Feeling Sick

That is me today. I went to bed with a headache and some weirdo thing happening to my eyes.. they hurt and when I closed my eyes a flash of light would come out and feel like my eyes are doing a dance. Very strange.

Then I felt dizzy and the headache continues, so I got up when Jamie did to have a panadol, but I took my evening tablets (1200mg of Gabapentin) at 5.30am. VERY VERY wrong. I've been in a total fog today. Took the panadol later as well. Did my stupid pregnancy test like I do every month, and the damn thing says no.

I have NO energy. The idea of stacking the dishwasher makes me want to have a snooze.

My main problem of late is dysphasia or word association. I get twisted and tangled, the wrong word comes out all the time. Last night I wanted to tell Jamie a story, I got stuck on one word and could not continue.. I got so frustrated I had to take myself out of the room and come back once I'd settled down. This has been happening for about a year now, and it stresses me out no end. Tried to get into my doctor, but she is all booked out (again), will try again tomorrow.

Underbelly 2: Tale of Two Cities

I'm not getting into this Underbelly nearly as much as the last one. The villains were more likable in the first one, the sex was a part of the story, not just to show some boobs.

Following the first one was easy, I remember when Jason Moran was shot, I remember when the bloke in Chadstone was shot. Carl Williams got shot near my supermarket in Gladstone Park. Maybe that is what attracted me so much to the first one, the familiarity of it all.

I have heard of *Aussie Bob* Trimbole and Donald McKay. But maybe because it was from before my time, so far it is set in the 70's, it just feels old. I bet the family of Donald McKay it sure isn't old... opening old wounds maybe.

Matthew Newton is playing a bloody good part. For some reason, I just find him adorable, I loved him when he did comedy with David Campbell, loved him on Thank God You're Here, and I even liked that show *Stupid Stupid Man*

My problem is I'm just not getting enough background information about the story. But I'll stick it out, it will get better.

As Jamie mentioned watching it last night, gee it would have been easy to be a drug courier in the 70s. No xray scanners, no drug swabs, not as many customs/security people. Just have to watch out for a guilty conscience, and amazingly these people do not. As *Kiwi Terry* has said many times so far in Underbelly "Its not like anyone gets hurt"

The Biggest Loser

I just love it. I love that I can hate people I've never met who are trying to lose weight. Not because they are bad people, but because a tv show edits itself to have villains. I love the couple format rather than red and blue teams. They all seem genuinely nice people. Not sure of my take for who's gonna win.

Decisions

I need help.

We need a holiday this year. I just don't know where I want to go. I'd like to go somewhere different.
First thoughts are:

1. South America... but where in South America, it is such a big continent. The language difference is quite scary for me. Getting there would be expensive but cheap once we got there.

2. Mexico... the language is still a problem, more beachy and quite hot. I'd imagine this would be a fairly cheap holiday as well.

3. America... I'd love to see the places I see on tv, Grand Canyon, Las Vegas, New York and just doing a road trip. This one will be exy

4. Thailand... to be honest, it does not appeal at all.

5. Fiji... civil unrest.

6. Samoa... someone mentioned this the other day... .hmm might have to do some research.

7. Europe... well we've both been there, but its been 9 or 10 years and we haven't done it together

8. Hawaii... hmmm just not sure, can get pretty much the same holiday in Bali. I would really like to see an aircraft carrier though.

9. Canada... could see the rellies.

10. Ireland... I think it would be beautiful and I'd really like to go, might have trouble convicning Jamie though. For some reason I think Ireland has the same appeal as New Zealand.

11. Tasmania... boringly close but I really want to go back and get some good memories, the last time I was there was one of the worst periods of my life - I became a victim - and I want to change my memories.

12. New Zealand... again I want to rewrite my memories and travel there with Jamie

13. China/other asian countries.. once again, Asia just does not appeal to me.

So anyone want to give me their thoughts? I'm totally open to suggestions, so far the front runner in our mind is somewhere in South America. Argentina, Peru and a bit of central America ie Panama (Jamie wants to see the Prison Break prison... yes our life is totally shaped by tv)

Happy New Year.

Welcome back to my silly little blog.

