Post Christmas Wrap Up

We had an awesome Christmas.

I was not expecting this.

It was "just us", just our little foursome, one of whom barely eats.

Mark was so excited, he woke up the first time at 5:30am and I sent him back to bed. At 6:30 he came in, I can't wait any longer, we could hear that Ryan was awake (he was doing his normal chatting to himself whilst in the cot), our challenge would be to wake Jamie. I managed to get him up by stating that in 3-7 years times when Marko is in the full throws of teenage-hood the little boys will be waking him up early in excitement to open Christmas presents, so this year is Mark's payback... seemed to work. All I know is that for the next 12 or so years, we will have a 5-6am Christmas morning! (oh help me now, I'll be nearly 50!)

Our sad Christmas tree looked very full underneath. We have had it protected by the playpen as Ryan is a bit of a destroyer and since his birthday, he has worked out how to open presents.

Mark got a good stash of presents.

• A Simpson's Scene it DVD game
• Statue of "The Stig"
• Lollies
• iTunes gift card (that he was a bit confused about but then became evident why)
• A wallet
• A big Nerf gun - the latest craze; and
  
• His own iPhone.

He is beside himself about the iPhone, we have not got a SIM card for it, will wait and see really how necessary it is for a 12 year old to have a mobile phone in this day and age. The iPhone is really and iPod Touch which phone availability. I don't' think it has left his side (hand) since he got it. We pimped it with a bright green cover, so it doesn't look the same as mine, and he's been downloading lots of apps for it.

Ryan, well, just had a birthday, so it was a bit harder for him. But he got a truck, some Thomas trains, a flip out couch, a blankie and some clothes. (I'm sure there was other stuff, but its 5am and I need to go back to bed)

Jamie and I got food! Jamie gave me a Kenwood Patissier Kitchen Aid which is a lovely retro bright red. I was beside myself with excitement and have been baking up a storm. Jamie had purchased himself a remote controlled helicopter towards the end of the year, so that was considered his present.

Lunch was good, I cooked my first turkey... still not the biggest fan of turkey, so will hopefully not bother next year, but then again, I might get swept up in the emotion of Christmas again. One where I'm the mum to three boys and hopefully living in Melbourne again ;)

Will post some photos in the *real* morning.

Justice according to a 12 yo.

I have only "sort of" following the story of Keli Lane murdering her daughter Tegan, you can read a 7.30 Report story about it here.

This morning during the news, they reported that Keli will be spending Christmas in jail because she was found guilty of the murder yesterday.

Mark then said "Oh that's sad, she'll in jail for Christmas"
Me: "But she murdered her baby daughter"
Mark: "But that was in 1994!"
Me: "It doesn't matter how long ago...."

He then lost interest in the conversation and went back to playing with his baby brother.

BUT, isn't that interesting. If something happens 14 years ago, he doesn't think she should be punished. Or is it that he doesn't understand what the report was saying and only heard "jail for Christmas" I just found it quite fascinating.

WOW Thanks.

What an awesome bunch of girlies I know. I shall be implementing some of these ideas over the next few months.

Today we're in our 24th week of pregnancy. Time seems to be standing still, but racing along at the same time.

Ryan turned one last week - he's a boy with a mission, that mission is standing!
Mark is emotional, but quite good considering.
Jamie is worrying me though - he's sick so much, need to convince him to see a doctor. He needs a new job, I'm positive its related to anxiety over his current job and bad nutrition which I can't convince him to fix.

I need help!

Advice time please.

My dearest son, Mark, is now 12.5 years old. It appears he is in the midst of puberty.
Check out the photos.... this one was from one year ago - probably to the day - he is a boy, young fresh and innocent!

This one is from a couple of weeks ago, the face shape has changed, he is bigger, his feet have become flippers! You know what I mean.

My problem is constantly asking for stuff and saying no to everything. Yes I'm aware this is quite normal, but how does one deal with it.

EVERY single day, he says "I don't want a shower", and it truly is every single day. Mark is a sweater, he has the beginnings of acne. I want him to take pride in himself, being clean, nice smelling and caring for his skin. In the bathroom, we have lots of different cleansers for pimple prone skin.. he is still fighting using it. I've explained that he's not doing it for me, but for his own self esteem. He is a very good looking boy, he doesn't need acne, if it comes despite us trying well that is one thing, but not trying at all is failure. His hair is always greasy and his skin is sticky from sweat. It doesn't seem to bother him, but we're a modern family and have access to clean water and it is cultural to have daily showers. Why does he fight this. At 6.45am this morning he came into my room and whispered in my ear, not fully checking if I was awake... "Oh mum, I don't want a shower this morning ok?"
So we have a fight at 6.45am.. yes that's a nice way to start ones day.

