Sunday, January 16, 2011

Just a bit scared.

Please allow me to get all serious for a moment.
I know it is possible. But how can you love all your children the same?

Mark was the centre of my universe for 11 years... solely him. I adore him (he shits me, but I adore him), I love that we can talk, share stuff, be silly together, and I totally understand him.

Ryan is the most amazing baby that anyone could wish for. He is so placid, interested, cheeky, easy going and totally gorgeous. I can't believe how much I love him. I love that he's the "spitting image" of his father (a more good looking version - sorry Jamie). He's turning into a little nerd, he obsessed with the telephone, remote controls, and any button he's not allowed to touch - as I rescue the computer from being turned off (again). I love how he plays with his mobile (the ones babies lie underneath when they are small) but now looks at the back and moves the switches.

So how do I fit another little boy into my heart? I know that I will... but it seem so impossible, don't you think? Everything I have ever read said that your heart expands to the number of children you have.

2 comments:

becspicer said...

From the moment you see and hold your new baby, it'll be love at first sight- just like it was when Mark and Ryan were born. As you know I have three kiddos and I can honestly truly say that I love each of them equally and completely.

I know for me, the loving of my children is not a concious decision. I just do!! I think we have the possibility to love an I finite number people.

My concern when Charlee was born was how I was going to balance my time so all three never miss out. I've found that has worked itself out too. Us mums are pretty amazing people and we should be proud of all we manage to do and confident in ability to parent.

Alicia (The Red Deer) said...

Your heart definitely does expand - I was worried about the same thing before I had Grace, but I definitely have as much love for Grace as I do for Zoe.

I also find it hard to balance the time between Zoe and Grace - unfortunately Zoe has had to learn to play by herself a fair bit while I tend to Grace - but it all seems to be going okay. The only bad times are when they are both crying and you have to choose which one to console.