Since November we have had Christmas - I have not taken many photos, but if I can find my dooby-lacka to add my photos, I'll put one up.

Christmas 2008 was just our little family. I had to work (again) so we had our present opening on Christmas Eve.

Marky got an orange Ipod Nano, which he had really wanted. A $30 itunes card. A water pistol. A game from my parents, Lego from my sister. He was somewhat happy with his stash, but I think he'll come to enjoy it as time goes on, I think he really wanted some extra pressies.

Jamie and I didn't get each other presents, as we are renovating our home. But Jamie got a whiteboard from my parents and I got a book.

Dinner on Xmas eve we had a LOVELY roast lamb and YUMMY potatoes and a salad, followed by my delicious *Pure Sin*. We watched the Carols by Candle Light until I saw that The Vicar of Dibly was on.

Xmas Day was a bit of a fizzer, work was work, Jamie and Mark worked on iTunes. We went to the beach in the arvo for a little swim with the man.

Then we got into the renovation spirit. Jamie has built a wall in our bedroom, just a tiny little wall for .......... wait for it...................................







built in wardrobe.







Very exciting for me this is. We have shared a TINY 1960s style wardrobe for the past 5 years and its very squashy. It will be nice to finish off the room. Jamie painted the walls a beautiful stone colour and a feature wall of *brushed bronze* metallic paint, its just gorgeous.

I'm not sure what is happening to me.

We have a new doctor at work. Lets call her "Sarah" (as that is her name)

Well I was having a conversation with her a couple of weeks ago, and - this is where it gets a bit weird - I couldn't quite concentrate as she has amazing breasts. I felt I became a bit of a man not looking at a person's face, but their chest. She did not appear to notice so I thought I was off the hook.

Then about a week later one of the other nurses, Sarah and I were having a bit of bitch about one of the other doctors who thinks she is VERY hot, but she is NOT hot at all. It was raised that this doctor was probably late as she was pushing her boobs up so more people could see them (I did say it was a bitch), well I felt the need to mention to Sarah "I just have to say, your boobs are amazing and I apologise for staring the other day"
"Not to worry" she said "They're fake"
OMG you could have knocked me over with a feather, I didn't know real people did that. The other nurse happened to have had a reduction!


Then a couple of days ago. Mark and I were at Jesmond and there was a pregnant woman, also with largish breasts. Once again, I was slightly distracted by the breasts. From behind I thought I recognised the husband as a friend of Jamie's from his cricket team, but I wasn't sure. So once I got home, I asked if Adam's wife was pregnant again, jamie asked why. I had to explain why I thought this, and Jamie's response was "OH you and the boobs AGAIN".

So today, Jamie told the story about Sarah from work to a bloke from his work. Now he wants to visit my work and have a good old perve.

MEDIA

Some of my favourites:

Packed to the Rafters - This started just after the Olympics. I love everything about this show, its so normal, funny and sad. Just completely normal. I loved the almost relationship that started tonight, Rachel and a man on a bike who had MS - why didn't she kiss him. I was certain he had AIDS and that was what all the medications were about. But it was MS and now he's out of the show :(

All Saints - I'm kind of new to the show. Never watched it before this year and I went through nursing school... imagine that. I love it. I like my days off when I get to watch older episodes. Jamie can I have the box set for Christmas????

Spicks and Specks - This is a music quiz show with two teams of three. Alan Brough and Myf Warhurst are the captains and they each have someone musicals (from all genres) and a comedian. I usually laugh so hard I nearly wet myself. Jamie doesn't like it, but he often watches it with me. I hardly know any of the answers, but enjoy the banter.

Australian Idol - Came in a little late this year. This week was Michael Jackson week. My favourite was Wes singing "Black and White" and Luke singing "The way you make me Feel". I was not such a fan of the renditions of Thriller, Bad and I didn't hear Teale sing "Billie Jean". It was so bizarre, we spent all of lunch time today talking about Idol, and that discussion included one of the lovely consultants. It was quite fun.

Dancing with the Stars - Again its my first year with Dancing, I love it. Yes it was Daniel McPherson that sucked me in. I think he's SOOO beautiful. I reckon Danny Green the boxer will win it. Or that gorgeous Luke from H&A.