Other issue is money and shopping.
He has no concept of money and its worth. We haven't done pocket money, not really sure why, but it hasn't' worked for us. I must admit, I spoiled him as a younger kid, when we went shopping, I'd get him a Matchbox car, they were only $3 and it was a nice thing to do. Now his tastes have changed. Its Nerf guns he wants. "This one is only $20 mum, its really cheap", "This one is only $50 and its really rare" and of course I say no. Then he stomps off, then he gets in my face and asks over and over and over and over again. So I have to say no over and over etc... well you get the picture. So then it changes to oh seems I can't have a Nerf gun, can I have a coke, a chocolate bar, a movie, a new pair of shoes, a hat, a ball, a donut, a book (oooh mum you want me to read) and it continues until I get so cross I nearly cry. So instead of saying "no" once, I have said it 15 times and he's almost crying and so am I.
We often discuss that its not fair to ask for things all the time, that we have a limited income and will soon have three kids. He understands that and then the comment "If I be good for this trip and don't ask for anything, can I have a clear **insert whatever blasted thing he wants**"

HOW DO I RESPOND TO THIS?

I'm 23 weeks pregnant, someone who can't cope in heat, and its hot, I have a small baby, I don't sleep very well, I get worn out. He wears me down, sometimes I give in, probably too often which is why he keeps it up. But my last comment makes the most sense. If I spend $20 on something for Mark each time we go out (which he seems to expect, and no I don't indulge him that often) when Ryan and the new baby are bigger that is $60... we can't afford that, no one can. Its totally wrong to indulge that much anyway, I'm aware of that.

My mother has suggested that we start giving him an allowance and all his indulgences he has to pay for himself. That makes sense, what is a good figure for allowance? We plan to give him a prepaid phone for Christmas, one for him to text his friends and call me, so that will be about $30 every two months... that is my expectation. I can see that being a huge battle when the credit runs out.

We also have issues with extreme screen time, he will be on the computer from the minute he walks in the door until he goes to bed given the choice. That is 6 hours!!! I have to drag him away to do his chores which are a really basic feed the dogs and empty the dishwasher daily. Mow the lawn and generally help out when asked. But its such a chore.

Ok I'm going to stop now, I really need help, Mark is living with us for at least the next 5 years, we have to live in a way that doesn't require me to yell... cos that doesn't work either.

An update.

Its been a while, but if you want to really know what is going on in my life, I live on Facebook.

Bored

Not too bored really. Just alone.
Baby is asleep - he only had one nap today, so went to bed early.
Mark and Jamie have gone to the Newcastle Regional AFL Award night.

I've done a lot blog surfing (a fabulous time waster), some include Pudge and Zippy, Josie and Sarah. These are all based on babies/adults with Down Syndrome. The first two are babies who have been adopted and they just make me cry, they've been through the AV fistula repair, gastrostomy tubes and hospital visits. The other one about Sarah, is a 21 year old woman living a full and interesting life. Makes me go all mushy.

Ryan updates: he's on the move, not crawling, but definitely not staying put. He can roll, reach, stretch and wriggle to get where he wants to go. Its not very far, but can be annoying. Our home is not nearly childproofed yet. That is happening over the next two weeks. He nearly reached far enough to get a saw tonight!! How would I explain that to the ED?

Back at work tomorrow. I really enjoy work now. Still not a huge fan of morning shift - I really HATE showering people. But lots happens and I lurve the people I work with.

Jamie has managed to get next week off, which will be marvellous for the renovation. My in-laws are coming and they are a huge help when it comes to stuff like that. Hopefully this means my kitchen will be finished - including the walls being painted! Maybe even the hallway will be painted too (I think we started to prepare the hallway about three years ago), its so shit, but we don't notice it anymore.

Things I want/love

Once again, thanks to Elsie for the idea for this post:

1. I want this decal - can be got from here. My plan is to put this on the wall above our coffee machine (should we ever actually get it)

2. Coffee Machine: It is for our birthday present, for both Jamie and I. We're both totally in love with lattes at the moment. Can't get enough of them. But they are quite expensive, we decided to put a big up front cost and get a machine, but Jamie is "looking" on Ebay. Of course that one is far too expensive, but you get the idea.

3. Pretty cupcake papers. I will to get these at some point, still going with the plain and boring ones from the supermarket at the moment. These ones come from The Cupcake Courier.


4. Special baking. I made a fancy 4 layer lemon cake for my dad's birthday. Very impressed with the taste and the look of it.

Colds

We all have colds. I'm not a fan.


In other news, we have a new website which has videos on it.

www.miitube.net

So far, it only has Mark and Ryan. But really that is all you want to see.

Ryan has 2 teeth now, he's attempting to talk. "dadadadada" and well not much else.

Its really cold. There was snow of the Barrington Tops and the wind is blowing from that direction. BRRR

Gluten Free Banana Cake

2 cups rice flour

3 tsp baking powder

1/2 tsp salt

250g butter

1 1/4 cups sugar (I used 1/4c brown sugar and a cup of white sugar)

23 oz bananas (I use 3 average sized ones)

4 large eggs

4 tbsp icing sugar

1 tbsp lemon juice

Preheat oven to 350

Sift flours with baking powder and salt (yeah right, I never sift)

Beat the butter, sugar and bananas together until smooth and then briefly stir in the eggs.

