and he slept until 10:30am, maybe even eleven. I dozed in that time.

We needed car parts, the engine of our Commodore "dropped" not sure how this happens, but maybe the baking heat of the past two weeks sped up the perishing process of the rubber boots holding it in place (that's what I think and I'm sticking to it) anyway quite dangerous to drive, so it was at Rocket's house waiting for me to order these "boots". When Jamie finally rang to tell me what to ask for, Auto1's response was "what size boot do you need"... oh shit! I don't know, Jamie didn't know, Rod didn't know. Sorry Jamie this is a job you need to work out for yourself, so after about 10 phone calls, of which 5 of them, Ryan was screaming! I gave up on car parts.

Around 12:30, time to head to Rebecca's house so she could babysit my little dude whilst I was at my antenatal appointment. It doesn't really feel fair to drag a 14 month old baby to a hospital to sit in his pram and be quiet. Ryan doesn't quite know the meaning of quiet at the moment, he's discovered his voice and likes to use it - loudly - to tell long intricate stories of complete babble.

Got to Metford, settled in Ryan, who I believe spent the afternoon driving his Buzz spaceship and laughing at Wilson - their white fluffly dog, Bella - the husky - was kept outside much to her disgust!

Appointment went really well. Had a lovely GP/gynae specialist who believed me and was willing to help me. My reflux is bad, I'm now on ranitidine bd. My sleeping sux (as you know) she has given me temazepam.... and I got 7 hours sleep last night. Jamie was a little upset that I wasn't able to say goodbye to him this morning (as I was in my induced coma). Spoke with the head of the department about my Caesarean, he thinks its quite reasonable. I'm booked for a 3 or 4D scan on Friday to look at the umbilical cord to make sure their are no early knots, to ease my anxiety over this. Quite looking forward to seeing the littlest Mr Storer in three days time. I hope Jamie is able to attend this appointment - going against my earlier argument that hospitals are no place for babies. Below is a self portrait of me at 33 weeks preggers!


Anyway, I quick dash out of the hospital, collected Mark at home on my way back to Metford to get Ryan. Then got a phone call from Jamie, get some brake fluid and meet me at Rocket's house to give him a car key. No worries mate. R fell asleep in the car and we went in and had a cup of tea. Then to Jesmond to get my drugs, home. Sat down for 5 minutes. Then Jamie came home and I had to drive him to Hexham to his helicopter meeting (yes you read that correctly) he is in a helicopter club, and they want him to build their website (hopefully for free membership, but that remains to be seen). He didn't get home until almost 10.30pm.

I think I got a Valentine's kiss from him.



Driving included: Home (Shortland) - Metford - New Lambton - Shortland - Metford - Tomago - Jesmond - Shortland - Hexham - Shortland. Maybe I didn't need the sleeping pill.... utter exhaustion might have done it.

CSTDIDWF: Ryan

Cute Stuff They Do I Don't Wanna Forget...

Thanks Courtney for the cool title :)

My munchikin commencing his walking career. He hasn't done it much, but will take a few faltering steps when coerced. I'm so lucky that his first steps were captured on our video as I was at work at the time. Might have to send Mark to cinematographer school though, pretty crap job of a momentous occasion.

Climbing on and off his Buzz Spaceship is pretty cool. He can manoeuvre those legs pretty easily these days.

Looking into boxes. We got a long "poster" style box the other week, he was putting his balls into it and then peeking to see if they'd gone in. Terribly cute. Yesterday at the Baker's house they had an old air-conditioner box with a door cut out. He crawled in, sat up and then shut the door, very proud of our little man.

Opening doors - not necessarily good, but clever. Quite frustrating actually. Must get more door locks :(

Eating corn on the cob last night... loved it. He look so confident, like he'd been doing it his whole life (makes me wish I'd left him a little more corn - oops) he also enjoyed his portion of the lamb chop, as my mum says "not a little baby any more"


Another not necessarily cute, but clever, he lets me know when he's finished his food by throwing it off the edge! Messy but thoughtful.