Hamish and Andy, a minor obsession, loving *The Caravan of Courage* 4-6pm weekdays on NX-FM. These guys have taken me away from the ABC.

On the book front I have just finished the TWILIGHT series. I ate it up. Didn't sleep too much when I first got the book. The wasted/spent too much money on the 4 books in the series. IF you haven't read them. I suggest you do it.

Today.

I'm about to have a couple of days off.

So since the last time I *blogged* lots has happened.

We decided to start renovating. That means scraping off the old paint!!!
We need to repaint the hallway, our room, the scrap room.
We are re-doing the kitchen - completely. New appliances, new flooring, new (or new to us) cupboards and hopefully a new kitchen table.
New carpets in all the bedrooms and the lounge room.
New flooring in the computer room.
I have also discovered the need to replace the bathroom bench top (disintegrating)

Its such a messy job. Paint chips everywhere. Exhausting work. Will be so satisfying when its done.

I'm sick of being a landlord, its a crap situation that is so biased toward the tenants. When someone hasn't paid on time for about a whole year, but we can't evict him due to a public holiday in the eviction period so we haven't given him enough notice. HUMPH.

A huge congratulations to Connie & Paul on the news of their pregnancy. Hopefully we will have moved back by then, so we can be involved in the lives of our nieces and nephews. Sheena is a superstar, Roy is growing SOOOO quickly. I don't want to miss out on the new one as well.

Music

Its strange... I want some music in my life. For years I have not felt this way. I didn't enjoy music on the radio, I prefer talk radio and don't like it when they play music between segments, preferring the talking.
Currently I am watching a Metallica with the Symphony Orchestra DVD and loving it. Tomorrow Mark and I will head out to JB HiFi to get some CDs. He really wants the 10th Anniversary Beer Songs, I want Welcome to the Jungle by Guns 'n' Roses and Beyonce Knowles new song "If I were a Boy" I heard that on Hamish and Andy last week and totally fell in love with it. I haven't heard it since but feel slightly obsessed about hearing it again.

In other news....
Marky is a bit sick - its currently 3.45am and we're on the couch watching the DVD together after he woke me with a "yucky feeling" in his tummy. Well he tried to poo without success, then all of a sudden he jumped up and said "I need to vomit" and the good boy made it to the loo and spewed his guts up. Poor little fella. Hence I won't send him to school tomorrow and we'll go to JB together :)

Still more news.....
After work tonight Jamie said that his old friend from the Boeing Picket line (older readers of this blog will know that for 10 months back in 2005 Jamie was on strike over collective bargaining) was coming over in the afternoon. Rom, let me tell you about Rom, he loud, opinionated, annoying but essentially a good hearted man. Rom had a woman called "Rosanna" with him, she is Chilean and didn't speak any English, only Spanish. Rom is orignially from Chile via Poland and Rosanna is the daughter of his very close friend from Chile, sort of like a niece. She was LOVELY and lonely. SBS doesn't have many spanish tv shows and everyone speaks english. Rom is a huge talker and quite boring - Boeing just lost their contract with the RAAF and so that is the focus of his talking, not something she is interested in. I think she enjoyed being near me and seeing Mark. We were quite good at sign language and managed to communicate. So Friday after work we will take them both to Stockton Beach over the sand dunes and have a BBQ at the beach. So that should be lovely.

I'll talk about my trip to Melbourne later, I'm getting a bit tired.

Love Mondays...

I know that Sir Bob sings "I don't like Monday's" but I actually do. As usual its all about the TV. I love City Homicide, Bones and the best Boston Legal. They had better not have replaced it for whatever was on last week.

This Monday was strange. Its the bizarre public holiday in NSW that catches me by surprise each year. Way back before we moved to Newcastle, I flew to Newie to be with Jamie for the weekend to *help* him look for a house to rent and lo-and-behold it was this - I think its Labour Day - long weekend. So we never got a chance to look at rental homes.

I hated work today, far too stressful. But thankfully I don't have similar staffing for 18 days. Leave it for others to deal with, she affects me far too much. Don't know why.

Tomorrow, I leave for a couple of days in Melbourne. Finally get to meet Roy.

Heartbreak

Or lung break, or blood vessel break.