Stir this into the flour mixture until blended.

Pour into a large loaf pan and bake for about 1 - 1 1/4 hours or until a skewer comes out clean and the cake is just firm.

Cool for 10 minutes and then mix the sugar with the lemon juice and drizzle over the top. (I like it lemony so I use more lemon juice)

That's all there is to it!

This cake is lemony and moist and delicious, and will keep well for several days. Even if you have no problem with gluten, you should try this fantastic recipe.

New Obsessions

Not really new as such, but more pronounced.

I love baking and to some extent... cooking.

Over the last couple of weeks I have made:
Hedgehog (was told that I was worth marrying just for the hedgehog - not by Jamie)
Chocolate Cake
Sultana Cake
Banana Bread

Last night for dinner I made a delicious beef roast with a mustard crust - which appears to be our favourite. I want to try a pot roast, or one done in the slow cooker.
Tonight is Potato and Leek soup which I've done in the slow cooker, looks amazing (for potato soup!)
I search the internet for my recipes, really must stop buying cook books, but its a hobby in itself.

Whilst I've been writing this, I have RUINED a whole pot of Ryan's food. Half a pumpkin has been burned :((

TIRED

Yep that is me. TIRED. The darling baby boy is sleeping through the night, but I'm not. I wake every hour, thrash around, get up, reorganise the doona (Jamie is a very annoying cocoon sleeper, so I lose my doona)

On a sidebar... lose/loose its really had to know what one to use. The same with bought and brought, so I usually rewrite sentences to include purchase so I don't make an idiot of myself.

I'm up to working 4 days a week and am finding it very hard. I worry all the time how Jamie is coping with Ryan. Jamie doesn't "get" the routine yet.

Mark has been ok, not as rude as last week. Might stem from the fact I've barely seen him. Looking forward to doing something together today. Hopefully it won't just be housework.

Tweenies

How do you deal with your tween?

Mark turned 12 last week. He had a fabulous day, lots of presents, food he wanted, centre of attention. Just the way he likes it. He was amazingly lovely.

Today, I got the "other" Mark, the one I'd prefer to call Kram (the anti-Mark).

Kram is awful. Disrespectful. Rude. Disobedient. Smelly. Messy. Tired. Grumpy.

Case in point: Last night was the final performance of StarStruck which is a big song and dance show for approx 3000 kids from the entire Hunter region. Mark is not a singer or a dancer, but I think saw it as a way to get out of school and experience something different (ok I'll give him the benefit of the doubt). The evening performances finish at 10pm, I had to collect him at 10:15pm then its home to bed. Last night I had to bring his friend Mads as well as we all do football on Sunday mornings. Everyone thought it would just be easier if he stayed over. Makes sense. But having a friend over - who is a thoroughly delightful although a little worldly boy - brings out Kram. When I suggested that it was 11.15 and they should go to bed. I got the "WHY?" we can stay up until 1am without any problems. He was in my face saying WHY WHY WHY. I stuck to my guns.. they were in bed and fast asleep by 11.40. These boys were TIRED. But for Kram to listen I had to turn into a banshee and I don't like that. That is not my personality. I had to threaten to hit him. I have taken away all his computer/tv/scooter privileges for today. But as I said "until tomorrow" I got the shrug with "I don't care" comment.

They both had trouble waking up (surprise surprise) and then pretty much refused to get ready for a pretty important football match. Jamie likes to leave at 8am, at 8:10 Kram was still fussing around. But it all happened and they have left. Ryan isn't so well, so I'm staying at home.

I asked Jamie for some back up and got "that's how he treats me at football training"

I don't know what to do. I know he's a good kid, I see the good kid. What changes him and how do I deal with it?

Any suggestions would be much appreciated.

Not the start I was expecting.

Well I've returned to work. It was easy, comfortable and good. I liked who I worked with, the first two days weren't too difficult... different story for Saturday, but due to confidentiality laws.. best keep that story to myself (but ARRGGHHHH just about covers it)

So how wasn't it like I was expecting?
Firstly little Ryan was sick, so no childcare. Jamie stayed home with him. Up until this day, Jamie had "parented" Ryan for a maximum of 3 hours by himself. Thursday was a 9.5hr day with a sickie. Ryan is a good sickie though, he spends most of his time sleeping. Jamie coped beautifully. Friday I was on afternoon shift, my original plan had me leave for work at 1pm and Mark arrives home to help at 3.30pm. Mark spent the night at a friends house, so no helper. I still left at 1pm, after work went to my friends house and didn't get home until midnight then was due back at work the next morning. Jamie is a wonderful dad. I hope I won't sell him short anymore. He does a great job.

Saturday was BUSY. After work I had to collect Mark from Damien's house, met that family, had a cup of tea. Then home, get changed cos Jamie and I were out to dinner. We went to the "Figtree" restaurant in Mayfield. Its really yummy. 8 courses of mostly meat followed by dessert. Had a glass of wine, which looked like 20ml in the bottom of a giant glass. I know there was more in there, but the glass was so massive. Our boys were babysat by Terese.