Yesterday was the best laugh, I was listening to an 80s radio station and "The Final Countdown" by Europe came on, well I ding/sing along to the whole song, being a headbanger in my teenage years.. so I did and quite loud, he found the "nahh nahh na-na-na-na" of the intro hilarious and was cracking himself up laughing. He also laughs heaps at Mark over silly faces.

Chasey is fun, especially when he stops and looks around - and as his crawling is very good, its not efficient - so we catch up.

Dive bombing into his ball pit, thank you Arron and Tara for that ballpit, best present ever!

The sad, pathetic life of Christy

I'm feeling ick. Lots of problems at the moment... (time for another list)

1. RLS - bad
2. Can't sleep because of #1
3. Anxiety because of #1
4. Sore ear - I'm pretty sure its a bite, skin started peeling off today
5. Top of right foot hurts
6. Lower abdo and upper left thigh pain, actually a little more like groin pain, should I call the delivery suite? (Reminding me a little of the labour from Ryan)
7. A sense of general heaviness
8. Puffy feet
9. Reflux
10. Slight nausea

Ok, that is more than enough. I'm really tired and want to sleep, but the fear of going to my bedroom is overwhelming. How do I turn off the thoughts??????????

Sore Ear

Ok this is getting pathetic.

The top of my ear hurts, its all red, no cuts that Jamie can see. At least its my left for love ear, I think I'd get paranoid if it was my right ear (right for spite).

I can't bake anymore. My cupcakes failed last night. They all sunk :(
Failed profiteroles.
Failed Mars Bar slice.

Quite depressing really.

My Footy Club is Awesome.

A slight side bar to start with: I love the word awesome, I'm sure it comes from two parts of my life, its truly a Christian word, and I still consider myself a Christian and more obviously its from "How I Met Your Mother" where quite cool people use awesome a lot. I've taken to using it again.

But back to the topic at hand. My footy club "Wallsend Junior AFL Club" is seriously awesome. The committee is full of really motivated people. Something that Jamie and I are not. Our president Jason is brilliant, he's on the ball, excellent letter writer, excellent thinker, a bit of a stress head but gets the job done. Maybe that's why he's wanted to step down as president for the past 3 years without success.

Next come Russ and Sharyn. Talk about motivated, they have called all the schools in the area to confirm they have flyers about our registration day this afternoon. They also put a lot of thought into what's needed. Russ practices with his kids and local kids, he plans his training sessions and generally worries about how the club is going to fare.

Jamie goes with the flow, he doesn't really instigate anything, will help out, do what is required, but a leader... umm not really. I'm not a big fan of getting involved either. Quite happy to have an excuse this year. BABIES.

Life when you are 32 weeks pregnant

32 weeks sounds a long way through, but there are 8 weeks left, that is 2 months! In reality of life, two months is a long time, but when you get closer to 40 (ok I do have 3 years) time moves quickly.

Good things that have happened this week:

• The heat went away (but its coming back)
• Work is good
• I'm going to have a kickass Tupperware party on Friday - its only Tuesday and I have 7 confirmed guests... only have comfy seating for 5.. will have to bring the kitchen chairs in.
• I've made two slices
• I've made the bed two days in a row.
• Two less mice are in the world.

Now for the bad stuff:

• Restless Leg Syndrome and insomnia. Words fail me how awful this is.
• Ryan got heat rash and is feeling poorly, off his food (which he is completely hopeless with at the best of times) and more importantly slow with his milk.
• Mark isn't listening and I feel like a banshee, threatening him is the only thing working.
  
