I'm aching from head to toe. I have serious aches happening in my thighs, hips, shins and calves at the moment. Earlier today it was in my biceps and back.
I can't sit still. I'm cramping up (in my legs) almost constantly and to a small extent those dark thoughts are creeping back.
My worry is extreme exhaustion. I have babies to care for, the one growing inside of me I worry for as I'm getting tempted to resort to drugs. I know he's almost fully grown, but doesn't need to stress of drugs to hamper his development. I don't know of a doctor that will take me seriously.
This is NOT pregnancy related RLS, but this is freaking serious RLS that I've had since I was 17 years old.
It started off slowly, a minor ache in my lower leg (we called it the "heebie jeebies"), could be redirected with a hot bath and a panadol.
It steadily became worse over the years, I didn't get it everyday, but was aware of their being something odd about my legs and sleeping.
When we moved to Newcastle it became something that I needed to see a doctor about. From old blog posts, I think it would have been about 2004-2005 that I first went to a doctor about my RLS and how it was affecting my sleep. I was given sleeping tablets and sent to a neurologist Dr Burton. He gave me electrical conductive tests and I can't remember what else. Fast forward a couple more years, have seen a respiratory/sleep disorder specialist, another neurologist (Dr Lechner-Scott), had sleep studies, EEG, blood tests all which report I have idiopathic RLS - which means of unknown origin. Genetics tells me that because my nan and mum both have mild versions, I have it from them! Thanks ladies.
So after years of
- powerful benzodiazepines,
- long acting morphine,
- neuropathic pain deviators,
- old wives tales,
- copious amounts of bath water,
- panadol, and
I don't want advice, I just want to put my feelings out there, maybe use this blog as a pensieve to remove nasty and debilitating thoughts from my head.