Stressed out.

Yep that is me. Completely stressed. Can't achieve anything. Feeling very inadequate.

I'm going back to work tomorrow. This is a good thing, I have been a bit lonely whilst on Maternity Leave. I think the last two months have been better, sort of been forcing myself onto people and that is a good thing. I love football season, I love the community of the football club. I really miss them in summer. I'm worried about how I'll fit into an adult environment again, worried about the dynamics of the place, worried about how Jamie will cope with Mark and Ryan on his own, worried about money, worried about lack of money, worried about food, worried about cleaning, worried about health. What am I doing to combat this worry? Nothing. Certainly am not facing it.

SHIT Ryan is due to have needles today and he's sick as! Will wait until next week then.

Just four

FOUR JOBS YOU'VE HAD IN YOUR LIFE

1. Registered Nurse - well duh, only ever worked at John Hunter, hope to experience a Melbourne hospital before too long
2. Phlebotomist - otherwise known as a blood collector. It was an easy job, sometimes busy, but generally just stabbing people in the arm.
3. Microbiologist - well a couple of rungs below, I was actually a "Medical Laboratory Technician", I worked sorting pathology samples, looking at body fluids under the microscope and putting them onto agar plates to see if any microorganisms would grow - BORING
4. Courier - again with blood (do you see my career theme?)

FOUR MOVIES YOU COULD WATCH OVER AND OVER

1.She's having a baby
2. The holiday
3. The castle
4. Monsters Inc

FOUR CITIES YOU'VE LIVED IN

1. Newcastle, Australia
2. Melbourne, Australia
3. Chalk River, Canada
4. Lahr, Germany

FOUR TV SHOWS YOU LOVE TO WATCH

1. All Saints - LOVING the repeats, as I am only a recent convert. Don't try to talk to me between 2 and 3pm.
2. Glee - I wish I could sing.
3. Law and Order franchise, they are all good, a little too serious, but good.
4. The Good Wife - where is this show going, its twisty and turny, which I love.

FOUR PLACES YOU'VE BEEN ON VACATION

1. Europe - its a right of passage for all young Aussies - I went for the first time when I was 20, I actually turned 21 on the last day of my tour (was in 4 countries for my 21st birthday, Netherlands, Belgium, France and England)
2. NZ
3. Tasmania
4. Perth

FOUR WEBSITES YOU VISIT DAILY

1. Facebook.
2. Mamamia
3. Elsie Flannagan's website - A Beautiful Mess
4. Twitter - I'm a recent convert and its another massive time waster, I'm learning heaps about politics and its great for "event tv" such as the Logies, Underbelly, Masterchef.. all the good stuff.

FOUR OF YOUR FAVORITE FOODS

1. Chocolate of any description
2. Peanut butter sandwiches
3. Ice cream
4. Cake

FOUR SCHOOLS YOU'VE ATTENDED

1. Templestowe Valley Primary
2. Banyule High School
3. RMIT Tafe - Associate Diploma in Applied Science (Medical Laboratory)
4. RMIT University - Bachelor of Nursing

FOUR THINGS IN YOUR ROOM

1. Dust
2. Comfy bed
3. Tissues
4. Big arsed TV which is supposed to be hanging in my kitchen.

(Please note, this is an image found on Google, my room is not quite that dusty)

FOUR THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW

1. Jeans
2. Red long sleeved t shirt
3. My work cardigan cos its just a bit cold
4. Black shoes

FOUR PLACES I'D RATHER BE RIGHT NOW

1. Bed.
2. Cruising
3. Skiing
4. Melbourne (in our own home, which would mean we had moved)

A day in the life

I don't know what i want to blog about today. All I know is I don't want to mop the kitchen floor.

Jamie and Ryan have been sick. Jamie is ok now, back at work but still says he has the flu, heaven help us if he ever does get the flu.

Ryan on the other hand is pretty sick, he only has a cold, but its so yucky. The little man is coughing a lot and is quite hoarse - which is pretty funny when the only voice you have is a cry. His cry has become very pitiful. But I think he's turned a corner and is getting much better now. He is "snotting" all over the place, mainly my shoulder - nice.

A tale of a freeway

On the 12th April, it was almost two weeks ago now, we had a very eventful day.