• Mark is not really talking to me, unless he wants something, he finds it funny to scare me, trick me, push me to my limits. And this boy was wonderful last week.
• Jamie is sooo busy, I miss him. He is working on his boat, helicopter, computer or second computer job as well as working full time. Sometimes I feel we are tag team wrestlers, hand slap as one takes over the babysitting duty. When I get home from work its his cue to go out, and a bit vice versa.
• Lack of interest in cooking.
• Two failed baking jobs yesterday, I wanted to make profiteroles and forgot to put the eggs in, hence they didn't rise, I know they needed eggs, but just omitted them, waste of time, energy and ingredients.

Ahhh don't you just love a list. Quite obsessed with them. Mark's mate Mads is coming after school due to a footy training day, so Mark has requested I clear the kitchen bench, and could I "try to be a bit nicer"... I replied "if you do be a bit nicer"
Humph, will see how we go..

Well that was just a bit crap

I was expecting a nice link, but alas no. This is the photo I wanted on the previous post. How cute is that, its a McCall's pattern and no, I don't sew, but have sent the link to my mother. My son's have no where to wear such a costume, so I don't really want her to make it. But its oh so cute. Imagine my little Ryan in that, or new bubba.... awww

Its cooler, had a gorgeous cool change this afternoon. So excited that I almost hugged a patient!

Ryan has heat rash from his baby man boobs to his chin :(

The big fellas are over "fixing" the boat.

I'm dizzy.

I have reflux and don't like it.

Feeling hot hot hot

I hate summer. I hate heat. I don't like getting too hot in winter either, not a fan of the electric blanket on overnight (Jamie is though).

This last week has been horrendous.
40 - 38 - 39 - 41 - 37 - tomorrow is due to be 42 and Sunday is 36 followed allegedly by a cool change around midday. Those figures might not be 100% correct, but bloody freaking close enough.

I'm 7 months pregnant, I don't do heat ordinarily, but this is just so much worse.

My RLS is shocking, I'm so tired and unable to do anything, because I can't leave the lounge room where the A/C is. Life, quite frankly, sucks at the moment. So I'm watching 18 hours of tv a day.. my brain is turning to mush. My house is going down the toilet.

There are floods, cyclones, ice storms, riots and wars all over the world. But all I care about is that is effing HOT and I want it to rain and loose some of this hotness.

In other news....

• Mark thinks high school has been marvellous so far. He's loving it.
• Had a GTT yesterday, will look up my results tomorrow.
• Jamie's new (second) job with Geeks2U is going really good.
• Ryan is going good, he babbles so much, he has half hour long stories - just wish I knew what it was all about.
• Sheena started special school today, still waiting to hear how it went.
• Mum got the all clear on her blood tests, and is being referred to an orthopaedic dude for more advice about her strange shaped back.
• Toby is starting his toilet training, I didn't hear the tinkle, but he does it.
• Only have 11 shifts of work to go before I start maternity leave and get to meet my new little fella.

Too many thoughts

I jokingly said on Facebook last night. I need a pensive. A pensive is a type of bird bath that you put all of your extra thoughts into, so you don't need to hold onto them all. I think it would be a good idea if such a thing really existed.

So what is it I'm thinking about:

The birth of my next baby, due in two months time. I want a c-section and it appears the powers that be at the hospital are quite happy to let me do that. The doc I saw yesterday is actually a GP with an advanced interested in obstetrics - so much so that he helps run the clinic - he raised an interesting point with me. Are you finished your family after this baby? Well yes I am. I have said all along that 3 is enough, I won't be going back to "try for a girl", I don't want to have to think about a new car to transport 4 children, the cost associated with 4 children, the car seats, the bedrooms, the school fees, sport fees, toys... well to be totally honest I'm done. I suggested to Jamie recently that he go for a vasectomy (didn't get a favourable response). Anyway this doctor suggestion a tubal ligation, its not something I thought about, mainly because I didn't' think they did it any more. It totally makes sense. No need to worry about contraception, no suprise baby at 45 when I think I'm hitting menopause. Plus my belly is already open (that was Jamie's comment, no need for me to have an operation). Anyone out there in blogland had a Tubal Ligation, any fors or againsts?