Not entirely sure which one it is yet. My darling niece Sheena seems to be unwell. Its a strange one too.
She is lethargic, in that she sleeps so much, a good 12 hours at night and a nap of 3-4 hours. Awake time is activity that is normal for a 2.5 year old.

THen there is the *blue episodes*. Jo sent me a picture of her when she was blue and its tragic. Bluish little fat fingers and tinges around her mouth. During these episodes her oxygen saturations drop to sometimes 75% - normal is 98+%

Jo, Mark and my mum took her to the emergency department several times, she got an appointment with the kids cardiologist. She had an ECHO on her heart. She is seeing the respiratory doc in two weeks. She is having a holter monitor heart check on Friday.

PLEASE don't let there be anything major wrong with our dearest Sheena. She is the lifeblood of our family. Every single thing she does is a marvel. She is a great signer - even makes up sensible signs herself - she is amazing. Little Mark and tiny Roy are fabulous, but it is just expected that they achieve, when Sheena does its brilliant. She is smart, funny, not to mention completely and utterly adorable.

Can you tell I'm in love with her. I get to see her in just over two weeks.

Elections.

I love elections.
I've always loved elections.
Going to the polling booth with my parents at my primary school was my first memory of elections. Mum letting me go to a little cardboard booth, the official-ness of it. A person sitting at a small desk with a HUGE book of names.
When I was 18, I experienced my first election where I could vote. I enrolled early to make sure I could do it.
I've made some odd choices over the years... I voted for Philip Nitschke when he was running for the seat of Menzies. I thought that everyone thought the same way as me about voluntary euthanasia - how wrong I was - I was one of 1200ish people that voted for him. The annoying Kevin Andrews won by a landslide with about 46,000 votes and the labour dude got 26,000 votes. Hmmm I sort of wasted by vote, being around 1.5% of the electorate that thought Dr Nitschke was a shoe-in.
Anyway the purpose of this post is how much I love the American Elections, despite them going on for FAR TOO LONG. I'm glad I don't live there - for many reasons not just the election process, how about universal health care people??? I'm not sure who the American's will vote for, I don't think half of the country could allow a black man to be president. As there is not compulsory voting, only those that are passionate vote. This allows the hate mongering to show through. But I don't see how a 72 year old man can fulfill what is required of the American President, from what I can see, you are not allowed to sleep! A comment is required almost 24/7 and the pack of wolves that is the media need that comment NOW.

But now I'm finding the stories of the Vice-President nominees extremely interesting. Joe Biden sounds just wonderful. I listened to the speech by his son Beau and it made me cry. The fact that he was able to continue, as well as being a very productive member of society for the past 30 years when his wife and daughter were killed in a car crash... then finding a new wife that his sons loved and "they" asked her to marry them, and "they" got married. Oh its just such a romantic story. Then there is Sarah Palin, well I'm just not too sure. I think the religious side is too much, I can't believe I said that, but her staunch opposition to abortion I find quite offensive. I think they will play on the fact that little Trig is a blessed child with extra chromosomes, and that will sway parents of children with disabilities, but just because her has a child with DS does not necessarily make her an advocate for them. The path forward will tell. Trig is just a few months old, so being a parent of a kid with disability is a new experience for Sarah and her husband.

Well I've truly let my colours be known. If I was American - I'd vote for Barack Obama in a heart beat.

Sheena and Roy

Have I mentioned how much I love these kids? This is Sheena and Roy at my parents house just after Sheena's nap. Photogenic as well. They are both going through *winter* stuff. That means colds, Sheena is a shocker when it comes to a cold, her face goes all sickly and she's miserable and yuck. She tends to go a bit blue as well (oh dear), so my sis has bought a pulse oximeter off EBAY to check her oxygen saturations. She's a clever girl my sister.
Roy has improved out of sight, it went from one day getting ready for open heart surgery in the next three days, to home and now almost great. He has some issues with "work of breath" which means its hard to breathe. His whole little body huffs and puffs to just maintain. He also has a cold at the moment, and as he's only 3 months old, makes it hard to get ones milk when you can't breathe.

I'm hopefully going to visit in October. I haven't' officially met Roy. Sheena definitely needs a cuddle from her aunt again. I wonder if Jo will notice if I take Sheena home with me? I think I'd like to keep her.