We'd gone down to Victoria to visit the family. Let Ryan meet his rellies on Jamie's side and spend a bit more time with grandparents and cousins. The four of us drove all the way to the farm after Jamie finished work on the Thursday before Good Friday. We left Newcastle at 1.30pm, and arrived in Nathalia at approx 1am. It is a very long boring drive. The worst part is the roadworks on the "other side" of Sydney. Ryan did really well on the trip, he had a hissy fit around 7-8pm and Mark didn't cope too well with his screaming, but then he settled down and went to sleep again. We were pretty tired, but thankfully at midnight there is "The Challenge" on ABC radio, so we did a family competition on who would get the most questions right. Hahaha I won! We arrived at Jamie's parents house just at the end of the quiz. We had a lovely couple of days at their home. Connie, Paul and Toby were there as well and we always have a great time with them. Ryan didn't cope too well with the change of scenery, he became very clingy to me, crying if anyone else wanted a cuddle - unless they were taking him outside to see the chooks, then he was happy. Easter was nice, Mark got HEAPS of chocolate, as he is the only grandkid who eats chocolate yet. Gran and Grandpa came over for a visit, as did Aunty Mary and her daughter/grandsons. It was amazing to see those boys again, the twins were about 2 years old the last time I saw them, which I think was at Leigh's 21st. Obviously they are now 10!!!!

Drove down to Melbourne on Easter Sunday, we stayed at my parents home. Its always lovely to be there, everything is in the "right place".

We had a nice BBQ on Easter Monday, we caught up with Drew, Kelly and Taylor, Warren and finally met Kellie's family, Jeremy, Madelyn and Alyssa. Had to protect my littlest man from the crazy older woman (Alyssa who doesn't know her own strength yet, she is only a year old).

Jamie had to leave on Monday night as he had to go back to work. The boys and I stayed on for another week. We met up with Kirsty on Tuesday, looked after Roy on Wednesday, Jo and Sheena, Connie and Toby came over of Thursday. Mum and Dad returned on Friday. We went to Seymour on Saturday to meet up with Gran, Grandpa, Margie and Frank. Jo and Roy came over on Sunday after church, Mark and Dad went to the football. PHEW no wonder I was tired, it is tiring just writing that.

Monday morning we left EARLY about 6:30am to head off home. My dad was soooo nice to agree to drive up to Newcastle with us. We thought it was worth it just to drive through, stopping to feed Ryan (and ourselves) along the way. We made fantastic time. Not sure where we stopped for morning tea, but it was quite chilly. We had lunch at the famous "Dog on the Tuckerbox". Got out the picnic rug and let Ryan have some tummytime, got the cutest photo. I'll add it in tomorrow. Back in the car. Stopped at the rest stop next to the Belangalo State Forest, creepy, its where the Backpacker Murderer did his killings. Ryan seriously slept for the whole time.. he was so good.

Around 4pm we hit the outskirts of Sydney and finally I'd run out of stuff to talk about. So on the M7 freeway we decided to find a radio station to listen to. Trust me this is easier said than done as our car radio is no longer backlit so you have to guess what station you are on. I did quite easily find ABC Sydney, the first thing we heard was the traffic report - there was an accident on the F3 and it would be best to avoid it. Hmm the F3 is the only way I know between Sydney and Newcastle. Around 4:30pm I rang Jamie to ask if he knew of another way as I was having a spot of bother working out how to figure it out on the GPS, he suggested the Old Pacific Hwy and gave some directions. The traffic reporters went on to say that two trucks had collided at 12:30pm, one of the trucks was wedged under the other which was a full petrol tanker(!). They needed to decant the petrol before they were willing to attempt pulling them apart. Why had this not happened yet? It was now 4 hours after the accident. Supposedly what happened was a decanting truck was sent, but it was the wrong style, so they had to call for another one, but it had to come from Sydney which was the direction of what was becoming a terrible/horrendous traffic jam. We were rerouted around some old twisty roads until we got to the Old Pacific Hwy. There was traffic everywhere and it was getting dark. Ryan needed his next feed, so we pulled into a side street and I fed him. He didn't resettle too well, so Mark went into the front seat with my dad and I sat in the back with Ryan, he screamed for quite a long time - my dad says half an hour, I say an hour and a half. It took us 2 and a half hours to travel 10km. We kept listening to the ABC, got ourselves involved in another quiz, sort of felt like we were involved in a history making event. We saw cars where the driver was reading, car dancing, all the callers to the quiz were stuck in the jam. Mark got VERY stressed especially as the estimated arrival time kept pushing closer to midnight (please keep in mind we started this drive at 6.30am). The radio kept on saying "when are they going to open the con". All of a sudden I remembered that I have Twitter on my phone, it was going crazy @kkenealy tweets saying "OPEN THE CONTRAFLOW" surprisingly enough it was opened at 8:30pm and traffic started flowing, we got onto the F3 actually I don't' know which time. We finally started driving at a reasonable speed. We urgently needed to stop of the twin servos just before Newcastle as we needed to pee and we were starving - now it was 10:30 and my dad is the type of man who eats between 5:30 and 6:30 and we hadn't eaten!! Maccas had a line up of at least 40 people. So we decided to just keep driving, and finally got home at about 11pm.

ARRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH what a day.
It superseeded almost everything else of the previous week.

Hmmm - an older post from about a month ago

Ryan is obsessed with his mouth - like all 3.5 month old babies - he's either got his dummy, his hand, whatever toy I put into his hand shoved into his mouth. There is always drool and slobber everywhere. So tonight I was giving him a bath which is a very cute process - fist in mouth the whole time. He changed the position of his hand and put three fingers in... there was a noise "ack" and then he vomited. So have decided he's a bit bulimic.

Tomorrow is the start of creche. I'm a little nervous. He's still so tiny, the other kids in his room are all mobile, he can't even sit up yet. He won't drink from a bottle, only me! But my house sure needs a good tidy. So I'm hoping to do it on Thursdays when he's in creche.

Reality

Life is cruising along nicely at the moment. Mark is at school and its going well. Jamie is coping with work, and his business is growing nicely. He is still extremely busy and that is quite annoying, but its the way he likes his life. Ryan and I are having a good time at home. We're getting busier as we have Mother's Group now. We try to have one outing each day. I'm learning his "cues" and trying to get him to bed before it becomes problematic. Feeding is currently a HUGE issue. He is refusing a bottle. Luckily it is not imperative he have a bottle (except for when I go out and Jamie can't feed him), but we're all getting a little stressed about it. We'll keep trying.

This is part one of my series ... the three bears. There is a photo of me with two teddies when I'm in the nude (yes I'm just a baby at the time), I've got the same photo of Mark in the nude with two teddies. Just need to strip the bub off and get another bear. This Roger, the bear that Mark chose for him when he was only about half way grown. Very cute and soft bear. Ryan hasn't met this bear before, hence looks a little nervous.

This is a very common face that Ryan pulls. Not really sure why... but the "bug eye" face makes us all laugh.



Finally, this is me with my two sons. We had a half day trip to Karuah so Jamie could get some spare parts for his Commodore. Instead of watching him pull a car apart, the kids and I stayed in town. Karuah is so sad, they put a bypass in and now the town is almost dead. We had a snack at the bakery and then went town to the Myall River which runs through the town and has a little walk along the paths until it started raining. It did have a beautiful park and Mark had a play whilst Ryan had his lunch. Two boys on BMXs rode by several times whilst we were feeding, I think they wanted to catch an eyeful of my boobs... how exciting.

Things I love

1. Dummies - its not very PC, parents that are cool have kids who don't use dummies (I was one with Mark, smugly saying, "he doesn't need a dummy"). Sadly not so for #2. He, and his parents have a total dummy addiction. I think its so cute when Ryan is snoozing and then he cries out... he's lost the dummy and all we need to do is pop it back in and he's back asleep. Totally fallen in love with his "dummy catcher", much cuter than the NUK ones a the supermarket, but totally necessary.

2. Cupcakes - yes still in love with making cupcakes. Made some delicious strawberry ones last week with fresh strawberries. AND I forgot to take a picture of them, sorry. My lovely friend Rebecca bought me a cupcake carrier. It holds 24 cakes in two tiers and is amazing. Her only criteria for giving it to me... that I bake for her sometimes.

3. Quilts - I want to learn to quilt. Need to take a class. I feel I would be good at quilting.

What are you watching?

As a lot of people already know, I love my telly. Just a little too addicted, but at the moment, I don't really care. So this is what I'm watching....


1. UNDERBELLY: The first series. I just started again today. I think its a brilliant series, I really don't want to think of it as a true story (but it is), as its SO violent.


2. THE BIG BANG THEORY: I love the nerdiness of it, Sheldon is my hero. He comes up with the best one liners. Always had a crush on Johnny Galecki, from my Roseanne days

3. WINTER OLYMPICS: I totally loved the Vancouver Olympics. I loved the skating, skiing, snowboarding, luge, skeleton and the bobsled. I even watched the hockey but I really don't like figure skating. Totally adored Johnny Weir and how he flirted with Leila on Channel 9... adorable. Thought Sean White was very cool - but didn't hear him speak.

4. HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER: Just seriously cool. Doogie Houser all grown up.

Middle week of Febrary

Hanging out in "the chair" in the kitchen whilst I was making tea. He is with his Christmas present "Yomiko" from Marg & Frank, I think he was trying to bite Yomiko on the nose here. Truth be told, he's not interested in toys at all yet. Its all about the oral phase with young Ryan, he wants a dummy or fist in his mouth.



Our two boys. This is such a delightful photo. Mark looks so grown up and BIG compared to his tiny brother. Ryan looks a bit surprised to be having his photo taken. I think they are the most beautiful creatures in the world (inside and out)



Meeting the dogs. The top one is my pathetic attempt to photoshop a tshirt onto Jamie! Don't need that kind of nudity on this site. R looks pretty serious about it. Charlie and Skye were wonderful, they just sat in front and didn't jump or lick. We are very lucky to have dogs that don't do either of those distasteful things. There is nothing worse than dog lick - well to me anyway.

Ryan's Birth Story

Warning - might be distressing to some viewers.

I haven't shared this very well so far. Ryan was due on the 7th December, regular readers of this blog know that heat and Christy do not mix, add in pregnancy and to say I was over it... well I was over it.