I have an urge... two actually.

I want to start scrapbooking again. I miss it. I love making pages to show off. I like what I create, I'm not celebrity style, but I'm a good amateur. For my birthday, mum got me a Cuttlebug and I love it. Now I just need to keep on scrapping.

My second urge is weeding. My front yard looks like yokels live here. Messy (that's Mark's fault) and overgrown.
Its a gorgeous day of about 18C today and sunny. So I'll put on my rubber gloves and start weeding.

About midday I have to go to a choir performance that Mark is in. Hmmm... can the boy sing.... no, but I'm a good mum and want to see him. He made me promise not to "bother him" that he will want to hang out with his friends, and not sit with me. I told him, he'll be on stage singing, not sitting with me or his friends. Once again, the poor boy is confused.

Ahhh... now much better

Well was it whooping cough? To be honest, now I don't think so. Last Wednesday I would have bet anyone a million dollars that it was... coughing until I vomited - yuck.

Still awaiting some results from Symbion - now that annoys me - I emailed them to ask how long results normally take as I need to results to return to work. Not a response, what is the point of having a contact us page and no one to respond????

Marko is all better. Jamie only coughs occasionally now. I'm coughing a little bit, but am essentially better.

So what else?
Nothing actually. Life is pretty boring.

Sick of sickness.

My whole house has been engulfed in sickness.
Jamie still has his whooping cough - although thankfully its almost past now, only coughs about once a day.
Friday 22nd about 4am Marko came into me complaining of sore legs. I got him to the lounge room to put some Deep Heat on his legs when he said "My elbows hurt, my arms hurt etc" then I felt him... bloody hot.
He had Friday off school with Jamie up at the shed and they didn't get home until 1am as Jamie was putting the turbo in the Patrol.
Saturday, woken at 3am with the same scenario... hot hot hot... gave him some panadol and we sat on the couch watching a dumb movie. I was working Saturday arvo so he was home with Jamie who was in the garage with Ricky from footy making up some plaques. Mark did not have any tea, not hungry.
Sunday, woken at 2am (are you seeing a theme?), again hot, hot, hot... well I finally found my thermometer and took the poor boys temperature, it was at least 39C as that is as far as my thermometer goes (its a fertility one), and I panicked. Jamie wouldn't wake up - once he's asleep, there is just no waking him - so I called the GP Access Clinic which is wonderful. I knew he wasn't ED criteria, but he needed to see a doctor, or more to the truth, I needed to talk to someone to tell me not to panic. I did not inform them I was a nurse, that would just be embarrassing.
We went to the GP Access doc on Sunday who said Mark had the flu...
I was home with him on Monday and Tuesday.
Tuesday evening, my throat seized on me and both Mark and I have been coughing ever since.
I've been dizzy, nauseas, not eating *well there has to be one positive* coughing, grumpy, sleepy, sneezy and feverish.
Its awful, as of tomorrow, I will have had 5 days off work = for a damned cold!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Coughing.

That is the main sound in our house for the past month!

Jamie is coughing.
Jamie is coughing, a lot.

Today he was officially diagnosed with Whooping Cough. I'm very surprised as I thought it was a children's disease. I have been vaccinated, as has Mark which I guess is why we don't have it.

Dramas with this cough include - its bloody noisy. He seems to stop breathing during a coughing fit. The force of the cough makes him vomit.

On the weekend, he was having a bad night. He had his friend Aaron over to help him fix his computer. I had gone to bed. Jamie started to cough, he walked from the kitchen into the office and stopped... he coughed... stopped breathing... and fell down and stayed there for about 30 seconds making Aaron very frightened... scaring Mark and his friend Madsen. Anyway he's fine now.

Medications include: Intal (a medication like ventolin to suppress the cough) and now codeine phosphate to work on the cough centre in the brain. Seems to be working.

That Intal was a bother.... Friday I worked until about 4.10pm drove to school to collect Mark, drove to Hamilton to collect Madsen, drove to Lemon Tree Passage (50km) to collect Jamie, drove to Newcastle West to try to get the script, drove to Hamilton (again) to try and get script, drove home (dropped off Jamie, Mark and Madsen), drove to Charlestown and got the script and then drove home!!! I was very exhausted after all of that.