3rd December 2009 20:30pm
I was sitting on the recliner starting to watch Law and Order (I'm pretty sure it was L&O), when I felt a trickle from down below, it made me sit up and take notice. I'd been having incontinence issues, so was wearing a pad, but this was not a "wee" feeling but something a little more serious. So what did I do.. I ignored it, hoping it would go away. I ignored until about 9pm as it kept coming. I spoke to my mum, do you think this is my waters breaking, what should I do? Surely contractions should start. I promptly forgot everything they said at birth classes about when to ring etc. After a while (around 10:15ish) Jamie suggested I get it over with and call the hospital.
So I did, they said to come in just for a check over, not to rush. They seemed more insistent mainly because I had had the Cesarean before and was planning a VBAC (Vaginal Birth after Cesarean).
I wasn't sure if I should take my hospital bag as I felt great, and there was just a little trickle every time I moved.
We were put into one of the delivery rooms, the midwife came and chatted to us, said she would expect we'd go home, but had to wait for the doctors, who were delivering a baby by c-section in the theatres and they wouldn't be long.
My waters kept on coming, I went through 4 maternity pads waiting for those doctors. Our room only had a radio, no telly, we weren't allowed to have our phones on and Jamie wasn't allowed his laptop. We were technology starved, so had to talk to each other. Jamie was a bit pissed off as it was now nearing midnight and we were just sitting there.

4th December 2009 12:30
Things changed, I had my first contraction. It made me stand up and bend over double. Then the next one and then the next one and so on. I was unable to move when they hit and then I got diarrhoea. Off to the loo every 5 minutes for about an hour until I would have to have been empty! Not sure what time the docs came in, but surprise surprise yes my waters had broken and I was in early labour... it will be hours and would I like to go home with a panadeine forte (hello, Mia Freedman, just like her book for her second child). I was lying on the bed, buzzing frequently cos it "really really hurt". I think I was dilated around 3-4cm at this stage and then I kind of lost it.

I told my midwife that I made a mistake, I would not be able to attempt a VBAC and that I would like to have a c-section as quickly as possible. The doctor had previously told me I was able to change my mind at any time (hmmm, this is all a lie). I then demanded some better pain relief as "my pain is much worse than anyone elses" so some such bullshit. I was not a pleasant person at this stage. I know I was grunting, crying and most importantly very still, not able to move. The overnight midwife (I think Michelle) was VERY VERY slow with every request. The morphine finally came.. she did not ask me for my name, DOB or allergy status!!! At the time, I would say it had done nothing, but I do think I/we were able to sleep for a little bit. Around 6am, realising that the bloody c-section I had asked for wasn't coming, I requested an epidural (as is my right in this western society I live in), but again REALLY slow. She tried to talk me out of it, saying I was doing really well and that maybe just another dose of morphine would be ok. I was also sucking on the gas a lot at this stage, again thinking it was doing nothing, but really it must have been working quite well.
Michelle left the room again, I spoke with Jamie, saying she's not going to ask the doc for the epidural, she's gonna make it so it will be too late for me to have it. Knowing it was nearly change over time, my plan was to be really pathetic and "get the epidural"

4th December 2009 7am
Changeover saw TWO midwives come into our room, a young girl who I think was Robyn and an older one whose name is Carol. Why did I need two midwives???? I'm sure I asked if it was a slow morning, but I was spun some crap about me being a special case. I put on the waterworks saying I was in far too much pain and really needed an epidural. Robyn then said those fateful words "its a bit too late for the epidural now" I KNEW IT, its all a conspiracy. Jamie called Mum for me, as I felt I really needed her at this stage too. Jamie went off for a coffee and some breakfast.
Problem occured - I needed to pee, but as I had been unable to move off of my side on the bed, how could I get myself all the way over to the bathroom. Took about 15 minutes to walk the 4 meters. I sat on that loo for at least half an hour, many contractions (at this stage I was VERY vocal) but no pee. Went back to bed and Robyn gave me an in-out catheter, and truth be told, I couldn't care less, there was a bit of relief. I had been munching on ice for most of the night and that liquid needed to come out.
Next everyone started to focus on the monitor, neither Jamie or I can remember them telling us exactly what they were focusing on, we remember Carol saying that the baby "liked the contractions and wanted to come out", not that there was a problem and the baby needed to come out! Just a minor detail.

They had contacted the registrar to come and help deliver, I was moved to the birthing stool, which was a vinyl covered stool that I squatted over and needed to push like having a poo! Oh delightful. That was when Mum came in! Jamie was sitting on the bed behind me, with me leaning back onto him. I was quite happy there, pushing really well, Carol I think had her head down the business end, seeing what was going on, telling me I was doing really well (when most of the time I really wasn't).

The doc said I HAD TO BE BACK ON THE BED. I can't move???? Finally I was on the bed, Jamie had one knee, someone else had the other one and that's when I completely lost it. "No, no no I'm NOT doing this anymore" and I refused to push. BTW Ryan was either crowning or very close to it. I shut my eyes and wouldn't listen to anyone.
Carol then pretty much yelled at me "Christy, you have to open your eyes and listen to me, your baby NEEDS to come out now and you are going to push him out NOW"

4rd December 2009 9:50am
So that is what we did. I believe the roof lifted off the hospital as I screamed a bit too loud. If anyone was doing a tour of the birthing suite at that time, they would be booking for a cesaer on the spot!. The head coming out has to be the worst thing, it stings, hurts, and is generally the worst pain ever. Then a little breather and then push the shoulders out and then the baby slips out. THEN no pain whatsoever which is really weird.

Then all hell broke loose, they didn't put him on my chest but whipped him away to the resuscitation area, I looked over and saw someone doing chest compressions on him. I started to cry quite hysterically and they were ringing the emergency number and all of a sudden about 8 new people were in the room all hovering around Ryan, getting drugs and all sorts of stuff. Jamie was asked to go over to him, and then they shoved him out of the way. He came to me for a little bit about 10 minutes after birth for a little cuddle and then he went to the NICU with Jamie and was in a humidicrib for a day with oxygen, nasal feeding tubes, pulse oximetry, ECG recording.

Back to me. I was given the needle to birth the placenta, which was just an odd feeling. This was when they saw it! There was a KNOT in the umbilical cord, coupled with the cord being around his neck, no wonder the little fella was "flat" when he came out. A bit later I got my stitches (ouch) and was allowed to eat, I had two breakfasts.


About an hour later I was able to go around and see Ryan, once again floods of tears knowing that we had almost lost him. Carol had said because of the knot in the cord, if I had been given the epidural it would have slowed the labour down and then he might have died! OMG.


The main reason I was convinced to do the VBAC was because everyone said the chance of having a second "cord issue" would be so remote, not worth thinking about. Well... two boys - first one had the cord around his neck twice and almost died requiring emergency c-section, second had it around his neck and a knot pulled tight. I feel I have cord problems and will have a c-section for my next pregnancy.

I apologize for any spelling/grammar errors, but can't be bothered proof reading at this stage.

If you read to the end, I congratulate you!

Pleasantries of Life.

I'm not as good at blogging as I thought I would be. Might have something to do with Jamie being SO busy with building our business at the moment, that it is quite hard to get onto the computer, the easy to use computer that is.

Some cute things that happen in our house:

1. The other day Ryan was having a bath (bloody cute in itself), and Mark came in to help. I have a bag of bath toys already hanging in the bathroom, despite Ryan being far too small to play with toys yet. Mark wanted to get out a rubber duck for him, so he reached across and got one out, it slipped out of his hand and banged R on the head. R started to scream from the shock of it, M started to cry, sob actually. Mark cried for a good 5 minutes feeling guilty that he'd hurt his brother. For the rest of the evening, Mark hovered near by, kissing him on the head and cuddling him. Very sweet
2. Smiles - these are happening more often. Huge gummy smiles with associated toe curling. He is enjoying "If you're happy and you know it", "open shut them" and a musical bunch of flowers. Babies minds must be very random.
3. Discovering hands - Ryan now looks at his hands and more importantly sucks on them instead of a dummy for periods of time. Very cute.
4. Feeding in the night and going back to bed to find Jamie on my side. He wriggles across to find the warm spot I guess. Its nice to be missed.
5. Oooh, I got my "little squirt" nappy cleaning attachment for the loo. Its brilliant.
   

Some not-so-cute things

1. Vomiting - My left shoulder smells permanently of milk vomit, as often does my back and the back of my shin. After almost every feed he vomits - YUCK.
2. The golden shower - I'm a bit over this one too. Why do boys feel its ok to pee the second the nappy is off???? Luckily it really only goes onto his own leg.
3. A still not finished kitchen, hopefully the weather will cool down, so we can get going on that project again.
4. HOT weather. So sick of this heat and humidity. I nearly cried in the car yesterday when they said "Wednesday is going to be particularly humid", as I'm finding almost everyday particularly humid, I'm quite terrified of what this means.

Mmmm baking.

Another love of mine is baking. Last year I went through a HUGE cupcake "thing", but its not very practical for school lunches etc... especially when on a diet. So this year I will do my baking to give away, like tomorrow at Mark's cricket match. We will be partaking in "SUGAR COOKIES"


Now for the method
To start with I creamed the butter and sugar. I would have loved to use butter, but I only had margarine, so that is what I used.


Four eggs. My mother knows that I have a thing about eggs, it is my dream to own chickens and use their eggs, but until that time I only use free range. It is my little bit for the goodness of the chooks

All mixed in!

Stir in the flour

Roll out on a flour dusted bench

Cut out in the shape you desire... I got some star shaped cookie cutters, so that is what I made. As an aside, it is difficult to maintain the shape of a star, so some were a little wonky.

After they were cooked, sitting on my wonderful oven.

Now they are iced. I used a glace icing, which is just icing sugar, food colouring and a little hot water. It didn't spread like I wanted it to, so I flicked the icing all over the cookies, and I do like the way it has turned out.