Other news is my friend Ella turned 30. There was a big *do* with all the cool chicks from work. Unfortunately I had to work, so I arrived at about 10.30pm and it was fun, even if only for the short time. I work with some beautiful women, Kathryn, Lauren, Ella, Toni and Amy to name just a few.

Football was a disaster on Sunday, biffo with the Port Stephen's Team. Freaking rediculous that kids footy would do such awful things to parents. There is going to be an investigation in the behaviour of EVERYONE. Finally Daniel came to play and he scored the only point for the U12s.

I'm done - I think.

Toronga Zoo

Thursday we went to the zoo with my friend from work Ella and her two girls Jena and Kayla.
Marky has a *thing* for Jena - which is really just friendship but because Jena is a girl, its a *thing*.
Here are some photos from the day.

School holidays.

We are officially up to Day 4 of the holidays and I don't think I want to kill Mark just yet.

Over the weekend we had a great visit from Frank and Ernie. It was so comfortable with them. The three men worked VERY hard on fixing our 4WD, rebuilding the engine from scratch as far as I can tell. They didn't get home from the shed until midnight on Sunday after having footy in the morning - the kids won again - then straight up to the shed, working all bloody day and night. Poor Jamie had to go to work in the morning starting at 6am!!

Monday Jamie went to work and I hung out at home with the fellas... then we did a huge drive up to "The Bay" or Salamander Bay and then around to the Lemon Tree Passage to get some hand cleanser for after working on cars. Gets the grease off really well. We got a huge 20L drum of it and not really sure how to dispense it into a smaller container so that it is usable.

Tuesday Marko went to School Holiday Program at the Hunter Sport Centre where he did "Mission Impossible" which he loved. Lots of gymnastics type stuff and running and jumping and other things that middle sized boys love. His favourite thing was jumping into the *foam pit*.

Wednesday was officially the coldest day of the year 15 degrees and WINDY. So what did Mark and I decide to do.. walk all the way to Jesmond for no good reason other than wasting time.

The football crisis deepens....
I still haven't vacuumed.
Roy is much better - or so I believe
My throat hurts, one of those left side only, OMG all of a sudden I can't swallow. Must have some panadol

Tomorrow we are going to the most beautiful zoos in the world - Toronga Zoo in Sydney with my friend Ella and her daughters Jena and Kayla. Mark and Jenna have a *thing* which really is just friendship but gee its cute, he is SOOO excited to see her, his clothes are all laid out for tomorrow (his spunkiest clothes), he washed his hair with shampoo twice, soaped his whole body twice and even brushed his teeth tonight without being told - and that is unheard of - all in preparation of seeing Jena! Wow that girl has some influence.

Other thoughts from this period of time is FOSTER PARENTING. I need to have some time to talk to Jamie, but I feel my life is heading in the direction of fostering kids. I have wanted to it for about 5 years so.. just a niggle in the back of my mind, but I wanted to wait until Mark was older and less likely to be hurt. As time progresses and I'm still not pregnant, my mind wanders to other ideas: adoption or fostering. The news these days are littered with stories of neglected, abused children and no one to look after them. The story of the twins in QLD who died at home and were not noticed by their mother for a week had a profound effect on me. I want kids and these "breeders" who have no job, no money, have kids to get the baby bonus just keep on reproducing. Then Frank loaned me the book "A Child Called It" and I think my life is changed forever. This is the story of Dave Pelzer who lives in America and was severely abused by his alcoholic mother from the age of about 6 until he was taken away at about 12. Boys and girls like Dave become the criminals of the future if foster parents don't step in and help. The on Sunday night was the show "Domestic Blitz" which featured a lady who has fostered close to 500 kids in her lifetime, well that was the clincher.
I think Jamie and I would make great foster parents. We are home a lot. We have space. We have a good home. We just need a little bit more money - get over this current crisis, and Jamie NEEDS a new job. Then we will seriously look into this.

I'm officially....

in love

with my nephew.

Check out the latest photos of Roy here.

YAY, June will be over in 7 hours. What a disastrous month for my family.